Title: Sincere Amore Part: 1/(1?) Author: Jenn (J.L. Billig) jenniferbillig@comcast.net Rating: G Archive: CJDannyFanFic, Enchanted [], Conflict of Interest [] and anywhere else that asks.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, I'm just playing with them at
the moment. I promise to put them back in the toy box when I'm done
so that others may play. Pairing: C.J. Cregg and Danny Concannon Songs Used: Nickelback 'Yanking Out My.'; Jon Bon Jovi 'Always' Spoilers: None really since I have only seen after the first season off and on, but it is after he left and came back.

Author's Note: This is my first 'West Wing' fanfic and my first C.J / Danny. Just a warning, I like to play between sweet and fluffy to angst and heart break, whichever depending on my moods. I'm also a business major / C.J. wanna be, not a writer / Danny wanna be, so if there are any major typos or grammar problems, please let me know so I can correct them; and I am very wordy.

~ Jenn

Feeling fine, Lets rip out yours instead of mine. And all you need are several ways to watch me bleed? Well, thanks for stoppin' this beating in my chest. It's easier now, and I'm happy like this, just like this. Even though I ain't coming back now I didn't mean to seem as though I was so ungrateful for all you've done here

For yanking out my...

It was snowing, that was the first thing that C.J. noticed as she stared out the window in her office. And not just a light snow that covered the ground but let through the tips of green grass; the kind that piled up to the base of a window giving the mental image that one could open the window and slide to the ground safely. It was a snow that stranded people wherever they were, and shut down governments as effectively as an assassination attempt. Flake after unique flake fell from an endless gray sky that showed no signs of letting up its current assault on the helpless White House and surrounding areas of Washington, D.C. and its fellow states. The US Military could offer suggestions on protecting the people of the nation and its territories; the Secret Service could for the most part protect the President and members of his family and other members of government; but neither could come up with a way to stop the endless stream of snow flakes falling from the sky.

And as much as it was snowing, C.J. wished she could get out of the building and bury herself somewhere that no one would be able to find her. She wanted to be left alone; she needed to be left alone at the moment. Shutting the door and closing the blinds were the closet thing she was going to get the privacy she so craved; unplugging the phone was something she was forbidden to do and the lock of her door had been broken in one of Josh's latest missions of annoying her to death. At the moment the entire White House, its staff and the first family, along with the entire Whitehouse Press Corps as so eloquently put by Toby "Snowed the hell in." Though it was something that had been anticipated, so the people there had been prepared for the most part. Most of the staff had brought along overnight bags stuffed full of clothes and other necessary items because one really couldn't stop the running of the nation completely because there was a little snow out in the air and on the ground. Most of the day had been a "take out the trash day" with news stories, and the only work that was getting done was a catch up of back work. The reporters who worked the Whitehouse were finishing up their stories and hoping to catch a break of something important to make up for the fact that they were now guests of the Federal Government. C.J. had made a final stop there to check on everyone before heading back to her own office to catch up on some work and get some sleep. She probably should have avoided it since there really wasn't a need for her to check on everyone, Carol had seen to their comfort and the set up of cots in the East Room and the use of the showers, but she'd had an overwhelming need to at least see Danny and say goodnight. Not that there was anything going on between the two, not with the blasted 'conflict of interest' that was always being tossed at her by Leo or Toby, but deep down she could now admit that she felt something besides friendship for the reporter. And there had been a part of her that had thought he still harbored those feelings for her, but that part of her had run away after it had been ripped out during her trip to the East Room.

She'd stopped in the doorway, planning on asking if anyone needed anything else while secretly searching out Danny to say her goodnight without looking like she'd really taken the time to find him; but that plan had stopped when she'd found him lying across one of the couches with a female reporter stretched out next to him - to close to him. They'd been facing each other that much C.J. had noticed before fleeing the room to the safety of her office. Shutting the door, she had proceeded to shut the blinds to the outer halls before dropping onto the couch. There were tears that had threatened to fall behind her eyes, but she blinked them back while telling herself she had no right to be upset, she was the one who kept telling him no. What had she expected him to do, wait for Bartlett's second term as president be over for her? 'Yes' a little voice inside of her head answered. Shaking her head, she had stood and begun hunting through her suitcase for a pair of pajama pants and a shirt; pulling off her worn suit and bra before pulling on the red flannel pants covered in white snow flakes and a black no sleeve shirt. Sitting down on the couch, she had pulled on a thick pair of white socks before standing again and crossing the room to her small closet. Opening it, she had pulled out the three pillows she kept stacked in there along with the blue fleece throw blanket with white snow flakes and matching comforter. After setting up her makeshift bed on the overstuffed couch, she had used the mirror hanging in the closet to pull her hair up on top of her head in a loose pony tail. Crossing to the floor to ceiling bookshelves that housed the numerous TVs that had long since been turned off along with books and other knick- knacks, C.J. had turned on the portable stereo to the C.D. that was inside. As the soft drum and piano start of the song began to fill the room, she had moved to her current position in front of the window and stared out.

