[Pre-Fanfic Joke]

Shikamaru is on one knee in front of Ino at his favorite napping spot.

"Ino, you're the sun and I'm the cloud. You can have anything I own because you bring me all the happiness I need."

"Oh, Shika...I'm convinced. I accept your proposal."

Suddenly, Shikamaru started to giggle.

"What's so funny, Shikamaru?" Ino asked.

"I never thought I would come up with something like that," Shikamaru explained. "I was actually trying this poem out for someone else..."

Ino glares at Shikamaru. "Are you saying that I'm your test subject?"

Shikamaru nods.

[A few seconds later...]

Shikamaru is walking towards Konoha Hospital, with a sore neck and a red hand-shaped mark on his face. "At least I know it works..."

When a Monkey Loves a Hyuga

A Team PikaFlash Fanfiction

Starring: Naruto and his fellow Shinobis as themselves.

"If you read only one fanfic this year, perhaps this isn't the one you should be reading."

Disclaimers: Naruto and related characters, locations and objects belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Anything else belongs to their respective owners.

"My name is Konohamaru Sarutobi, 17-years old, Honorable Grandson of the Third Hokage, Chunin of Konoha and a follower of Naruto Uzumaki, future Hokage of Konoha. My dream is to become the Hokage after Naruto. Currently, I've been dating a girl from the Hyuga clan named Hanabi for two years. But I have learnt that my two years with Hanabi has an unintended effect on my life..."

Ichiraku's Ramen makes the best Ramen in Konoha and Naruto makes it a major effort to prove it.

"I must do what?!" Konohamaru yelled. "I don't think two years is enough to bring my relationship to that point, Boss!"

Naruto nods. "I understand how you think, Konohamaru, but the way Hanabi's father is thinking is a completely different story. How did you think I was forced to get engaged to Hinata at the age of 17 after dating her for two years?"

Konohamaru calmed down. "Sorry, Boss. I just didn't expect that I would marry Hanabi after two years of dating. Besides, I'm not even eighteen yet."

"Well, from what Hinata told me according the traditions of the Hyuga Clan, a Shinobi who reaches his/her sixteenth birthday is considered to be an adult, so I don't think there will be much objection in you marrying Hanabi."

"I'm dead," said Konohamaru. "I haven't even been promoted to Jonin yet and I have to get married? What am I going to do?

Naruto finishes off his fifth bowl of Ramen. "I have an idea. Get Udon and Moegi and meet me at my house. Perhaps working in a group could help solve this problem..."

"I'm so embarrassed. It's not easy for me to say this...but you need someone as strong as me to take care of you and ensure your happiness. I cannot face the world if you say no..."

Konohamaru turned around to face Naruto, Udon and Moegi on the sofa. "Ok, how was that? Was it touching?"

Udon resisted the urge to throw-up while Moegi simply rolled her eyes. Naruto rubbed his chin. "I think you need something with a bit of class. Maybe we should ask Shikamaru. He's a bit of a ladies man, even if he doesn't admit it."

"Well, the worst thing that could happen to us is we all die," Konohamaru said. "If I refused Hiashi's request for me to ask for Hanabi's hand in marriage, he'll kill me, send me to the hospital to be revived before killing me again. You too, if I tell him that you had something to do with it."

Naruto frowned and looked at Udon. "Got a better idea, Udon?"

"Perhaps you can try proposing to her over the phone," Udon suggests.

Konohamaru nods and walks to the house phone.

"Well, I guess it's easier to propose over the phone." Konohamaru picks up the phone and dials a number. "Hanabi, I would like to get straight to the point." Konohamaru does his best to keep his voice from stuttering like Hanabi's sister.

"Will you...marry me?"

The voice at the other end of the line replied, "I'm sorry, we only sell Mallets and Fans..."

Konohamaru did a face fault.

[Udon's Plan: Fail!]

Moegi rolled her eyes. "Okay. I hear that there is a fun park in one of the nearby towns. You could take Hanabi there for a date. I hear that they have this awesome Roller Coaster you can ride on and knowing that you two are up for something exciting, you could propose to her sometime during or after the ride.

Konohamaru nods as he takes down a few notes. "I'll keep that in mind."

At that moment, Naruto's wife enters the living room. "I got a suggestion as well. Hanabi doesn't like to mention it, but she loves to watch Romance Movies by herself. Perhaps you can propose to her after taking her to a movie."

"Thanks, Hinata," Konohamaru said. "And I'm still open for more suggestions."

"In the worst case, you could propose to her during one of your dates at Ichiraku's Ramen," Naruto suggests. "I'm sure a filled stomach with tasty Ramen would give you the courage to propose to Hanabi."

Konohamaru stops writing. "Right...I'll be sure to remember that when it pops up."

The next day, Konohamaru takes Hanabi to the fun park in the next town. Konohamaru and Hanabi have got on the ride at the roller coaster. Halfway through the ride, Konohamaru decides to pop the question.

"Hanabi, I have something to ask you..."

Hanabi looked at her boyfriend. "Go ahead and ask..."

At that moment, the ride began to make a 90 Degree drop, causing the couple to scream for their lives as the ride went in a few loops, barrel rolls and a final corkscrew before reaching a smooth stop at the end of the ride. Konohamaru and Hanabi quickly stumble out of the car; doing everything they can to regain their sense of balance.

"You were going to ask something, Konohamaru?"

"What? Who? Where?"

[Moegi's Plan: Fail!]

Konohamaru and Hanabi arrived at the Movie Theater for a movie that Konohamaru has picked to watch.

Konohamaru mentally planned his next move. 'Alright, after this movie, I will propose to Hanabi.'

