Chapter 1
Four years. It had been four years since she'd last seen the princess of the Fire Nation. Ty Lee hadn't spoken to her since that fateful day at the Boiling Rock when she had done one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do: defend one friend at the cost of another.
As hard as it was for some people to believe, she really did care for Azula. She loved her as any friend would. And the way their last summer together progressed, Ty Lee guessed it turned into the beginnings of a different kind of love. For herself at least. Despite all of the trials the two of them went through together, they shared a bond throughout most of their lives. Meeting in early childhood, attending the same school, playing games at the palace, they practically grew up together. And when Azula came calling after a few months' absence at the circus to demand that Ty Lee join her elite team, she was admittedly a bit excited. Well, after the initial terror of tottering above a flaming safety net.
She still was wary of the princess and the cruelty that always lurked beneath the calm exterior. And part of her knew that Azula's treatment of both herself and Mai was completely dark in terms of how friends should act. She was a princess, so demands and orders were expected. But sometimes she was downright mean, flaming safety net as one example. Not to mention the frequent insults at whatever flaws Azula found annoying at any given moment.
Even with the princess's abrasive personality, the months of constantly being together on the road brought Ty Lee and Azula close. Closer than they'd been as children. Closer than Ty Lee ever thought they would be. Mai was uninterested in anything the two of them did together. She was mainly still pining over Zuko from a distance, much to Azula's annoyance. Ty Lee did what she could to soothe Azula's moods, but the one thing that constantly calmed her was battle. In retrospect, this was another somewhat disconcerting characteristic.
Engaging the members of Team Avatar had been exhilarating and seeing the princess in action using her brilliant tactical mind and even more powerful bending was stunning. Her abilities really were no joke. Fighting on the same side as Azula filled Ty Lee with a sense of pride and confidence. And with their successes on the battlefield came progression in their relationship, if it could be called that. Ty Lee remembered their first stolen kisses in the tent while Mai was sleeping, gazing at Azula on the occasions they had to bathe in chilly streams, and later on, the rare moments at the end of the day when the princess allowed Ty Lee to remove her Kyoshi warrior make up or brush her soft black hair.
It was only after Azula's brilliant conquest of Ba Sing Se that they took a significant step together, Ty Lee remembered it well. She'd never seen Azula happy before, but her attitude following their successful coup was radiant. Her aura burned brighter than it ever had and while Mai and Zuko reunited on the ship taking the four of them back home, the two girls had taken full advantage of the privacy in Azula's own cabin. Mai returned later to find them sleeping in the same bed together, totally and completely unclothed. If she even noticed, the girl never made one comment about it to either of them.
Before Ty Lee could gently urge Azula to talk about what they might become, the unfortunate events of late that summer unfurled and Ty Lee knew she wouldn't be getting the princess back anytime soon. If at all. If she ever had her to begin with? It was so complicated.
Thinking of those memories made Ty Lee's heart ache and her mouth fell into a slight frown. Why couldn't everything have stayed the same? Suddenly the stark contrast between Azula's eyes that night of their intimacy and the utter shock in them at the Boiling Rock flashed into her mind. Why did Azula have to be—?
"Excuse me, Lady Ty Lee? I said we should be arriving shortly."
The guard's voice abruptly put an end to her reminiscing. Probably for the best.
"Oh, sorry! Thank you," she smiled at the guard leading her up a smoothly paved walkway to a foreboding black structure: the Fire Nation's mental institution, currently holding one terribly powerful woman.
Ty Lee felt her heart skip a beat as they neared the entrance. Four years. They were both nineteen now. The former acrobat couldn't help but wonder at how Azula had aged. After all, the years between fifteen and nineteen were quite significant in that respect. But it wasn't just the physical changes that piqued her curiosity; she worried for any lasting damage to Azula's mental health. Zuko had said she'd improved over the years, but he was her brother and tended to tread lightly on the topic of Azula. Her supposed progress was still a point of contention for most people.
She had of course heard stories of Azula's, ah, instability on the day of the comet. Descriptions ranged from the princess harnessing the comet's power in unimaginable ways, to a glaring haircut and mad cackling, far from her usual poise and clarity. Unfortunately, the latter accounts were proven to be accurate, if Azula's current whereabouts were anything to go by. Ty Lee, then imprisoned at the Boiling Rock by the princess herself, was glad she hadn't seen the meltdown. Even now, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt, thinking she pulled one of the first strings that caused Azula's eventual unraveling.
No. She shook her head to clear it. No, I didn't do anything wrong that day. Azula was about to do something terrible and I had to stop her. I did what I had to do and I don't regret it. I can't regret it.
