The Dream of Two Girls
I open my eyes, finally awakening from a restless slumber. I turn my head and look at the girl that lays right beside me. She has a beautiful face and, as I experienced last night, a hella gorgeous body. Her strawberry-blonde hair with that cool blue-dyed streak, her I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude paired with a caring character, and her punky attire completes her perfectness. She used to be a loner…well, now we're two.
Two girls who just want to leave this fucking shithole of a town called Arcadia Bay. Nothing is holding us here and we almost made the break, but…fate had other plans. We stayed and got stuck. Stuck with our families; in our homes. But we're still planning our leave, each and every day. It's fun and I hope it will become more than just a teenage-dream.
But last night gave me more than just confidence that our dream; the dream of two girls; is about to come true. Last night Chloe and I became one. We opened up. Shared everything. Our dreams, hopes, fears, secrets, desires and eventually, our bodies.
It was magical! Like after a play. Like after…The Tempest. The more I think about, the more I realize that actually Chloe is Prospera and I'm just Ariel, her loyal servant. Because she's finally gonna free me from these shackles that bind me to my, hopefully former, life of lies and pretentiousness.
No more acting, no more rules, no more lying! Just the two of us and the open road.
I open my eyes, my head aches and I feel dizzy. I look at the person that lays beside me. His blonde hair is messy from last night and I can see all the tattoos, which are leading from his neck down to his chest and beyond. I know it, I've…seen it.
Frank Bowers. Bad boy, savior, drug dealer, and since last night I can add 'good lover' to the list.
I smile. For a short moment. It's not fake, like most of my smiles are, lately. It's real, but it falters in an instant as realization struck me. Realization that I betrayed my only real friend. I cheated on Chloe.
From my point of view, we never were exclusive. I know it, she should've, too. We never made our relationship…or the thing that we have…had…public. I never wanted to. She confessed her love for me a few times but I…I never did. Why? I don't know. There was something between us. But was it love? I don't know either. But whatever it was, it's gone now…or is it? So, why am I still feeling guilty about what I've done?
For the last months my relationship with Chloe has changed; it wasn't the same anymore. Our roles had changed again. Once more I became Prospera and Chloe turned into Ariel, the servant ghost who's unable to leave this island of shit that's called Arcadia Bay. But not because of her mom or the lack of money, no. It's the past that binds her here. Yes, she's stuck in the past because of her ex-bestie Max Caulfield.
Max. Every time I hear this fucking name I wanna scream! This fucked up asshole bailed on Chloe for almost 4 years now, without giving her any life sign. Nothing! But still, Chloe talks about her as if she's about to appear from thin air any moment now with a good explanation and a sweet smile on her lips. She really hopes that everything's gonna be fine again; like in the good ol' days. Reality-check, Chloe: it won't!
I tried to reason with her; tried to tell her that Max had probably moved on and would never return. This was our first, big fight, which ended with slamming doors and shed tears. From this day on I tried to avoid this topic; tried to distract Chloe, but…Arcadia Bay is a bunch of childhood memories for her. Every corner reminds her of something she did with Max. Max here, Max there, Max everywhere! At that time I knew only one thing: we need to leave this town as fast as possible! Again, I tried to reason with Chloe, and again it turned into a fight.
A few weeks ago I found her dairy and…I read it. A big mistake. She writes letters to Max. Letters she will never send, but still. She's obsessed with this girl! And at this moment I even asked myself if she's fantasizing about her while we're doing it.
I needed to know if I was just a compensation for Max, that's why I confronted her and what happened then was just indescribable. Chloe went full ballistic on me. She yelled and thrashed our entire hideout. Yes, she was high and drunk, and apologized right away, but I was done and needed some space. I drove down to the beach to blow off some steam. The ocean always calmed me down, but this time it was different. It wasn't enough.
This was the moment I saw him. Frank Bowers, sitting in front of his RV, his dog right beside him, eyeballing me. I needed some weed anyway, so I thought 'what the hell' and went to him. And then…I don't know why…but I lost it. I cried and unloaded all this crap that was going on in my life on him. After I was done, I thought that Frank would just shrug and tell me to bawl somewhere else or to grow a pair…but he didn't, he actually listened and tried to comfort me. And I realized that there was more to him than it seemed.
This was also the day I fell back into my old scheme: acting and lying. Not that I didn't do it at Blackhell all day long, but with Chloe…I have always been honest with her, but I knew she'd freak out if I'd talk about Max or tell her that I was hooking up with Frank. So, I pretended that I finally accepted her past with Max. Period.
But it wasn't enough, the damage was already done. Our fights became more frequent and were always about the same problem: how and when we're finally gonna bail. Mostly, Chloe calmed down quickly and went on like nothing has happened, but I'm not like this. I tend to be unforgiving.
Yesterday, we had another big fight and again I went straight to Frank. We talked, he comforted me, we got high - and with high I mean totally wasted - and before I knew what was happening we landed in the sack. It felt so exciting, so awesome, so…different. Like when Chloe and I did it for the first time. But it also felt wrong and right now I just feel desperate.
What does this make me? Am I nothing more than a slut?
What will happen to our dream? Should we still go for it or face reality?
I don't know and this almost kills me. I get up, fling one of Frank's shirts over my nude body and leave the RV, taking another walk on the beach. There I break down and start to cry again, but this time I can't even tell Frank about the reason.
I'm caught in a web of lies, unable to get out of it. I'm even lying to myself. I started to use people like they're toys. Victoria would be proud of me.
Maybe my dad was right, I'm about to become like Sera, my birthmother. Never satisfied, always on the hunt for the next high, giving a shit about the people I actually love.
Oh Chloe, what have I done?!
I open my eyes and feel free, because I finally made a decision. I'm gonna leave this fucking hickhole as soon as this school year is over. With or without Chloe, I don't care. If she wants to live in the past then she can stay there! But I'm tired of being stuck! I'm gonna move on, and the ticket to my freedom lies right beside me: Mark Jefferson, my photography teacher.
There was always something special about him. While Chloe constantly pitied herself and bawled about Max; and Frank lost it almost on a daily basis, Mark stayed cool. He helped me to make a choice.
Fuck being an actress, I acted my whole life, he can make me a photo-model!
Fuck Arcadia Bay, he wants to move with me to New York.
Fuck my parents, they lied to me for years. But Mark…he's honest. I saw it in his eyes.
He told me that he's already preparing a photo gig for his recent project, and I'm gonna be the star. His masterpiece!
Only one question remains: How do I tell Chloe? She hates teachers and would definitely not agree with this relationship. Maybe I should just leave her a note for a start? Make a subtle approach with some hints, before we talk about this. We'll see.
Next week is the big Vortex Club party. One last time I'm gonna act like I care for each of these fuckers. One last time I'm gonna party the shit out of Blackhell. I just hope, Nathan brings the good stuff.
I look at my phone and see that Chloe has already bombed it with texts. Well, time to get up! I promised her that we hang out together the entire day…probably at the junkyard…as always.
Maybe everything is finally gonna turn out right. Maybe all these lies are finally gonna end. Maybe there's still hope for us; for our dream.
The dream of two girls.