"What Hurts The Most"He stared out into the dark street, green eyes dull and lifeless. Listening to the rain on the roof. It was the end of the summer holidays and all he could do was reflect.
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I pretend I'm OK but that's not what gets me
He thought back to the beginning of the summer when all he could do was cry. For days on end until Uncle Vernon forced him out to do yard work. Then he didn't have to think, to remember.
What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
When he did remember, it was pain. Night after night of watching him fall, of leaving after such little time. And it was all his fault. His mistake. His heartbreak.
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doing it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, living with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken
Being back in Grimmauld Place was torture. Reminders of the few good times. Ron, Hermione, and Ginny all asking "if I was ok?" Remus, a distressing reminder of the cost of my mistake. Every day wishing he was here.
What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
We only had a short time together. The first meeting was rushed, with discoveries and a growing sense of hope. A father figure, parental, loving, to take him away from the abuse. A missing link to old friends and parents.
I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I pretend I'm OK but that's not what gets me
Tomorrow was the time to get on the train to Hogwarts. Wishing you would be there to see me off. Pretending to the masses that don't really care, that I am ok. That I'm dealing.
What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
I wish we had more time. That I could tell you all the things I wanted to. To share all my feelings, my fears, my likes and dislikes. If only I had taken the time to make sure that you understood.
What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
I Love you.
When I heard this song (What Hurts The Most by Cascada on SkitzMix 29) it hit me to write this songfic. It wouldn't go away. So this is my first writing debut. Tell me what you think.