Dear Readers,
These classified files have been stored away in the deepest filing door in Castle Oblivion for they reflect the inner most secret lives of all the Organization XIII members and how they interacted. For the sanity of the public, these files were hidden away so that they could never see the light of day. Well, it seems like some asshole broke into my damn office where the files were and publicly displayed them. It leaves me very pissed off. I found the bastard, got him arrested, which his name was Mr. Ass clown, heh heh,
JK. I forgot his name, but I don't care. OH! Anyway, since people already viewed these files, I will release the official version of CASTLE OBLIVION: CLASSIFIED FILES!
Sincerely,
Ansem the Wise
File one
The staff room
(crash)
Vexen: NO! NO NO NO! I did it last week! It's your turn!
Marluxia: NO! BUT VEXIE! THE DRY-ERASE BOARD SAYS IT'S YOUR TURN!
(Fight breaks out. Flowers and ice fly everywhere)
Axel: You guys! Castle Oblivion has a reputation to hold and that's to have the shiniest floors! Since Marluxia had a bad quota this week, he'll have to wax and clean all the floors! Do it now!
Marluxia: YOU SUCK! (points to Vexen) AND YOU SUCK (points to Axel)
Next time I'll be sure to leave twice the amount of used condoms in the Makeout Closet than I did this week.
Axel: GET A DAMN ROOM WHEN YOU AND LARX DO IT! WE KEEP FILES IN THAT CLOSET! I have no idea who the hell labeled that shitty place the "Makeout Closet" , but really!
(Marluxia storms out. Axel grabs and pixie cup and gulps down some water.)
Vexen: Ah…Axel. Isn't water like poison to you?
Axel: SHIT! SOMEBODY GET MY FIRE SHOTS!
(Vexen runs into secret room. Fills a metal cup with lava and gives it to Axel)
Axel: Man…That was a close one…
Vexen: I'm on duty in a minute. Don't you drink water again…
Axel: Yeah, yeah, old man. I can take care of myself.
(Vexen leaves.)
Axel: Some time to myself…..
(Larxene burst in drunk)
Axel: Spoke too soon…
Larxene: Hey…Where's my Marxy honey bunny…hic
Axel: He's on floor washing duty.
Larxene: Awww. Axel bunny, will you play with me till Marxy gets back…hic
Axel: Sorry. Not interested in girls with no boobs.
Larxene: What? You little fucker….hic…You are asking for it….(passes out)
(Axel places her on couch)
Axel: Stupid twat…
(Larxene wakes up)
Larxene: YOU! Don't fucking call me a twat….You are a twat…heh! (passes out again)
(Axel leaves her. Walks around the castle.)
Zexion: Hey Axel! The toilet on the fifth floor bathroom is overflowing!
Axel: Fuck off….
Zexion: That's it! You're going on my bad list!
(Axel continues to walk. Hears Marluxia crying.)
Marluxia: MY HAIR! MY HAIR IS CAUGHT IN THE POLISHER! AHHHAAAAWAAHHHHHH!
(Axel passes him.)
Marluxia: Hey. HEY! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!
Axel: Cut the damn act. We both know that your faking it so you can get off early!
Marluxia: FUCK! How'd you know? (continues to clean floor while whining.)
Axel: You are the worst actor in the world. THE WORLD!
Marluxia: My mother said that I could've made it to the big stage. THE BIG STAGE!
(cries while cleaning the floor.)
Axel: Go be emo somewhere else, pussy.
Marluxia: I hate you. I hate you! I HATE YOU!
(Axel leaves laughing. Goes up to next level to see secret door open.)
Axel: Shit…This must be Vexen's room…
(Axel creeps around corner to see Vexen at a computer. Vexen is in a chat room.)
Vexen: So…How old is this little kitten…hmmhmm.
Vexen: OH! A prime age of fourteen…very nice.
(Axel turns a sickly shade of blue.)
Vexen: Oh…you have a web cam…Will you let me see you?
(Web cam picture pops up)
Vexen: I want you…(licks screen.) So much! Ahhhhhh….
(Axel falls over. Making a large crash. Vexen stands up on chair in fright.)
Vexen: Axel…ah…Did you hear all of that?
Axel: (on floor.) Sadly, yes….
Vexen: Don't tell anyone…please.
Axel: Fine…As long as we don't get Dateline in here to bust you on TV.
Vexen: Deal!
(Axel runs out.)
Vexen: Back to what we were doing…
(Axel drinks from lave fountain.)
Axel: My GAWD! I knew Vexen was a pedophile.
Lexus: Who's a pedophile?
(Lexus towers over Axel. His lip quivers from the large shadow cast on him.)
Axel: Ah…Just like how that word rolls off the old tongue, ya know. Heh. GOTTA GO!
(runs and looks back.)
Axel: Looks like I lost him.
Lexus: No you didn't!
Axel: EEEEEKKKKKKKKKK! (falls on butt) How did you!
(Lexus points to feet.)
Lexus: Roller-skates! See ya! (rolls away.)
Axel: okay….
END, Till next time!