Hello out there! This is my first story for Fanfic. I am trying to combine
the stories of Harry Potter, Pride and Prejudice and the Enchanted Forest
together. The story is supposed to be wickedly humourous with nice snide
character portrayals. If this is not up to your expectations, please tell
me your comments.
The Author (
*** In Dumbledore's candy room, Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Dumbledore's eyes welled up in tears, almost spilling out. He folded his arms together and pursed his lips together into his most becoming pout. He said petulantly, "But I want to go and meet Zemenar and and …"
Professor McGonagall placed her lips into the thinnest of all thin lines and bellowed, "No!"
*** In the dining room, Longbourn
"My darling Mr. Bennet, you promised to bring Mr. Bingley to view our magnificent plot of land in the Enchanted Forest and to introduce them to royalty," cooed Mrs. Bennet coyly.
"I did? When? Please help me lay down the hour, the place and the time and I will readily comply with your wishes," answered Mr. Bennet.
"But Mr. Bennet, think of Jane's future, the future of marrying a man with FIVE thousand a year." Her voice had almost reached the level of a shriek.
"Perhaps, Perhaps… I have given it great thought but it is not my heart to give away," he mused. Mrs. Bennet threw her hands in the air.
*** In Severus' office, Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry
"Severus, I have been thinking deeply over a subject," muttered Dumbledore.
"Yeah, I suppose that relationship with Potter and me," Severus thought icily.
Dumbledore droned on, obviously oblivious to Snape's change of emotion: "I have been longing to set a field trip for the students in the holidays. I would like to give them an experience of how it is like to be in a real magical place, to visit the Caves of Fire and Night." He raised his eyes hopefully at Snape. Snape's eyes were getting larger and larger by the minute. At the last point when his eyes almost popped out, he replied flatly, "NO!"
*** In Mr. Bingley's garden
"Mr. Bingley, how delighted I am to see you. We were just talking about you. Mr. Bennet has expressed his wishes for you to join us in our annual trip to the Enchanted Forest. It is a truly sweet place," Mrs Bennet grinned expectantly at Mr. Bingley.
She suddenly caught sight of Mr. Darcy, "You may bring your friend too." Mr. Bennet refused to call Darcy by name. After all, it was his entire fault. Jane and Elizabeth were very ashamed of their mother's ill-manners. Jane blushed and Mr. Bingley saw the reddening of her cheeks. He took a deep breath and said, "We would be delighted to join your company, Madam."
Darcy just looked at Elizabeth without knowing there was a conversation…
*** A letter from Dumbledore
30th October 2002
Dear Zemenar,
This is your old friend, Dumbledore, from the school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I can still remember the good times we had together at Hogwarts. Remember when we tried to blow up Mr. Bibbins, our Potions Master and stun Mr. Kink, our Charms teacher?
It has been a long time since I met you so I am very interested in catching up with you again. I am also organizing a field trip. I would dearly like my students to have some first hand experience in dealing with magical places like the one of the Enchanted Forest. I would also like to broaden their spectrum of uses of magical items like the staffs you use and show them the Caves of Fire and Night.
Please reply as soon as possible to inform me of the dates you are available. We will most probably arrive during the month of December. Thank you.
Your friend,
Albus
*** Mr. Bennet's sitting room, Longbourn
Mr. Bennet sat scowling at the fireplace. He was in a foul mood. "When did I give you leave to inform Mr. Bingley of the Enchanted Forest," he grumbled as Mrs. Bennet wrung her delicate lacy handkerchief.
"But, but… Mr. Bingley expressed such a fond desire to see it…" she gulped as she heard a growl evaporate from Mr. Bennet.
"He did, did he? Well, he shall not go!" brayed Mr. Bennet.
"But, but…" Mrs. Bennet whined half-fainting before demanding her salts to sniff. That was the end of the matter.
***Wizards Headquarters, whereabouts unknown
The headquarters was in a whirlwind. The place was chaotic as Zemenar was throwing a tantrum. "That fool, Dumbledore, is coming here! I never forgave him because he beat me by half-mark for Divination. But, he was my good friend. Luckily, he never knew that I was the one who had placed itching powder on his robes on Graduation Day. He was saying the opening speech and scratching his bottom. It was hilarious!" Zemenar snickered at the thought.
