Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing, and I honestly have no desire to.

Warning: Mentions of Yaoi, if you don't like I suggest you find another fandom. Cause Trowa and Quatre are so meant to be. 2x5. Also 1x? I don't even know, he likes to keep himself to himself that one, but I doubt it's Relena.

Heero: What makes you so sure?

Reecey-Boy: .:blink blink:. You mean it is Relena?

Heero: ... No

Reecey-Boy: All I know is that it's a girl. But any way, enjoy.

Conditional Clauses

Like Pratchett said, everybody has their conditional clause, the one thing that will excuse them from their own morality.

Predictably, Duo's was 'Touch my hair and DIE!'

Wufei's was 'Touch Nataku and DIE!' It wasn't entirely surprising when those two got together. Now their conditional clauses amount to 'Touch my husband or my hair and DIE!"

Duo was definitely an influence on Wufei.

Trowa's was less obvious; because he rarely talks it took ages to find out. Eventually I discovered what it was when he was in the middle of one of his monologues…

"This must be done; there is no other way-"

BOOM! A group of enemy mobile suits attacked.

"Right! That's IT!" He swiftly destroyed them in a fit of rage.

It was that day we learned never to interrupt Trowa when he was talking, he's worse than Quatre on the Zero system.

Speaking of Q, his conditional clause was rather surprising. It wasn't his sisters, nor the Maguanacs, not even his mobile suit or violin. It was… let me put it this way, woe betide the poor fool who insults his love of wrestling.

And me?

That's easy, but I was completely surprised when I found out what it was myself. I didn't realise I was upholding a conditional clause; I thought it was a weakness. Something I wasn't allowed to have, because I was the perfect soldier.

I'm not anymore, I'm a poet now. Yes, a poet, hard to believe isn't it?

My conditional clause 'talked' me into it, and I use that phrase lightly…

"I've had enough of this! What's wrong?"

"Hn," I never wasted words on something as trivial as my feelings.

She glared at me.

"Fine, I know you don't want to waste your breath. So write down how you feel in a poem, if you don't; I'll make your life a living hell."

Not a very romantic beginning, but a beginning it was. She told me it was good and I should write more, I did so and the rest is history.

I suppose I should mention that my conditional clause is my wife. Nobody is allowed to kill her but me, and no one is allowed to kill me but her.

But I would never ask her to kill me, and I know she would never ask me to kill her.

It took us both a long time to realise that this was love.

The End

Reecey-Boy: Seriously Heero, who is it? I sent this to Wufie-the-backside-slayer and she asked me who it was.

Heero: I'm not telling you. If I do, I'll have to kill you.

Reecey-Boy: O.O

Heero: But it is not Relena, you want proof? 'she would never ask me to kill her.'

Reecey-Boy: Okay, I'm convinced. Please be nice and review!

Heero: If you don't, I'll have to kill you.

Reecey-Boy: Stop threatening my readers!