Authors: Bleu and pokeitlikejello

Disclaimer: We don't own House M.D. Don't sue us.

Author's Note: This was written in less than twenty minutes because everyone knows the less time you spend on a fic, the better; the hotter. This a quintessential bad fic. With all your bad fic needs. Bad grammar, bad smut, un-beta'ed, completely messed up time line. Everything you can imagine and written as a result of reading a lot of bad fic this afternoon when we were hyper. Enjoy!

Lisa Cuddy anxiously awaiting in her family's home, dressed to the nines, stood next to her front door. She lifted herself on to her very tip toes as she peeked through the glass pane of the door. It was prom night, of course, and she was waiting for this day ever since she put on her mother's high heeled shoes and pearls. Normal girls dreamed of wedding days, but for Lisa Cuddy, it was prom that held her heart.

"Oh, Lisa, you look so wonderful!" Ruth Cuddy exclaimed as she walked down the stairs into the foyer.

"Oh, Mom, geez, stop." Lisa rolled eyes and frowned at her mothers. Mothers could be that way.

"Princess, honey, let me snap a picture of you for your ol' man," Schmuel Cuddy spoke up as her walked in from the living room.

The camera flashed and Lisa could feel her excitement rise. After all, this was prom. The doorbell promptly rang; as if on cue by the flash. Lisa let out a squeal of delight as she threw open the front door.

Toby, a real hunk with a sexy mullet, stood in a light powder blue suit, holding corsage. Lisa tugged him into the foyer and smiled at her father. Schmuel quickly snapped a photo as Toby placed the corsage on Lisa's dress. As Toby's hand grazed her left breast, Lisa knew that today would be the day she would lose her virginity.

Once at the dance, Lisa found herself in a dilmemma. Her prom was sucking real bad and Toby had left her for this bitch named Allison Cameron. Lisa had hated Allison ever since second grade and she had now her stole man.

Lisa stood alone by the spiked punch, cursing the terrible events of her dream prom.

"Hey, there, sexy."

A deep voice spoke up from behind Lisa, making her jump and spill her pink punch down her white dress. The tears began as Lisa looked down at the insulting stain. She spun in the direction of the voice and glowered at the tall, dark, and handsome man with a boyish face and a cane standing behind her.

"Sorry." he apologized in a deep voice.

"What happened to your leg?" Lisa's eyes fell onto the strong wooden cane clutched within his hand. She felt very tipsy and it was nice to have some company.

"Soccer accident," he replied. "I'm Greg, by the way. And you are?"

"Lisa." she suddenly felt very timid, but he seemed nice.

"Look, I feel bad," Greg said. "Let's get cleaned up."

Lisa chugged the rest of the punch that wasn't spilled on her dress and threw caution to the wind as she followed this dark and mysterious, limping god. He offered to help her get clean, but she had a feeling they were going to be dirty.

Minutes later, they were both naked in bathroom; Lisa pressed herself against Greg's hard cock.

"Oh, Lisa, you're so beautiful." Greg said as he caressed her huge breasts. "I've been waiting to be alone with you ever since you were five and I was twenty."

Lisa pushed him sharply away and stared at him; overcome with confusion. "But, wait, Greg, we're the same age in this fic."

"Oh right." Greg replied and thrust his manhood inside of her.

It wasn't a problem for the two of them to stand even though Greg had a terrible ass limp. The sex miraculously fixed that, especially since it was her first time; as it was his.

He continued to thrust into her and Lisa let out a quick squeak; much like a field mouse that got stepped on with one of her high heels. They reached a blinding climax at the same time, which often happens in real life, and always thirty second after beginning to have sex.

"Oh, God, Greg, that was wonderful," Cuddy whispered to him, "I think I love you."

"I love you, too," Greg whispered back. "You're the only person that I can ever be myself with. But, it's a secret because I have to hate what I love."

At that moment, Jimmy Wilson entered into the bathroom and stood frozen as he saw his abusive best friend naked with Lisa Cuddy. House pushed Lisa away and quickly pulled up his pants, covering his cock. Lisa let out a cry and pulled her dress on.

"What are doing?" Jimmy demanded, almost in tears.

Lisa flew past him, covering her enormous breasts with her stained dress, her high heels the only sound as she disappeared from sight.

Several hours later, once the prom concluded, and Greg and Jimmy were sufficiently drunk, they sat in Greg's mustang car on the make out spot of Princeton-Plainsboro; they passed a bottom of gin and vodka back and forth between them.

"But, I'm the true love of your life, Greg!" Jimmy shouted, his anger rising and face flushed in furry; tears streaming down his gentle and bambi like face.

"Then, let's fuck right here and prove it!" Greg shouted back.

"But, you hurt me when you fucked that Lisa bitch!" Jimmy told him and yanked a piece of broken glass from his pocket. "I'll slit my wrists right here because you don't love me, Gregory. All I do is look out for you and all I've ever done was love you! And this is how you always treat me! Stacy was right! I want to die!"

"Lisa means nothing! I hate her." Greg was getting just as upset, his true feelings for Jimmy coming out, exposing him for the softie he really was. "I want to be with you, Jimmy, forever. Screw Stacy, Allison, and Lisa. Fuck women. Let's just be us and be happy!"

"Oh, I love you, Greg!" Wilson threw the shard of glass from the car. "Let's fucking do it. I want your cock so bad."

"And I love you, Jimmy."

The End.