Buckle up for a wild ride people. This is different than my usual Shandy fluff!

It is all about what ifs.

Takes place after Jane Doe #38. Sharon and Andy are an established couple, but she is still married to Jack and she still may or may not have feelings for him.

The first chapter is in 3rd person, the following two will be in 1st person.

So here goes nothing!

As usual I own nothing!

"Love is pain and pain is love."- Kelly Rowland

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"Selfish!" She screams at him, not able to believe he just said that.

"Yes, Sharon, you are fucking selfish!" He screamed pacing back and forth.

"How on Earth am I selfish?" She says staring at him, trying her hardest not to throw the nearest object in his direction.

"Really, Sharon?" "You have to ask?" He screams, as he stops and stares at her, with the most painful expression of hurt on his face.

"Yes, because I don't know what I've done that is selfish!" She screams, still staring at him.

"You gave Jack a choice, knowing full well, he still had feelings for you!" "You knew he would choose to adopt Rusty, over divorcing you! Damnit, Sharon, if I didn't know any better, I would say you wanted him to adopt Rusty, with you!" He screams plopping down on the bed, rubbing his forehead, looking at her.

The expression on her face gave credence to his assumption. "Are you fucking serious, Sharon?" He screams jumping up from the bed.

"What? I didn't say anything!" She replied, looking away from him.

"Did you forget, I can read you better than anyone? You face just told me what I wanted to know!" He says in low voice.

She turns around and faces the mirror, unable to face him.

"So, I am right, you wanted him to choose adoption! You are unbelievable Sharon!" He screams.

"I…I… I don't know what you want me to say!" She says turning around to face him, hugging her body.

"I want you to say it, Sharon!" "I need you to admit it! You still have feelings for that asshole, don't you?"

She starts pacing again and he walks over to her, and blocks her from walking, "Sharon I need an answer!" He says calmly.

"It's not that simple! I wanted him to sign the divorce papers. But a part of me wanted him to sign the adoption papers! I'm confused about this! On one hand I love you with all my heart, but on the other I feel like my marriage deserves one last shot!" She says watching the tears fall down his face.

"Damnit, Sharon! I knew you would do this!" He says turning away from her.

"How could you just lead me on like that?" He asks, as he starts pacing again.

"It was never my intent to do such a thing! It just happened!" She says hugging herself even tighter.

"Are you sure? Because that sure is hell what it seems like to me!" He sputters as he is trying to calm himself down.

"Yes, I'm sure! What kind of damn question is that? I never intended to hurt you! I still don't want to hurt you!" She says walking towards him.

"Well, guess what? You are hurting me! It feels like you have stuck a knife in my heart and turned it around and around, repeatedly!" He screams, refusing to control his emotions any longer.

"How dare you, accuse me of doing this on purpose! I love you Andy, but I also love him!" She breathes, almost ashamed of what she just admitted.

"See, that is the shit, I'm talking about! You can't say stuff like that and expect not to be hurt!" He says looking at her, hoping she will look at him. She looks up and their eyes meet.

"I'm not saying you can't be hurt! But…" She falters and looks away.

"But, what Sharon?" He asks, grabbing ahold of her arm.

"You knew what you signed up for, when you pursued me! I told you over and over again, that I was a married woman, separated nonetheless, but still married. You had to know there was a reason for me not filling for a divorce before. You knew there was a possibility of something like his happening!" She says as she jerks her arm out of his hand and walks away. She could see the sheer hurt on his face turn to unbelievable shock.

"Are you fucking serious?" He screams.

"So, you are going to blame me for this?" "No, this is your fault! You wanted your cake and eat it, too!" He screams walking out of her bedroom grabbing his keys.

She follows behind him, "I wanted you! I still want you! But I also may want him!" she says with tears staining her cheeks.

Leaning down to her ear he says, "Well, you know what? You can have him! I'm DONE!"

He turns and walks way and slams the door behind him, leaving her standing there alone, to realize the mistake she has made. All she can do is slide down the door and cup her face and let the tears stream, as she feels her heart break into a million little pieces.

TBC

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Tell me how you feel, about this one! It is different for me I know, but I had to give it a shot!