A/N: Just a quick little introspective piece on Jon. I really like his relationship with Alanna, despite his obnoxiousness in the third book. This is my explanation.
Words: 196
Characters: Jon, (Alanna)
Time: During A Woman Who Rides Like a Man
Genre: Romance/Angst
Disclaimer: Everything you recognize belongs to Tamora Pierce, not me.
Jon was not blind, nor was he unintelligent or unkind. He saw that flash of pain and irritation in his beloved's eyes whenever he mentioned marriage. It sparked a now-familiar ache in his heart. He was just better at hiding his feelings than she was - Alanna always had been free with her temper.
But he could not stop asking her. He loved her too much to imagine life without her by his side.
And whenever she said she needed more time, he just smiled. He had to smile. He had to believe that he knew what her answer would be, however arrogant she might think him for it. He acted like he was sure she would say yes, so they might as well just get on with it. They loved each other, after all, so what more was there to it?
The truth remained buried as deep in his heart as the pain. He smiled and brushed off her vague answers as acceptances because he could not handle the thought of her refusal. If he let himself think she might say no…
No. She couldn't say no. Because Jon wouldn't be able handle it if she did.