A/N Please be kind this is my first ever fanfiction and I am nervous about how everyone will feel about it. I love DE with all my heart but this wont be an easy road for them.
Chapter One: The Return
"Hey Ric, you ready to talk over the new season or what?" He said lowering himself down on to the couch letting the smell of the leather comfort him as he knew that most likely they would be here for awhile.
"Damon, I'm ready but I'm not sure if you are." "Why would you say that? This shows been my life for 10 years and I'm excited about the next phase we are taking here. There is so much more of Joseph's story to tell and I cant wait to start on the next chapter of the show" "Well I just left a meeting with Valerie and the other writers and there's a twist coming up that I'm not sure you're going to enjoy much"
"What twist Ric? Am I being written off or something? You're freaking me out man" he said as he ran his hands through his hair pulling on the raven locks a little to let out some tension, a nervous habit he had picked up as a child.
"They are bringing Elena back.." "What! You can not be serious? It was her idea to leave the show 4 years ago, why would she just randomly agree to come back after all this time?" "It was Val's choice to bring her back and she's agreed" "Well how many episodes? How long do I have to deal with her on set? How long is her guest appearance for?" "Damon, that's the part that you aren't going to like. She's not just returning for a guest appearance they are bringing her back permanently. At least for the next two seasons, but Valerie is wanting her character to return to the show until we finish. She feels like its the right thing for the show, all of the writers do. Including me."
He couldn't help himself, he shot off the couch and started pacing the room back and forth. There's no way they could bring her back for more than a few episodes, there's no way that he could be around her for that long. This wasn't going to work. There's no way he could handle this and Alaric was okay with this? His best friend and his producer was okay with the one person who was single handily responsible for ruining his life to come back in to his life just when he had finally figured out his shit again. What the hell was wrong with this picture?
"But our characters are lovers! I can't do this Ric! I can't work with her everyday! You know that I can't do this! You know I can't be in scenes with her! Are we just going to write that part out of the script? What about Andy? How is that going to make her feel? Wait did you already talk to Andy about this?"
"No I called you as soon as I was given the news. I didn't want you to be blindsided by this, but just be aware Valerie, nor any of the other writers are planning to lose the Joseph/Katherine love story. That's a huge part of the show and they don't see that changing just because you and Elena have personal history. You are going to have to find a way to deal with that if you are going to stay on the show. Which, by the way is what we all want for you and for the show."
"Thanks man. I don't know what I'm going to do here. This show is my life and I don't know what I would do without it but I don't know how this is going to work. I don't know how to be around her every day playing a character that is still in love with her character. I don't know how to make Andy okay with this, what the hell am I going to do man?"
"Just remember that you are already contracted for 3 seasons Damon. It would be the end of your career if you tried to get out of that. I'm not saying that as a producer but as your friend. Take the weekend and think about this. Talk to Andy. Try to see if she will understand, as your manager I'm sure she is able to see both sides clearly."
The look that was passed between the two men wasn't very hopefully of her cooperation but Damon hoped she would see that this wasn't his choice. He hoped she would see that this was not what he wanted to do, but instead what he had to do for his career. For the show that he had spent the last 10 years of his life creating, the show that had built his career.
Caroline paced the floor waiting for Elena to show up for their meeting. She had worked her ass off to get Elena what she wanted and it wasn't easy. Valerie Tulle was a tough writer to crack. If she didn't feel that something fit into her story line and the way she saw her show, Holland's Secrets going then there was no way to get her to budge. Luckily, Valerie has been eager to have Elena's character Katherine back on the show. Valerie had said that the other writers and herself had been trying to work up the nerve to contact Elena their selves, however they just didn't know how they would get Elena to agree. Lucky for her it's exactly what Elena wanted too. After they had determined their mutual goals it was easy to get a contract written up that would satisfy both the actress and the writers and producers of the long running show.
"Hey Care! What's the news? Did I get back on or what?" Elena rushes into the room asking questions ambushing her manager/best friend of 15 years.
"I did it! Valerie was already looking for a way to get you back. She wants to end the show with Katherine and Joseph's characters together. It was a piece of cake! She will be sending over the contract for you to sign by the end of the day."
"Oh my goodness! Yes! This is fantastic! You are the best agent in the world Care! Not to mention the best friend a girl could have!"
Elena rushes over to hug Caroline radiating joy, with the biggest smile on her face, a smile that hadn't been seen for years. Caroline however doesn't look as excited, there's fear and worry written all over her face as she hugs her best friend back hesitantly. She knew the reason why they were really here in Atlanta and she knew that it wasn't going to be an easy road for her friend being back on the show that she loved.
"Are you sure about this Elena? Are you sure this is what you want? It's been four years since you've seen him and with everything you've gone through are you sure that you can handle this?"
