Joker had to figure that, eventually, one of their mad dashes to save the galaxy would coincide with Christmas. And that someone would, eventually, demand some kind of holiday party since there hadn't been a shore leave in forever and it might be their last one, anyway, if the Collectors had any say.

And so he stood in the corner with a Santa hat propped atop his normal one, sipping at a mug of eggnog. "You look pretty pissed," Shepard commented as she leaned against the wall beside him. She'd opted for hot chocolate, whipped cream and little marshmallows and all.

It was funny - he wouldn't have thought her the type.

Joker shrugged. "Just not my thing, I guess, but...hey. Free booze." He raised his cup and took a deep gulp. It was pretty foul, actually, but he took what he could get.

Laughing, she shook her head. "Fair enough. You try the hot chocolate, though? Gardner outdid himself. I think he could be a chef. A real one, I mean. But for some reason he likes ship life."

"Ugh, why would anyone like that? Poor bastard." It was harder than he'd have thought to keep a straight face.

She smiled, "The Normandy's hard to resist." As much as he agreed, and as much as he loved the ship himself, he thought that more people stuck around for her. He had.

"She's pretty sexy, ma'am." Laughing, she started to nod before something above his head caught her attention and she blinked, lowering her mug.

"...Well."

He followed her line of sight and nearly choked on his drink. "...It's - I mean, it's not actual mistletoe. It's a hunk of plastic, it's not even -"

Shepard stood on tiptoe, squinting at it. "...No, that's real. Huh. You have to admire their dedication."

Shit.

...Not that he'd mind it.

"...Come on. It'll be painless." ...Really? He couldn't think of a Hell worse than just getting to kiss her once. Well, maybe one when he didn't get to kiss her at all, but -

"Uh...sure, ma'am."

Leaning down, she planted a quick (too quick, but years would've been too quick) kiss on his mouth and pulled back with a smile. "See? Painless."

He felt like he was going to pass out. "Yeah - painless." She gave him a wink and then walked off to socialize, nursing her hot chocolate.

It occurred to him that she wouldn't have kissed him if she didn't want to, and he had to take a sip of eggnog to hide his grin.