The guard escorting her halted their progress at the first gate that surrounded the building. She turned her head to stare at the glowering structure in front of her. Now that she was closer, she saw that it reflected the dying light of day oddly. It gleamed at her from all angles. Shivering, Ty Lee couldn't help but think that it was a preview of what was to come. Only it would be a gold gleam, not this metallic dark gray.
"It's all metal, you know. They stopped using stone because some of the more unstable patients were able to crack the walls after a while. Fewer can penetrate the metal. It's better protection for everyone. More secure," The guard led her through the initial security gate and was watching her considering the building.
Of course, Toph probably set that change of material in motion. She was still the only one who could instantly metalbend, but Ty Lee was sure that the recruits the blind girl was training as a police force would soon acquire that skill.
Ty Lee offered a soft "mmhm" as a response. She wasn't feeling particularly talkative.
They continued their walk past the outer wrought iron gate towards a thick metal wall. Another one? Ty Lee wondered if all of this security was present before Azula was admitted as a patient here. For simply a mental hospital, it seemed far too extensive.
They cleared the next security check after her escort spoke with another couple guards and arrived at the main door within another minute. Two more guards were posted at each side of the entrance and a handful patrolled the perimeter of the building. As the doors were opened for them, Ty Lee thought the building itself looked just as sturdy as the inner gates. The metal must have been a good foot thick, except for the tiny regularly spaced windows. Complete with bars. It was a dismal sight from the outside; Ty Lee hoped the inside wasn't nearly as hopeless. She didn't think that kind of décor, or lack thereof, would be helpful in rehabilitating whatever patients stayed here.
Finally inside, they approached a front desk, where they were directed to an office just down the hall. Ty Lee was to speak with Azula's doctor before visiting. She looked around and was pleased to see that the interior was at least well-lit and carpeted. The metal walls left something to be desired, having only a few sparse paintings and scrolls occupying them, though she wasn't sure a gaudy paint or wallpaper would help much. One staff member was walking towards them with a cart full of empty food trays. Dinner must have just been served.
Her guard gently rapped on the frosty glass panel of the doctor's door. A clearly weary voice responded to come in.
"Doctor, Lady Ty Lee is here to see you about Azula." He turned to face her, "I'll wait outside and we'll continue to her quarters after your briefing."
The doctor was a middle-aged man with thick, immensely well groomed, dark gray hair. He sat behind a desk and rubbed his eyes, "Of course, Ty Lee, welcome and have a seat. My name is Kai Liu. I trust Fire Lord Zuko has been giving you information regarding his sister?"
"Bits and pieces. He says she's been improving lately and that's all I really know."
Dr. Liu's eyebrow wrinkled slightly as he leaned over to pull out a thick file from one of his desk's drawers.
"Her improvements are really a matter of timing and perspective. Over the course of her entire stay here, yes I would say she has improved drastically. Unfortunately she has taken a different direction these past few weeks."
Ty Lee did not want to hear that, especially right before she was supposed to see Azula.
"Different? How?"
Dr. Liu started flipping through what was clearly Azula's file. Even her file is grander than everyone else's.
"She's been refusing her food again and I'm afraid her physical condition has deteriorated because of this. Though she hasn't lost a whit of her intelligence and remains sharp. Often in quite a biting way, as I'm sure you know. But, she still sometimes sees certain people who aren't really there. Not confrontationally, which we see as improvement. Usually we just hear her speaking quietly to her father or mother. And rarely, to you."
"Me, what about?" Ty Lee was feeling less and less confident about this meeting.
The doctor pinched the bridge of his long nose and looked right into Ty Lee's eyes with his own weathered brown pair.
"That's why I wanted to arrange this meeting before you met with her. Her remarks regarding you are not pleasant. She says quite insulting things about what she sees as your betrayal. I don't pretend to know everything that happened that day, mostly because Azula is not one for sharing, but it seems to have affected her deeply. These hallucinations don't happen often anymore but when they do, whether her words are directed at you or her mother, we sometimes have to restrain or sedate her. Otherwise she'll only do harm to herself. You should also know that we house her in the lowest basement level, it has the capability to be cooled and helps suppress her bending ability."
Ty Lee sat in disbelieving silence at the chair opposite the doctor's desk. Still? It's been four years and Azula still feels those wounds as if they were inflicted yesterday. And now the princess seemed to group her betrayal with Ursa's past neglect. That wasn't good. That was really not good.
"Zuko made it sound like she was getting way better. How could she still have these… episodes?"
"She has made progress. Like I said, those moods have become infrequent. But we know the events that cause them have wound themselves deep into her subconscious. Though sometimes she is affected more by these hallucinations, Azula still retains her intelligence. From her past, we know she enjoys manipulation. I suspect she is leading us on to believe she is progressing because that's what we'd like to hear, when in reality she still feels as betrayed as she did when her mother and brother left, when you protected another friend instead of her, and when her father discarded her. Until she faces these obstacles instead of blocking them out, she won't actually make that progress and will continue to hallucinate."