"I'm positive Caroline. I know I've been a mess the last few years but I have to do this. It's time. I know you're worried about me and I appreciate that so much but it's time to do this. Plus I miss acting! I miss being Katherine! I put so much of myself into that character, I need that part of myself back just as much as I need him back"
"You know it's not going to be easy though, right? You know you have to tell him about everything, and I do mean everything Elena. That's not going to be easy. You haven't even talked to me about the.."
"I know Care. I know I have to tell him but I'm not ready to talk about it yet. I'm not ready to talk to him about it yet, plus I don't even know if he will even be willing to talk to me right now. I wouldn't be surprised if he left the show just to get away from me but I have to try."
"Just as long as you are sure about this. I can still call Ric and Valerie and have them pull the idea right now if you change your mind"
Elena moves to sit down pulling Caroline down into the chair with her. She's silent for a few moments and just holds her best friend thinking over her options.
"I don't have any other options Care. I can't live without him in my life and this is my only way to get him back. I have to get him back Care. I'll go through whatever he puts me through if in the end it means I have him back." she finally says.
Damon sits in his chair at home holding a glass of bourbon thinking about everything that Ric told him today. She's coming back, after all this time she's coming back to his life. Is that really what he wants? Hell no. He does not want that woman anywhere near him or his life. How is he going to deal with her being back? He had Stefan look through his contract and its iron clad. He has to film three more seasons before he can leave the show, three seasons with her. There's no way to avoid her either, their characters are love interests and the fans are dead set on them ending up together. Not that the writers would even think about changing that story line, not even for him. Hell even he knows that's how the story needs to end.
But god three seasons of kissing her and being around her, even though it's all for t.v there's no way he's going to get through this without being effected by her. Those doe eyes and the smile that makes him feel invincible in a way that no one else or nothing else could do, at least it used to. Now it's going to tear his heart out slowly. That he was sure of, it was the only thing that he was sure of.
No he's got to find a way to talk her out of this. She cannot do this to him. She was the one who left. She was the one who said no. She was the one that had ended things not him. She was the one that choose to leave and he was going to make damn sure that she stayed away. He was determined to make sure that his life stayed the way it is now.
Slamming down the last of the bourbon in his glass he reached for his cell phone. He looked up the number that he had never had the heart to delete even after four years and pressed call.
It ringed three times and he almost didn't think she would answer, then finally he heard a hesitant "h..hello..."
"We need to talk."
"Damon..I don't even know where to start.."
"Nope. I don't want to talk about the past. I want to talk about the fact that you are trying to come back to my t.v show. Back to my life."
"Your tv show? What?"
"Yes my show. It's not your show anymore. You lost the right to call it your show when you chose to leave without as much as a goodbye."
"You know why I left Damon. Don't do that. Look can we talk about this in person? I don't want to do this over the phone."
"No. We can do this on the phone now. I don't want to see you at all so it would be impossible to do this in person."
"Well I want to see you. So we can do this in person or not at all and I'll just see you on set when filming starts next month. Its your choice Damon."
"No! You will not be filming! You chose to leave the show, therefore you don't have the right to just decide that you want to come back at random."
"I am filming Damon, there's nothing you can do about that. Didn't you hear that Valerie has already started writing the new season? The new season that Katherine has a huge part in."
"Fine. Tomorrow. Noon. Where do you want to meet? Or are you even in Atlanta yet?"
"I'll be flying in tomorrow morning. My flight arrives at 10 so I'll be there by noon. Is Lilly's good?"
"No. We can meet at the Starbucks on 7th street."
"Okay I'll be there"
There was no way in hell he was going to meet her at Lilly's. There was too much history between them at the little cafe. No. He needed to keep his head straight for the conversation that they needed to have and that wasn't going to be possible if he agreed to meet there. God, even the old school movie posters made him think of the times they would go there after a long day of filming to wind down with a cup of coffee and a stack of pumpkin pancakes to share because there was no way in hell either of them could finish a stack of the sugary goodness by themselves. She always agreed to share them with him even though she knew it meant spending thirty extra minutes with her trainer Haley. But she would always indulge him when he felt the need to decompress after spending a 12 hour day on set playing Joseph.
Why did she have to do this to him? He had done such a good job of keeping the memories at bay and ignoring the pain in his chest that flared up at just the sound of her name or a mention of the character that she loved to play.
He just wanted it to go away again! He needed the pain to end. It was too much, it overwhelmed him even now. After four years without her, without hearing her voice or seeing her face she still had such a hold on him. This is why she couldn't come back. This is why she needed to leave again. For good this time.
His life was good now. He had Andy, he loved her. It wasn't like the love he had for Elena, no he promised he would never let another woman have that kind of control on him again. No one.
