Me: Happy Halloween! (And hello to any international readers {International to me. From my standpoint in the U.S.} Hello to "American" {Because Canadians are American too. Technically} readers as well. Hello to all readers!)

Spock: I still fail to comprehend as to why humans feel the need to dress up in order to collect candy.

Me: We also love to freak people out and scare small children. (By the way, if you do this: APOLOGIZE AND GIVE SAID CHILD A PIECE OF {UNWRAPPED} CANDY!)

Spock: Why don't we bring our guest out for the disclaimer, and you can explain…more.

Me: Okay. Come on out, AVPM/S!Snape!

AVPM/S!Snape: Laveycee—the inarticulate bubble that she is—has decided that she will have me say this: she doesn't own Harry Potter. 10 points from Gryffindor for not owning him and for not killing him off.

Me: Oh, Snape, can't you be nice for ten minutes? Less than that—ten seconds?!

AVPM!Snape: No, I can't. By the by: *gives Laveycee bomb-wich* *runs off*

Me: Oh, look at that, Spock! AVPM!Snape gave me a delicious sandwich!

Spock: That's a bomb.

Me: No, but it does look…

Spock: Ticking?

Me: No—licking! Finger licking good!

Spock: *grabs bomb-wich* *throws bomb-wich away*

Bomb-wich: *explodes*

Me: You doggone exploded my sandwich!

Spock: …I believe that AVPM!Snape tried to kill you.

Me: …Why do I suddenly have déjà vu?

Spock: We somehow managed to almost entirely repeat a scene from AVPM. Fascinating.

Me: …On with the story? *smiles* Ooh, and: rating for character death. Shouldn't be disturbing. Don't like, don't read, please no flames.

It's that day again. It's not fair.

It's the most awful day of my life, and… it's a celebration. Muggles and wizards alike love this day…except for me, my family, and those who knew and liked my parents…and those with a heart.

So it's fitting, in a sadistic way, that I die today.

Yes, I, Harry James Potter, husband of Ginny Molly Weasley Potter, father of Lily Luna, Albus Severus, and James Sirius, will die today.

Oddly enough, I accept it. Most of my friends—and family—are dead now. Molly and Arthur have been for years. I've known that I was dying for a while now.

After all, I am over 200 years old. So…it's time for me to pass on the torch. To finally lay down my arms—to finally rest. I will greet Death—I'm not afraid. (And the Elder Wand's power will finally be broken. That's good too.)

HARRY POTTER DIES

Harry James Potter, defeater of the dark wizard Lord Voldemort, succumbed to an illness today at midnight…

Me: Reviews are lovely. They give me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. I like the warm fuzzies….

Sorting Hat: I'm Team Dumbledore!

Me: Go Sorting Hat! Sorry, watching A Very Potter Sequel.

Spock: She's obsessed.

Me: Am not.

Spock: Are too.

Me: Am not.

Spock: Are too.

Me: Am—you know what? I refuse to continue arguing with a bubble like you.

Spock: I'm a…bubble?

Me: Yes. Come on, I'll explain…

Sorting Hat: GO TEAM DUMBLEDORE! REVIEW!

All: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Me: And to all people on the East Coast: Our prayers and thoughts are with you.