His face soon fell. "What plan do we have that month? Oh yes, we are supposed to capture Kazul, now that Cimorene is out of the way!" he groaned. "Never mind, we can always show the kids how to capture dragons. Show Dumbledore that my way is better than his way. ANTEROLL! Send Dumbledore a reply saying the dates 2nd to 20th of December is perfect for us."
Anteroll nodded his head before writing a parchment of his father's message and handling it to an elf. He hates being a secretary and yet, his father refuses to let him do other things. How he wished he could be the greatest of all wizards, the things he could do… "ANTEROLL, stop day-dreaming or you will never be anyone great!"
*** In the King's Castle, Enchanted Forest
Morwen had come with a letter in her hand, Telemain lagging behind. King Mendenbar and Queen Cimorene were in the parlour eating bread and honey. Prince Daystar was in counting room, struggling and battling with decimals and algebra.
"Elizabeth's letter has come. She is coming this December holidays! We are going to meet after a long while. It is too good to be true! However, her irritating mother and foolhardy sisters are joining too. Oh and Jane's latest beau is coming too. Well, not really beau, because he didn't really publicized it, but Lizzy feels that there is soon to be a marriage. Imagine if they have it here. Daystar's wedding won't be here yet. And, I just love weddings. Remember your wedding and mine's? Oh, it is too good to be true!" Morwen said all these in one breath.
Queen Cimorene raised her brows and asked sweetly, "Could you repeat that again?" Morwen panted and almost fainted at Cimorene's words. She heaved to steady herself.
***Dumbledore's Office, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
"Oh goody! We have the green light from Zemenar! I still remembered when I left a bit of slime on the floor during Graduation Day. We got the same highest mark for Transfiguration but Professor Flubber read his name out first! So I took revenge and just as he ascended to get the prize, he slipped and made a loud BANG! Bang! Bang!" Dumbledore's face fell as he caught Professor McGonagall's icy stare.
*** A letter from Mrs. Bennet
Dear Honoured and Esteemed Gentleman,
I am so delighted to inform you of our departure on the 15th of November as it takes about two weeks to arrive at the Enchanted Forest. We will spend our holiday there from the 2nd to 20th of December. Please meet at our place, Longbourn, on the 15th of November, 9 o'clock in the morning.
P/s Tell your friend about the procedures as we would not like to start off late.
Your obedient servant,
Mrs. Bennet
The Author (
*** In Dumbledore's candy room, Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Dumbledore's eyes welled up in tears, almost spilling out. He folded his arms together and pursed his lips together into his most becoming pout. He said petulantly, "But I want to go and meet Zemenar and and …"
Professor McGonagall placed her lips into the thinnest of all thin lines and bellowed, "No!"
*** In the dining room, Longbourn
"My darling Mr. Bennet, you promised to bring Mr. Bingley to view our magnificent plot of land in the Enchanted Forest and to introduce them to royalty," cooed Mrs. Bennet coyly.
"I did? When? Please help me lay down the hour, the place and the time and I will readily comply with your wishes," answered Mr. Bennet.
"But Mr. Bennet, think of Jane's future, the future of marrying a man with FIVE thousand a year." Her voice had almost reached the level of a shriek.
"Perhaps, Perhaps… I have given it great thought but it is not my heart to give away," he mused. Mrs. Bennet threw her hands in the air.
*** In Severus' office, Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry
"Severus, I have been thinking deeply over a subject," muttered Dumbledore.
"Yeah, I suppose that relationship with Potter and me," Severus thought icily.
Dumbledore droned on, obviously oblivious to Snape's change of emotion: "I have been longing to set a field trip for the students in the holidays. I would like to give them an experience of how it is like to be in a real magical place, to visit the Caves of Fire and Night." He raised his eyes hopefully at Snape. Snape's eyes were getting larger and larger by the minute. At the last point when his eyes almost popped out, he replied flatly, "NO!"
*** In Mr. Bingley's garden
"Mr. Bingley, how delighted I am to see you. We were just talking about you. Mr. Bennet has expressed his wishes for you to join us in our annual trip to the Enchanted Forest. It is a truly sweet place," Mrs Bennet grinned expectantly at Mr. Bingley.
She suddenly caught sight of Mr. Darcy, "You may bring your friend too." Mr. Bennet refused to call Darcy by name. After all, it was his entire fault. Jane and Elizabeth were very ashamed of their mother's ill-manners. Jane blushed and Mr. Bingley saw the reddening of her cheeks. He took a deep breath and said, "We would be delighted to join your company, Madam."