He couldn't help but to go back to that day. The day that ended all the fantasies of happy ever after and hopeful thoughts of a love that could never end. A love that no one could break apart no matter what. A love that consumed him. A love that he would do anything for. He would, but she wouldn't even though he thought she would have at the time.
*Four years earlier*
Damon and Elena had decided to go to her families lake house for the weekend. It was the end of summer and almost fall so the weather was perfect for the little cabin by the lake outside of her hometown Mystic Falls Virginia. They had spent the weekend just spending time together and enjoying each other's company.
He knew that they would have to leave in the morning to go back to Atlanta and they would go back to the packed schedule, where every moment of every day was planned by agents and directors. But right her in this moment it was perfect. He had his girl wrapped in his arms sitting on the dock by the lake just watching the water ripple and the stars shine in the sky covered by their favorite throw blanket. He knew this was the right moment. The moment that he had been waiting months for.
Slowly he moved her off his lap to sit in front of him.
"What is it Damon?" She looked up at him with those beautiful brown doe eyes with such a look of love and adoration that he almost didn't get the words out, but he knew that he needed to do this. He needed to have her agree to forever with him, even if he didn't deserve her he still selfishly wanted her and that was exactly what he was going to do. He was going to have her for forever if she would agree to it.
"Elena, I love you so much baby. God, I don't know what I would have done without you the last 6 years. Your friendship kept me sane for the first few seasons of filming and then you agreed to go out with me as more than friends. And the last 3 years of having you in my life as my heart have been the best of my life! It took me 26 years to find you and understand what it meant to give myself over to someone fully. To trust that you would never hurt me. To know that you knew the real me, the me that no one else gets to know and the fact that you love me still means so much to me." He reached into his jeans to pull out the perfect ring for the perfect girl. He looks up at her and she has tears streaming down her face, but there's something else in her eyes. Fear. No, God please no.
"Damon, I.." she covers his hands with her own hiding the ring, never looking down.
"Elena just let me finish, please" He pleaded crystal blue eyes staring into her eyes.
"I can't. I can't let you finish. Damon, I know where this is going and oh my god I can't believe I'm going to say this but I can't. Not yet. I love you so much! And I feel the same about you that you do about me but I can't agree to this right now. I want to so bad but I'm not ready yet Damon."
"Why not!? We've been together for 3 years and we've know each other for 6 Elena. We know each other better than anyone else does. Why not right now?"
"Damon you are 33, you've lived your life and you know where you want to be in life but Damon I am 26. I don't know what my life looks like in 5 years let alone in a year from now! I know I want you! I'll always want you! But I'm not ready for that step. Not yet. I'm just asking for time, Damon. Just a little bit of time for me to figure out where my career is going. God, Caroline is talking about movie deals and that means filming anywhere! And I don't want that kind of life with you, I want to be with you every night when we take that next step and I can't promise you that. I know that you want that too. Can you understand that? It's not about how long we've been together or how long we've know each other, its about the fact that I don't even know myself right now."
There are tears streaming down her face again, but it's not for the reason he wants. He looks at her with his own tears shinning in his own eyes, but he refuses to let them fall. He won't let her see that she is tearing his heart from his chest. He won't let her see that she just broke him in a way that no one else ever had.
"Of course I want that life Elena! I want to spend every night for the rest of my life with you by my side! But I don't care about the movie deals and the filming! I just want you! I want a promise that says you are mine forever that everyone can see! I want to watch you walk down the isle with Ric standing in the place of your dad coming towards me! I want to promise you that I'll be there for you forever in front of everyone that we love and I want to hear you say those words too! I want you Elena! Why the hell don't you want that too?"
"I do!"
"Then let me finish! Let me ask you and say yes!"
"I can't Damon. I need time! Please! Just a little bit of time!"
She struggles to move but she eventually gets to the place she wants to be. She sits back in his lap and folds his arms around her, but she can feel that his arms are limp and his shoulders slump with disappointment.
"Where do we go from here?" He ask with a small voice.
"Just hold me Damon. Let's go back inside and lay down and just hold me. Let's go back to being the content couple we were just 30 minutes ago. Let's pretend just for tonight that everything is okay and we can figure it all out tomorrow. Please"
They walk back inside and go to bed. He does what she ask. He holds her. All night long but he can't stop thinking that this is the end for them. She doesn't love him enough to promise him forever and he doesn't know how to deal with that. He wants her forever but she obviously doesn't want him.
He slips out of bed after laying there for hours and silently packs his things and leaves. He knows he should have waited to talk to her but he can't. Not yet. He will but now he's the one who needs the time.
What he doesn't know is that it will be four years before he sees her again.
If he had know that when he walked out of that cabin he never would have left that bed with her. But he did and now everything has changed. Just the way he knew it would when she refused to let him finish his proposal all those years ago.