I don't own Merlin. Lyrics are from various Loreena Mckennitt songs. I don't own the poetry or the lyrics, whichever they happen to be in each chapter.

I struggled to write from Arthur's point of view. But for the purposes of the story, I had to. There are some lines I want to use, but they just don't work with the story. Perhaps I will write a sequel, just so I can use them. This is a three-part story. Enjoy. I don't own Merlin, of course.

Somewhere the sun rose, o'er dunes in the desert
such was the stillness, I ne'er felt before
Was this the question, pulling, pulling, pulling you
in your heart, in your soul, did you find rest there?

Merlin had been gone for exactly two days and thirteen hours. It was late afternoon, he was tired. He hadn't been able to get a good night's rest in two days. Which was rather unusual for him, never once in his life had he had troubles with sleep. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he was mind-numbingly bored. Was it possible to be too bored to sleep? Had Prince Arthur really got to this point? He actually needed his manservant to keep him occupied throughout the day? Did he rely on him that much?

Merlin. Off visiting his mother, making sure that the dragon hadn't destroyed his hometown. He suspected other reasons as well, Merlin had been carrying a half haunted expression lately. As if something was troubling him. Why had he let him go anyways? Normally, servants didn't take time off, unless it was a rare occasion. A death in the family or something of the sort would have been a passable reason. Gwen had taken a few days to collect herself after her father had been executed. So it happened, but there had been no deaths in Merlin's family, so why would he need to leave? If he had known how insufferably bored he was going to be without his dim-witted manservant, he probably wouldn't have let him go in the first place.

Not even training could rid his boredom. He dressed himself in his armour, wondering if he actually missed Merlin's awkward fingers tying the strings. It gave him the slightest bit of amusement to watch him fumble. Especially if it was cold out and the metal was chill to the touch. As Arthur continued about his day, he eventually found himself lying in bed. Wide awake, staring at the ceiling, lost in thought.

The night broke into a cold morning, and half that time he had been rolling about in his bed, his vain attempts to get comfortable wasted by the fact that every time he closed his eyes, he imagined another long and boring day. Without Merlin.

There was a knock at the door, and he called them in. A servant, carrying a tray of food, entered, setting it down on the table wordlessly. "Would you gather me enough food and supplies to last a few days?" He requested, sitting up in his bed slowly.

"Yes sire" She responded, exiting the room to allow him to get dressed. He didn't let any other servants dress him, not when he was perfectly capable of dressing himself. He wasn't sure why. Before Merlin had arrived, other servants took care of such tasks.

By the time she came back, Arthur was dressed and standing at the window. Staring out over the village, he admired the work done to repair buildings. They had been lucky. The dragon's attack had not killed everyone. Only some, and though their loss wasn't insignificant, he knew it could have been worse.

He dismissed the servant, inspecting the food she had brought. It should be enough, and a reasonable gift for showing up unannounced. He was tired, and sat down in the chair for a long moment. Gathering his thoughts and taking a moment to ponder the dragon.

Arthur did not remember killing it. He remembered getting hit, and when he woke up Merlin's dopey grin told him he had slain it. There was no body, his sword contained no blood. If he had not done it, who had? There was no way Merlin could have done it. Unless, well, strange things happened when he was with Merlin, perhaps he had something to do with it. The idea seemed impossible, what could Merlin do that could destroy a dragon? He had not failed to notice spears launching themselves at enemies with no one claiming they had thrown it. Rooftops caving in at random, tree branches throwing themselves off of the rest of the tree. Strange things that he couldn't explain, and even less did he want to wonder what the explanation was. Somehow, he didn't think he would like the answer.

He supposed that he could just ask for a sleeping draught from Gaius. But surely he would ask him 'why', and that was a difficult question to answer. Telling him that he was bored because Merlin wasn't around, and therefore couldn't sleep seemed almost suspicious. Even though in his mind, it didn't seem that way.

Arthur made his way to the stables, gathering his horse and strapping his things to him. He spotted Gwen walking with a basket of blankets in her hands. He rushed out to her. "Could you give word to my father that I will be going out on a little hunting trip? I should be back in a few days." He asked, the woman nodded with a pale smile.

"Of course, sire, I'll let him know right away. And.. be safe."

He nodded, his lips curled into a pleasant smile. "I will. See you in a few days."

Just like that – he was off. Arthur knew the way to Ealdor, it would take some time, but he would be there soon enough.

Even though Arthur was lacking the proper amount of sleep, he still made fast work of the distance. Stopping for only a few hours once the chill of the night set in to sleep, even though he was only able to sleep for an hour or so at the most.

By the time he arrived in Ealdor he was feeling strained and hungry. But the village looked happy to see him; those who remembered him bowed their heads respectfully. Arthur nodded slightly in return, his eyes concentrated on finding the reason he came all this way. It didn't really take that long to find the boy, he was bent over a fire, adding a couple sticks to the flames. There was a pot of water boiling over it, even though the fire seemed far too small to boil that much of it so quickly.