Once the movie has finished, Hanabi walked out of the theater in tears. "That was such a sad movie! This is why watch these sorts of movies alone, Konohamaru, so that you can't see me cry."

Konohamaru frowned at his latest failure. 'Next time, I will preview the movie first.'

[Hinata's Plan: Fail!]

Konohamaru orders his usual bowl(s) of Ramen while Hanabi went with only one bowl. "So, Konohamaru, don't you have something to ask me?"

Konohamaru smiled. "Don't worry, I'll ask after we finish eating."

After a while, Konohamaru is enjoying his bowl(s) of Ramen. Once Konohamaru has finished, Hanabi smiled. "Alright, what's your question?"

Konohamaru puts down his chopsticks and smiled. "Well, I wanted to ask you..." Konohamaru paused. He then rubs is stomach. "Man, I'm so full that I completely forgot the question."

[Naruto's Plan: Fail!]

Konohamaru is sitting next to a payphone. "I guess I can try Udon's suggestion again."

Konohamaru makes the call and gets an answer from Hanabi. "Hanabi, yeah. I would like to ask you. Will you..."

Suddenly, Konohamaru gets cut off as a hand grabs the receiver and hooks it back on the phone. The culprit is Ebisu, Konohamaru's former Sensei.

"Master Konohamaru, don't you have training to attend to?"

Konohamaru glares at Ebisu. 'Dammit! I was so close!'

[Udon's Plan Ver.B: Fail!]

A very depressed Konohamaru is sitting on a park bench. "What am I suppose to do? Every time I try something, things don't go the way they are meant to be."

"You're not trying hard enough." Naruto appears out of nowhere and grabbed Konohamaru by his long scarf. "Come on, Konohamaru. It's time for you to face your fears. We're going to pay a visit to the Hyugas."

"No!" screamed Konohamaru as he gets dragged away.

Naruto dragged Konohamaru all the way to the Hyuga Mansion...dining room.

Inside the dining room were Hanabi, Hinata and Hiashi waiting for their 'guests'. But right now, the dining room is not being used for a meal as Hiashi looks at Konohamaru and Naruto before nodding in approval.

"I brought him here as you requested," Naruto announced to Hiashi. He then looks at Hanabi. "Konohamaru has something important to ask you."

Konohamaru attempts to sneak away. "I'll be in the toilet if you need me."

The escape attempt was foiled as Naruto pulled Konohamaru's scarf, forcing Konohamaru down to his seat before Naruto sat at his own seat.

Konohamaru nervously smiled and looked at his girlfriend. "Hanabi Hyuga. It's been two years since we've started dating and I believe that perhaps that now may be the right time for me to say this." Konohamaru paused. "Hanabi, this is my question: Will you marry me?"

Hanabi smiled. "Konohamaru, I would love to marry..."

"OBJECTION!"

Everyone looked up to see Tenten entering the dining room with a couple of files. "Sorry, I've always wanted to do that."

Hiashi looked at Tenten. "Excuse me, but what is your explanation for objecting to my daughter's hand in marriage?"

Tenten stood next to Hiashi. "Right now, I do not think that now is the right time for Konohamaru and Hanabi to get married."

Hiashi stood up and pulls out a book from his sleeve. "But according to this Fortune Telling book, this is the right year for my youngest daughter and her boyfriend to get married.

"Don't rely on that book, Hiashi-sama or the Hyuga Clan will be doomed." Tenten puts down the two files and opens them for everyone to read. "As fortune telling is a hobby of mine, I've done my research on both Konohamaru and Hanabi, studying their facial features, palm readings and foot structure. Besides, Hiashi-sama's book is outdated since it was the same one used to bring Naruto and Hinata together." Tenten finished with a smirk.

Hanabi sends a furious glare at her father as Hiashi tries to secretly dispose of the offending book. "FATHER!"

Both Naruto and Hinata looked at each other, unsure of what their future might hold since Hiashi's outdated book was what got them married.

Konohamaru grinned with his arms around the back of his head. "At least I'm safe for now, thanks to this Fanfic's Sponsor: Arceus Ex Machina in the form of Tenten pretending to be Phoenix Wright." He then looks at the readers of this fanfic. "And thank you for reading this fanfic and have a nice day."

[End of Fanfic]

[New Fanfic Preview]

Tsunade: "Hi, I'm Tsunade Senju, the new Regional Manager of Hokage Delivery Services. The Delivery Business is quite simple."

"What do you expect, Tsunade?" Jiraiya retorts. "The transport industry is the lowest paid in Japan. That's what you get when your workers are getting paid peanuts."

---

Tsunade: "You, the Customer, phone our Call Center to tell us what goes where."

The phone rings and Anko answers the call. "Hello, Hokage Delivery Services?"

---

Deidara is at an art gallery in front of a clay sculpture.

"Ummmm, yeah, do you, ummmm, deliver artwork, ummmm?"

---

Tsunade: "Then, our dispatchers will assign a competent driver, who will deliver your package from A to B on time."

Shikamaru and Temari are in a van, with Shikamaru driving.

"Have you fallen asleep on the wheel again, you lazy bum? You're driving on the footpath!" Temari screamed.

"What? I thought we are driving on Expressway, aren't we?" Shikamaru ask.

Shikamaru's van is driving dangerously on the footpath, forcing pedestrians to jump out of the way.

---

Tsunade: "It sounds so simple. So why does Jiraiya's team keep screwing things up?"

Konohamaru continues to act like a furious monkey before throwing a barrel at Naruto.

[Hokage Delivery Services - Coming Soon]