Disclaimer: I claim no ownership... dammit. Notes: Title pretty much sums it up. It's from this beautiful Def Leppard song of the same title. What makes it beautiful? The fact they are singing about someone they love, want, and need desperately - and not just for sex - but cannot have. Hence the inspiration.

----------------------------------

It was driving Drake crazy. Every day for nearly a month, Josh was running to the mailbox, bumping anyone in his way. After a while everyone gave up, but Drake couldn't let go.

Per his usual routine, when whatever he was waiting for hadn't arrived, he lay the mail on the table and went straight to the room he and Drake share.

"Doesn't this..." Drake started, and then bit his lip. When no one responded, he ran for their room, only to find he had been locked out.

"Josh?!"

Nothing.

"Josh! Open up! It's my room..."

"What are you doing?" Megan had snuck up on him.

"Josh locked the door and he's not answering..."

"Eew." She shuttered.

"Eew?"

"Yeah, usually when a teenage boy locks himself up... eew."

Drake thought for a moment; that should have disgusted him, the thought of Josh... but... he shook it off.

"I'm out of here." She declared.

"Wait!"

"What?"

"Can you get me in?" He asked sheepishly. The thought of Megan being able to crack into anything frightened him, but his curiosity was getting the better of him. He wasn't kidding when he told Josh he worried about him. Without a word, she marched to the bathroom and came back with a simple hair pin.

Drake tried to get a closer look, when she nudged him back, "A magician never gives away their secret!"

After a few seconds the lock clicked. Megan took off for fear of what may be beyond the once locked door.

Drake slowly made his way in and lightly shut the door.

Josh was sprawled on the couch, flipping the phone around.

"Josh?"

"Yeah?" He answered so softly, it was almost inaudible.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Could have fooled..."

"Look, if I didn't get accepted, I didn't get accepted!" He burst, almost in tears.

Drake flinched back, "Accepted? This is about a school?! Are you crazy?! You can get into any..."

"This isn't about a school."

"What?!"

Josh took Drake by the arm and sat him down, though he himself continued to pace.

"Don't tell mom and dad... not yet anyway..."

"Ok..."

"I didn't apply to a school."

"Are you kidding? Then what?"

"It's this program... Mindy and I... I just got off the phone with her and she already got accepted and I..."

"Mindy? Mindy talked you into not applying to school?!"

"No. I talked myself into it. I want this program so bad, I didn't think about a school. Now if I don't get in, I'm out of luck at least for another year."

Drake sat up in disbelief. This didn't sound like his 'all-together-so-sure-of-his-future' brother, "So what kind of program is this it's so important

Josh took a breath and calmed down enough to sit. With another quick breath, he began to explain, "I'd be gone a year... maybe two..." Was all Drake got out of what became almost an hour of 'good will', and 'traveling across'...

"Africa?!" Drake stood to walk off what had to have been the hardest news he'd ever have to take in. "Africa?!" Was all he could say.

"And Asia..."

"Josh?!" He cried, "A year?! Two?!" Before he could catch himself, he was in full blown tear mode, "Asia?!"

"What is wrong with you?!" Josh asked, half laughing/concerned, "I expect this from mom... even dad, but you?!" He attempted a hug, when he found himself pushed away, "Drake..."

"You... y-you... don't..." He sobbed, falling back into the couch.

"You're scaring me." Josh said, getting very serious.

"At least with school," He sobbed into the cushions, then came up for air to finish, "you'd be coming home for breaks and holidays!" This was not the reaction Josh had expected.

"You know, I really thought you'd be happy. You'd be getting your room back..."

"Our room." Drake's voice cracked."Fine. But I also thought maybe you'd be happy for me. I'll be out doing some good for this world..."

"Yeah," Drake got up and into Josh's face, "a million miles away, no way of coming home..."

Josh let a sarcastic little laugh and started out the door, Drake close behind. But he was not leaving before giving Drake something to think about. He turned to find Drake still in his face. "I forget sometimes who I'm talking to." He said, waiting for any kind of reaction. When he got none, he shut the door before Drake could follow him out.