Arthur dismounted the horse, looping the reins over a fence post, dusting off his hands and walking towards his manservant. Merlin's messy hair seemed even messier than usual as he crossed his arms over his chest, waiting to be noticed.

It didn't take long for Merlin to cast his eyes over his shoulder, then jump, letting out an "Arthur!" as he straightened.

"Good job Merlin, it only took you two minutes to notice me."

Suddenly the boy looked flustered, a brief shine of panic in his eyes. "I'm not doing anything" He said quickly. "Wait, what are you doing here?" He raised an eyebrow, watching him carefully.

"Relax, I'm just here to make sure you don't go and get your head lopped off." He stated breezily.

Merlin seemed to relax a bit, enough to pull that cheeky grin of his and teasingly start speaking. "Missed me already? Or did you forget how to tie your own boots?"

"Hardly. You're barely capable of that, much less surviving alone out here."

"You know I grew up here, right?" That smile never left his face.

Arthur simply clapped Merlin's shoulder, retreating to the horse to pull off the bag of food he had brought. "I'll be staying here awhile" He declared. "This should help." He tossed it at the boy, who fumbled with the heavy sack before securing his grip.

"But, why-?" Arthur gave him a clear 'don't ask, or you'll regret it' look, which shut him up nicely.

Merlin prepared a nice dinner, using some of what Arthur had brought. He set up a place in his room for Arthur to sleep, and Arthur was sure not to ask Merlin to do any minor tasks. He even helped fetch water and offered the food he had brought with him from Camelot. He could tell Merlin had a thousand questions for him, just by glancing at him.

These were questions that didn't really seem to have any real answers right now. Merlin went to visit his mother, sure, he was his servant, but did that mean that he had to command him right now? Maybe he had left partly to get away from him – and here he was. Following him all the way to his hometown didn't seem entirely logical. But he had done it, he was here now, so what could they do about it?

Until the time came for him to answer these questions, Arthur didn't have anything to say. He had shown up unannounced; it went against everything he knew to demand them to wait on him at every step. The last time he had been here he had been there to help, he had been younger, and he knew less than he did now. He had aged a lot since Merlin had started working for him.

The evening passed quickly, Merlin was back to his usual irritating self. They bickered aimlessly, calling one another names. There was no one else he would tolerate calling him names like this. No one but Merlin, and he had no idea how the boy had managed to get to that point in the first place. He knew it wasn't serious, Merlin was just.. Merlin.

He lay on the hard ground, staring upwards. He was tired; there was no doubt about that. The lack of sleep had been gnawing at his head all day; Merlin was settled beside him, lying with his feet near his head. He placed his hands behind his head, glancing down the blankets at Merlin's body. "Okay. You can talk now." He stated smugly, aware that those questions were burning away in his mind.

"Why are you here?"

"I was bored." He admitted. "You wouldn't believe how stuffy everyone is, without your blundering around I have no one to talk to." He could tell Merlin was smiling.

"So you did miss me" He said smugly, Arthur nudged him with his toes playfully.

"Not entirely. It's nice to get out of Camelot sometimes."

"But you came to find me."

"I already told you, I was bored."

He could picture Merlin's expression. He could imagine his eyes would be scrunched up because he was grinning like an idiot. He could see his high cheekbones in the light and the way his hair needed a trim. Merlin's face seemed to be engraved into his mind, and he inhaled thickly. Breathing in the smell of the dust of the ground and the smell of Merlin's sheets, almost happily.

Merlin didn't say anything else, but he had a feeling there was something else on his mind. There was a vague tension in the air around them – but Merlin remained completely quiet. Arthur opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated before he could say anything.

The next thing Arthur knew, it was late in the morning and Merlin was gone. He relaxed, leaning back into the ground and smiling to himself. Merlin had hung one of his shirts over the curtain-less window so that he would be able to sleep in a bit longer. For the first time since Merlin had left, Arthur felt completely rested. He lay there for a few long moments, wondering why he felt so happy and why on earth it appeared that Merlin was the one to do it. The room was still warm, the chill of the morning lingered but the heat of the day had already begun to warm the air.

When he finally rose, he stretched and made to look for Merlin. Instead, he found his mother. Who smiled fondly and handed him a bowl of porridge, decorated with a few of the fruits that Arthur had brought. "I know it's not much, sire, but I hope you can enjoy it."

"How about Merlin and I head out and catch a nice meal for tonight?"

Merlin didn't seem to mind going out with Arthur, especially because he wasn't asked to dress him or anything of the sort. They were simply two friends going hunting together, enjoying the crisp air. No talk of servants or princes or duties or anything that was required of them, only the air and the subtle kind of friendship they carried. Riding their horses along a path, they travelled far away. Back into his own kingdom, just so they wouldn't run into any trouble. They chatted aimlessly, Merlin didn't have any worries, and eventually they stopped half an hour's distance from a village. Loosely looping their horses to a tree near a small river, they gathered their supplies to finish their journey on foot.

