(Characters borrowed from Brenda Hampton; story by Ishafel copyright 10/31/02)
A VERY CAMDEN HALLOWEEN
It was a spooky, crisp, cool, fall evening in GlenOak. All the little ghouls and goblins and clichés were frolicking through the piles of autumn leaves, visions of treats dancing through their heads. All but two of them, anyway. Sam and David Camden were finding it difficult to frolic. Sam (dressed as Elvis) found his costume uncomfortable and he was tired of explaining to the other children why he wasn't Harry Potter like he'd said he was going to be. David (the cutest little minister ever) was sulking because he hadn't been allowed to dress up like Einstein the chimp. Neither twin understood why their dad had taken such a violent dislike to Einstein. He came over so often he was like part of the family. He even did chores (something the twins weren't allowed to do, even though they were almost four already.) Rev Cam had been terribly upset when they'd started calling the chimp Matt, even though they just did it because they missed their big brother.
"Lucy!" Their mother was growing impatient. Annie was looking forward to having all of the kids out of the house for once. It would give her a chance to have adult relations with Eric, something she'd been eager to do since she'd stopped taking her Hormone Replacement Therapy pills. Somehow she and Eric just hadn't been alone since he'd recovered from his Open Heart Surgery. But if she could just get Lucy going, there would be time to have double adult relations.
Lucy flounced down the stairs, followed by Ruthie. She'd hadn't deigned to wear a costume (Kevin was going as a kop and Ruthie had borrowed Mary's stewardess costume uniform). Since she had developed a reputation as a wise counselor, she felt trick or treating was rather childish. Eric didn't really care; he had decided to take pictures in order to keep the kids in the house as long as possible. It wasn't safe to have them out there. "Squish together now," he ordered, noticing with a pang that the twins were able to walk by themselves now. When had that happened? They grew so quickly these days. Perhaps it was all the hormone treated pot roast Annie was always feeding them.
"Where's Simon?" he panicked. He knew he wasn't as involved in his kids' lives as he should be, but surely Simon still lived at home? He'd thought he would have time to reconnect with all of his kids after his double bypass, but somehow he'd been to busy helping people.
"Simon's upstairs in his bedroom with Cecilia, helping her paint her nails for the big dance," Ruthie said. "They probably didn't here you because they closed the door to have more privacy."
Eric knew that his prayers had been answered. Annie couldn't expect him to have adult relations with her when Simon and Cecilia were in the house. He rolled his eyes at the ceiling, promising it a soliloquy, and handed UNICEF boxes to his children. Then he opened the door and sent them into the night to practice the great pagan ritual of Samhain.