Harry never learned to cry right. As a child, he had no one to hold him when sadness overcame him, and over the years, he found that tears never helped him when sadness tore a hole through his heart. Even when people surrounded him with care – his friends, his adopted family – he found that he still didn't cry right. Tears were supposed to come when he saw the bodies of Tonks and Remus, when Dumbledore died, when Snape spoke his final words to Harry. He didn't cry once.
A year after the battle, Harry finally did cry. He proposed to Ginny; she said yes and embraced him, and he cried. At the time, it surprised both of them, but they were so overcome with happiness that they only laughed. And that made sense.
Harry found that his tears only came when happiness attacked him, consumed him. Sometimes, the tears told him that his joy overwhelmed him until it almost hurt; everything felt too perfect. He needed it to stop. Someone please promise him it would stop.
He didn't want the tears to stop.
He cried when he married Ginny, and he cried even harder when he held his first son. Sobs ripped through him, until he couldn't breathe, and his eyes felt puffy. He rubbed at them, reddening them, and he tasted saltwater on his tongue.
After Lily was born, , James Sirius asked him why he was crying. He told Harry not to be sad, in that pouty, toddler voice that annoyed the hell out of Harry but he loved all the same.
Harry didn't try to explain his happy tears to his young son. He never understood them either. Ginny only smiled at him as he cried; he couldn't have asked for a better wife. She gave him a beautiful family, and he loved them all more than anything in the world.
He tended to apologize for his tears; at his wedding, when he kissed Ginny, and one of his tears dropped onto her face, he whispered a quick "sorry" against her lips. She only smiled back. Later that night, she told him to never apologize for his emotions, especially not to her.
She found it beautiful when happiness overwhelmed her husband to tears. Joy encased him, and he released the emotions in such a free way that contrasted how he dealt with pain. He hid pain from the world, but he never could hide joy.
Harry didn't cry on his parent's death day. He always felt too tired for any strong emotion on tragic days. On May 2nd, when everyone celebrated their freedom and forgot those who died for it, he shook with indignant anger, but he never cried.
His tears still made his face puffy, still left marks on his glasses, still made his face tighten as the salty water dried. But he never regretted his tears, not really.
If his tears could speak to him, they'd tell him to remember the scene before his eyes forever, whether it was his wife or his kids or his friends. Harry found that he never cared that the memories of those moments were a little blurry as he looked through the small drops of water that showed his happiness to the rest of the world.
If his tears could speak to him, they'd remind him that despite all he'd gone through, despite how people still stared at his scar, he was just another human.
Written for the prompt: "If your tears could speak to you, what would they say!" Daily writing exercise, Day 1!
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Writing tumblr: Speaking-Out-Loud
Disclaimer: Not my universe.