Merlin was clumsy as ever, something Arthur wondered if he would ever improve upon. He supposed it was just another thing that made him Merlin, and not anyone else. Feeling well rested, Arthur felt agile and prepared.

He led the way, whispering hushed commands in attempt to flush out the creatures they were hunting.

Arthur knelt, inspecting something on the ground. Eventually, he plucked a feather off of the hard leafy ground, examining it. It was unlike any other he had ever seen, deep ebony with a peculiar shine to it. He slid the feather into his pocket; this creature had to be close. They could close in on it if they could track it.

Merlin made his way in a half circle, he was just out of sight when he heard a yell. He was up, spear in his hand, rushing towards his friend. A feathered dog-like creature brought its large black claws down on Merlin's shoulder.

It was uneventful to kill it; the creature was already injured and missing parts of its feathers. The spear shot home and it landed heavily on the ground, Merlin shakily stood as he walked over. "Good job, Merlin. You almost got your head lopped off. Good thing I'm here." He stated smugly, about to side step the creature. But it was already gone, just a pile of ash and feathers where it had been laying. He rose an eyebrow as he passed, instead heading over to Merlin to inspect his bloody shoulder.

"I wouldn't be out here if you hadn't dragged me" Merlin stated, his face twisted in pain.

"Come on now, it can't be that bad." Arthur insisted, inspecting the rips in the other's shirt and the scratches under. "See? It's not that bad. Here-" Arthur interrupted himself by ripping a long ribbon of fabric off of his shirt, to which Merlin bit his tongue. He tied it skilfully around the three long scratches, making sure it was tight enough to stop the bleeding. "Let's keep moving." He said as he clapped Merlin on his good shoulder, nudging him onwards.

Until a large growl caused him to stop, placing a hand on his sword. His eyes narrowed, and he saw the boar rush towards them. They were common in these parts, though they weren't often very large. When they were, it was a struggle for even him to defeat one. This one, as it came rushing forwards, was one of the largest he had seen. Sword at ready, he prepared to attack. Both he and Merlin barely dodged as it rushed passed and came back for another charge. Snorting and frothing as it did, staring Arthur down. As it came charging, Arthur threw his sword with all of his strength. The sword only sliced briefly into its back before flying off, landing on the ground somewhere. Panic gripped him, until the spear he had left on the ground flew straight, fast, and well-aimed into the boar's neck.

There it was again. A spear coming out of nowhere like that, saving him in the process. He turned around quickly, turning his gaze to Merlin. Had Merlin been throwing these spears all this time? He didn't know that Merlin was even capable of doing that, but he seemed to be breathing heavily. He looked a little flushed. Calmly, Arthur made his way to the spear and, with some effort, pulled it out.

He tossed it to Merlin, who nearly didn't catch it. "Throw it" He commanded. His first real command since they had seen each other.

Merlin threw it at the boar, it bounced off harmlessly. "So Merlin, why is it that when we're in a battle, you're able to throw spears as if you've grown up doing it, but when I'm actually watching you, you can't throw hard enough to save your life?"

Merlin spluttered, as if he had no idea how to respond. "Er, well, I don't know?" He said, looking at him hopelessly. "Maybe when I know someone's in danger I know what to do with it."

Arthur didn't know what else to say. Sure, he had a suspicion. One that he didn't want to think about, the implications were worse than he could imagine. The words didn't even come to his mind, he simply stood there, then sighed, shaking his head. "Let's get this home." He concluded, getting to work on stripping easily cartable pieces of meat from the carcass.

Merlin helped where he could, he had a basic understanding of it, and eventually just stepped back and let Arthur take care of it. Then the two of them made their way back to their horses. Merlin seemed to be going a little slower than normal, and he stopped and looked back at him. He looked pale, but he just chalked it up to the watery cloudy light that passed through the trees. "What's taking you so long?" He demanded. "Don't tell me you're still blundering about that shoulder."

"No, sire. Sorry," as he rushed forwards to join him, so they could walk beside one another. Arthur slowed his pace enough for Merlin to keep up, wondering what the boy was up to.

When they made it back to their horses, Merlin was looking a bit worse now. "Seriously Merlin, if you're not feeling well then speak up."

"No sire, I'm fine" His voice was quiet, he didn't meet his eyes. Arthur sighed, mounting his horse and waiting for Merlin to do the same. But Merlin had changed, he was no longer babbling on about unimportant things, he was quiet, which bothered Arthur. He had come here to, even though he didn't want to admit it more than he already had, to see Merlin. Not anyone else. So having the boy quiet down bothered him.

That was, until Merlin groaned lowly. By the time Arthur stopped, Merlin was swaying and wound up in the dust, all the colour drained from his face, blood staining his blue shirt.