Darcy just looked at Elizabeth without knowing there was a conversation…
*** A letter from Dumbledore
30th October 2002
Dear Zemenar,
This is your old friend, Dumbledore, from the school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I can still remember the good times we had together at Hogwarts. Remember when we tried to blow up Mr. Bibbins, our Potions Master and stun Mr. Kink, our Charms teacher?
It has been a long time since I met you so I am very interested in catching up with you again. I am also organizing a field trip. I would dearly like my students to have some first hand experience in dealing with magical places like the one of the Enchanted Forest. I would also like to broaden their spectrum of uses of magical items like the staffs you use and show them the Caves of Fire and Night.
Please reply as soon as possible to inform me of the dates you are available. We will most probably arrive during the month of December. Thank you.
Your friend,
Albus
*** Mr. Bennet's sitting room, Longbourn
Mr. Bennet sat scowling at the fireplace. He was in a foul mood. "When did I give you leave to inform Mr. Bingley of the Enchanted Forest," he grumbled as Mrs. Bennet wrung her delicate lacy handkerchief.
"But, but… Mr. Bingley expressed such a fond desire to see it…" she gulped as she heard a growl evaporate from Mr. Bennet.
"He did, did he? Well, he shall not go!" brayed Mr. Bennet.
"But, but…" Mrs. Bennet whined half-fainting before demanding her salts to sniff. That was the end of the matter.
***Wizards Headquarters, whereabouts unknown
The headquarters was in a whirlwind. The place was chaotic as Zemenar was throwing a tantrum. "That fool, Dumbledore, is coming here! I never forgave him because he beat me by half-mark for Divination. But, he was my good friend. Luckily, he never knew that I was the one who had placed itching powder on his robes on Graduation Day. He was saying the opening speech and scratching his bottom. It was hilarious!" Zemenar snickered at the thought.
His face soon fell. "What plan do we have that month? Oh yes, we are supposed to capture Kazul, now that Cimorene is out of the way!" he groaned. "Never mind, we can always show the kids how to capture dragons. Show Dumbledore that my way is better than his way. ANTEROLL! Send Dumbledore a reply saying the dates 2nd to 20th of December is perfect for us."
Anteroll nodded his head before writing a parchment of his father's message and handling it to an elf. He hates being a secretary and yet, his father refuses to let him do other things. How he wished he could be the greatest of all wizards, the things he could do… "ANTEROLL, stop day-dreaming or you will never be anyone great!"
*** In the King's Castle, Enchanted Forest
Morwen had come with a letter in her hand, Telemain lagging behind. King Mendenbar and Queen Cimorene were in the parlour eating bread and honey. Prince Daystar was in counting room, struggling and battling with decimals and algebra.
"Elizabeth's letter has come. She is coming this December holidays! We are going to meet after a long while. It is too good to be true! However, her irritating mother and foolhardy sisters are joining too. Oh and Jane's latest beau is coming too. Well, not really beau, because he didn't really publicized it, but Lizzy feels that there is soon to be a marriage. Imagine if they have it here. Daystar's wedding won't be here yet. And, I just love weddings. Remember your wedding and mine's? Oh, it is too good to be true!" Morwen said all these in one breath.
Queen Cimorene raised her brows and asked sweetly, "Could you repeat that again?" Morwen panted and almost fainted at Cimorene's words. She heaved to steady herself.
***Dumbledore's Office, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
"Oh goody! We have the green light from Zemenar! I still remembered when I left a bit of slime on the floor during Graduation Day. We got the same highest mark for Transfiguration but Professor Flubber read his name out first! So I took revenge and just as he ascended to get the prize, he slipped and made a loud BANG! Bang! Bang!" Dumbledore's face fell as he caught Professor McGonagall's icy stare.
*** A letter from Mrs. Bennet
Dear Honoured and Esteemed Gentleman,
I am so delighted to inform you of our departure on the 15th of November as it takes about two weeks to arrive at the Enchanted Forest. We will spend our holiday there from the 2nd to 20th of December. Please meet at our place, Longbourn, on the 15th of November, 9 o'clock in the morning.
P/s Tell your friend about the procedures as we would not like to start off late.
Your obedient servant,
Mrs. Bennet