He paused to take in Ty Lee's reaction before continuing. She was staring at her lap, twirling the end of her long braid in her fingers.
"Azula needs a purpose. I believe she feels useless here and that may be hindering her progress as well. The Fire Lord has clearly directed us to keep her isolated for constant monitoring, as she is still a perceived threat internationally. And we must respect his wishes. Unfortunately, she rarely gets visitors and so I feel I must warn you: Do not be alarmed by her appearance, we had her restrained today as a precaution. Do not be surprised if she yells or is angry with you. She has been repressing her emotions from the Boiling Rock all this time and I think she will lash out at your first real visit. Most importantly," Doctor Liu looked pointedly at Ty Lee until she raised her head to meet his gaze.
"Do not fall prey to her manipulations."
Ty Lee left the office deep in thought and reunited with the guard. They walked back down the long main hallway, and turned left to descend to the basement levels of the building. She was unsettled by the doctor's warnings. Would Azula really rage at her as if the Boiling Rock incident had just happened? Ty Lee was visiting her for a second chance at rebuilding their friendship. She didn't want to lose her forever, but… These new revelations put a serious damper on attempting to maintain any semblance of a relationship with her.
Five… six floors down. The doctor was not kidding, they housed Azula far underground. And it certainly was cold; Ty Lee could just make out the sight of her own breath fogging in the air before her. She quickly noticed that the staff clearly took less care in maintaining a cheery atmosphere here than they did on the upper floors. No traces of carpet, bare metal was exposed from floor to ceiling and a few dim lights cast eerie shadows on every surface. Ty Lee had the odd feeling that she was walking along the hull of a Fire Navy ship. It was not a comforting thought.
The guard stopped in front of a large door at the middle of the hallway.
"Here we are," He put a key in the lock and swung the door outwards into the hall. A small, but not entirely unpleasant room was revealed. Ty Lee saw that immediately inside the door on the left and right hand sides were two more guards.
She entered and found that the room was divided into two chambers. The first was the one she and the guards were in, a guest area, she supposed. There were two black metal chairs, a couch, and a small side table against the door-side wall under a dim recessed light in the ceiling. There was also a tiny bathroom, complete with a tiny bathtub, that Ty Lee was saddened to find had no door at all. Privacy was nonexistent. Thick iron bars and another locked door separated this area from the other, occupied only by one person.
Azula was lying on a red sheeted bed at the back left corner of her cell, wrapped tightly in some kind of blanket, her back to the door. Other than the bed, the only item in Azula's immediate area was an untouched food tray. It was quite difficult to see with the limited light, but her black hair was longer than Ty Lee remembered it, but she happily noticed it didn't look terribly unkempt. At least she was taking an interest in personal grooming. Azula didn't even flinch as they entered the room. The slight rise and fall of her shoulders was the only sign that she was even alive.
The guards made no motion to leave Ty Lee unsupervised with their patient. She did her best to ignore them and walked up to the bars dividing the room, taking a few deep breaths to calm the butterflies flitting around in her stomach before calling out brightly to the resting girl.
"Hi Azula, it's Ty Lee. I know it's been… a long time since we've seen each other, but I really wanted to make sure you were okay and—"
The huddled form of the girl began silently shaking. Is she crying? I didn't make her cry, right?
A blast of curt laughter erupted from Azula's mouth and Ty Lee finally heard the silky smooth voice she didn't realize she was craving to hear.
"Back so soon? I just sent you away from here. I didn't need you then and I don't need you now."
Oh spirits, she doesn't think I'm real. Ty Lee was unsure of how to proceed. She didn't want to encourage that she was an illusion by speaking, but she couldn't just stay silent and stare at Azula's back for an hour. Well, she probably could do that, her eyes were glued to the woman. Ty Lee felt her stomach flip.
A nasty part of her wanted to get a rise out of Azula, just to assess the damage that needed repair concerning their relationship. She quickly squashed that desire.
"Azula, it's… I'm not just in your head. I'm really here."
"Yes of course, you're all so perfectly real. Now if you could kindly leave me, I'm just so busy at the moment and I can't stand the sound of you."
Ty Lee was surprised; her words weren't as insulting as the doctor predicted. She was expecting a tirade of volcanic proportions, but she was twistedly charmed to hear the tiny digs at her again after so long. The only problem now was how to convince Azula that she was real? Ty Lee stood for several moments, tapping her lips with a finger until she reached a decision. The guards. I'll chat them up, hallucination Ty Lee can't get responses out of other real people.
She turned to the guard who had escorted her all the way from the docks and smiled, "Thanks for bringing me here today. I feel awful, it was such a long walk and I never even asked your name!"