Hugging herself against the inner chill she felt at the loss of Danny, she turned from the window and crossed the room to the couch. Sitting down, she reached over and turned off the light illuminating the room and laid down, pulling the blanket and comforter over her body and her head, burying her face in a pillow as she finally let the tears she'd been holding back fall.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This romeo is bleeding But you can't see his blood It's nothing but some feelings

That this old dog kicked up. It's been raining since you left me Now I'm drowning in the flood You see I've always been a fighter But without you I give up. Now I can't sing a love song Like the way it's meant to be Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore but baby, that's just me.

It had become quiet in the dimly lit East Room Danny noted to himself as he glanced around. The reporters who had filed into the room to sleep on the couches and cots set up by Whitehouse staff were all huddled under blankets, sleeping about as well as anyone could under the circumstances. He'd hope to see C.J. before the night was over, but so far, she hadn't come into the room. That was odd all into itself because he knew how protective she was of *her* reporters, and because he thought she'd come and say goodnight for Gail. Shifting to a sitting position, he carefully removed himself from the grasp of Michelle and stood, stretching to remove the kinks. Bending over, he gathered the case that contained his laptop and notebook, putting the strap onto his shoulder before grabbing the sneakers he had kicked off earlier. Padding down the hall in his stocking feet, he felt like laughing at the irony that he was walking through the Whitehouse as if he lived there dressed in gray sweat pants and an oversized Notre Dame t-shirt. Entering the area where her office was, Danny crossed the room and knocked softly on the closed door. Hearing no answer, but the sounds of music from inside, he pushed open the door and stepped into the dark room. Enough light was filtering in from the bullpen and outside for him to make out her figure buried under blankets and pillows on the couch. Setting his bag and shoes on the floor, he slowly closed the door, the only sound it made a click as it closed against the frame. Carefully crossing the room, he sat down on the carpet and glanced at the pillows over her head. Somewhere under the mountain of pillows rested the face that he wanted to caress, the eyes he wanted to get lost in and the lips he wanted to feel pressed against his always. Shifting closer towards the couch, he lifted a hand to move the pillow that covered the top part of his sincere amore; he just had to get her to see that.

Gently pulling the fluffy object away, he bent forward to press his lips against the back of her hair when he heard the chocking sobs muffled by the pillow; and with the faint light coming from the snowy outside, he could see her shoulders shaking. Dropping the pillow onto the floor next to him, he was on his knees in a second and dragging her face out of the pillow. Seeing the tear stained face surrounded by chestnut locks, he felt something pull at his heart as he quickly used his thumbs to brush away the liquid trail on her cheeks, his hands cupping her face gently.

"What's wrong C.J.?"

It took her a moment to realize what was happening having been so far buried in her grief that she hadn't felt the pillow being removed. Another moment had passed before it had registered in her conscious mind that she was starring into the gray-blue eyes she had just been sobbing about. Reacting, she tried to pull back but found herself anchored in place by his hands.

"Go away."

He applied more pressure with his fingers as she tried to pull away, watched as more tears fell.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong."

"What do you care?" she spat out, trying her hardest to glare at him, though she wasn't having much luck. Her heart just wasn't in it. "Go back to the East Room Daniel."

And I will love you, baby - Always And I'll be there forever and a day - Always I'll be there till the stars don't shine Till the heavens burst and The words don't rhyme And know when I die, you'll be on my mind And I'll love you - Always

"I am not leaving Claudia Jean. Not until you tell me what has you crying here in your office, all alone, as if you've suddenly realized that you're the last person here on Earth."