The man bowed while keeping the door ajar, removed his helmet, and blushed immediately as his eyes quickly flicked to Ty Lee and then to the other two guards, standing obviously jealous in the wings.
"Oh, it was my pleasure! And, uh, my name is Niko."
"Niko," insert a standard giggle, "well I'll be sure to ask for you the next time I come here," add a wink for good measure…
He laughed nervously as his blush deepened, "Y-yes, anytime. I'll be here. Because I work here." He looked mortified at what blurted out of his mouth, as the other guards shook with stifled laughter. Ty Lee supposed he was sort of cute. Light Fire Nation features with dark eyes and hair drawn up into a short ponytail.
Ty Lee maintained her smile, but turned immediately to the cell as she heard the weight in the bed shift. She missed the silent air-fives the guards gave Niko, but it didn't matter. Azula was sitting up, her face half-turned towards them.
The light from the ceiling in the guest area barely reached the back corner where Azula's bed was, so she was still mostly hidden in shadow. Ty Lee edged closer to the bars and spoke softly.
"It really is me. I've wanted to see you for a while now."
Azula jerked up out of her bed and moved towards the bars, her bare feet silent on the cold metal floor. Finally illuminated in the dim light, Ty Lee couldn't hide the look of surprise on her face.
Azula was not wrapped in a blanket, it was a straightjacket. Her arms were held tightly across the front of her body, as if she were hugging herself. The straps and buckles around it accentuated her shockingly thin frame. So these are the restraints Dr. Liu mentioned. It certainly did not help Azula look any less intimidating. Even with her arms fully immobilized and the chilly temperature of the room, Ty Lee stepped back from the bars. No chances would be taken.
After the initial shock of seeing the Fire Nation Princess in a straightjacket, Ty Lee got a better look at her. Azula's face was markedly thinner than she remembered it, cheekbones pronounced and chin more pointed than in her early teenage years. Dark shadows pooled beneath her eyes and a sad thought came unbidden into Ty Lee's head. She's probably having nightmares. And she did look frail. Even beneath the jacket, Ty Lee could tell that muscles had deteriorated from lack of use. Her simple dark red shift fell just above her calves, revealing stick thin legs.
But Ty Lee was annoyed, in an ex- girlfriend sort of way, to find that Azula was still regally beautiful. Her eyes were not clouded with insanity; they were bright, albeit framed by weary dark circles. And they were the same molten shade of gold that Ty Lee envied. Her hair was long, nearly reaching her waist in a lustrous black curtain. The pieces that normally framed her face had grown out, or at least Ty Lee thought they had. With her hair down it was hard to tell. The princess carried herself with her old practiced poise and grace, exuding an imposing presence even in the straightjacket. As Azula reached the bars, Ty Lee also noticed she'd grown taller.
There was something unusual about her appearance though, Ty Lee couldn't quite place it at first but then it dawned on her. No makeup. Her lips weren't painted red and her eyes had no black bordering them. It made her look impossibly young, innocent even. Ty Lee snorted inwardly at that last absurd thought. After another moment, Ty Lee noticed an angry red burn starting to blister on Azula's neck and a deep purple bruise peeked out just below her left knee. Self-inflicted or did she have to be subdued? Before Ty Lee could think any more, Azula cut through the silence in a dangerous voice.
"Get out of here," she looked at Ty Lee unblinkingly, face devoid of emotion. Her eyes flashed, the only warning of what was to come if the woman did not obey.
The woman did not obey.
"No. Azula, I came here to talk to y—"
"I said get out of here. Now, traitor." Azula's voice was curt. So she really did still harbor ill feelings about that day so long ago.
"Please, just listen to me. I want to try. I want to make things better between us."
Azula bared her teeth before any sense of restraint was lost completely. She couldn't grip the bars in front of her to emphasize her words because of the jacket, so she struck her head on them instead.
"GET OUT OF HERE! NOW! LEAVE, YOU TRAITOROUS CIRCUS BRAT!"
Ty Lee stared wide eyed at Azula. How on earth did she think she could mend this so easily? Had she really expected Azula to calmly listen to the person who literally stabbed her in the back? These feelings had stewed inside of the princess for years. She should have expected it, but still her eyes grew teary as Azula kept yelling and striking her head on the bars. A cut opened on her forehead, unleashing a stream of blood down her face. Her voice grew hoarser with every insult she spat out until Ty Lee turned horrified towards the door as the inner guards rushed towards Azula.
She let Niko, ponytail jutting out of the back of his helmet, lead her out of the room before glancing over her shoulder at the still shouting girl. As he shut the door, Ty Lee could have sworn she saw a grin break out over Azula's bloody face, just before one of the guards stuck a syringe into her thigh.