Brushing away more tears with the pads of his thumbs, he starred into her eyes. "And I care because I love you C.J. I - love - you." He said again, for emphasis.

"I don't give a damn about conflicts of interest; I could care less what the president thinks or Leo or Toby or my editor or the millions of people in the nation, you're the one who matters. I'm in love with the strong, intelligent, honor bound, stubborn, proud, beautiful woman who is the Press Secretary for the President, not with the idea that she is the Press Secretary. I'm in love with you Claudia Jean Cregg; you've stolen my heart and become the love I never have to question."

Leaning forward, he gently kissed the salty tears awake from her cheeks, letting his forward rest against hers.

"Please tell me what's wrong." He asked softly.

Gripping his hands tightly with her fingers, she held him in place, afraid that if she let him go, he'd disappear. Breathing in the soft scent that was uniquely him, she dug her nails into his hands and opened her eyes, starring directly into the ones centimeters from her own. "You left me." She hiccupped almost too softly for him to hear.

"Never."

"You did; I saw you." She hissed; the tears falling again as the icy feeling engulfed her.

A bewildered look crossed his features as he tried to figure out what she was talking about. He had no clue what she was saying; he'd thought he had made it clear that he was interested in her. "Saw me what C.J.?"

"I saw you in the East Room."

Realization struck as he kissed her nose. "So you did come up."

Nodding, she clung to his hands tighter, almost to the point of drawing blood. "I wanted to say goodnight and to make sure everyone was okay; that you were okay, and I *saw* you."

"What you saw, my sweet flamingo was me comforting a friend. Michelle's fiancé was killed in a car accident the other day, and she was upset. That's all Il mio amore dolce."

"I didn't know." She said softly, her grip loosening some.

"I didn't know." She said again as she let her fingers release his hands to run through the red and silver hairs of his neatly trimmed goatee. Closing her eyes, she pressed her mouth against his, desperately needing to taste him as her fingers pressed into his cheeks and the tears fell again.

He kissed her back, letting her seek whatever it was she was seeking. Sliding his hands down to her shoulders, he gently pulled her until she slid off the couch and into his lap. Settling Indian style on the floor, he rubbed reassuring circles on her back as her hands slid down his chest to grip his shirt tightly in her fists. Pulling her lips away from his, she let her head fall until it rested into the crevasse between his neck and shoulder, her hands crushed between their bodies as she clung to and pressed against him in the same moment. Her body shook in his arms with each sob and he held her tightly, his cheek pressed against the top of her hair as he let her release the pent up emotions. It was sometime later before she had stopped her soul filled sobs and just sat there clinging to him. His hands rested against her back in a sign of comfort as he held her, worried about her emotional state more than anything else at that moment.

C.J. felt safe and loved in his arms, and she didn't want to leave that. It had been so long since she had felt that; a mere child and she was afraid of losing that too. Lifting her head, her tear stained face looked into his. "I'm sorry."

"Never be sorry for feeling." He said, running his hands upwards against the side of her face and into her hair.

Laying her hands against his, she looked at him with a serious look. "Please don't leave me again, I.I don't think I would be okay if you did."

"I'm not planning on it." He said, kissing her briefly.

"Okay." She answered, a weak smile on her face.

Exhaustion from the day and from the emotional release were fighting against her will to stay awake, he could see it in her features. Sliding his arms under hers, he lifted her off his lap and back onto the couch. "Go to sleep now and we'll talk in the morning."

Gesturing towards her windows, he smiled. "It's not like we're going anywhere by the weather reports."

Nodding, she reached for his hand and pulled him to her. "Stay with me tonight, please Danny?"

Shaking his head, he brushed a stray hair from her face. "You need to sleep C.J."

"I know; I just want you to hold me. I'll sleep better knowing you're close."

Taking a deep breath, he nodded, sliding onto the couch next to her. Rearranging the blankets, he moved towards the back, lying down against the soft cushions.

Leaning towards the floor, C.J. picked up the pillow he had set down there earlier before lying down, her back against him. Sliding her right arm under the pillow, she felt his fingers grip hers as his other hand pulled the blanket and comforter over them, his other arm going over her side so his palm could rest flat against her stomach. Sighing contently, she snuggled back into him as her eyes drifted closed. "I love you Daniel Concannon."

He smiled, pressing a kiss against the back of her head before closing his eyes. "I love you too Claudia Jean Cregg."