A/N: I obviously don't own anything except the story line.

This is my first FF so if you like the Prologue review and tell me. The faster you do the faster I'll write the next one.

Prologue

BPOV

It had been seven months since I last seen him. Now eight months later here he was in front of me. Only this time we were separated by thick wood and soon to be six feet of earth.

How did everything get so fucked up? Oh yes I know the answer to this one – me. Fucking me. My life wasn't perfect so I fucked his up too.

I slowly made my way to the bedroom, my feet slightly sticking to the sun heated floor. My breath quickened as the distance between my trembling body and the door closed between us.

I shakily reached for the bronze handle and quickly jerked it down.

I was met on the other side by a great blinding light which flooded through the wide open curtains. Soon after my eyes adjusted to the light my eyes rested on the sight I loved yet hated.

I watched as his slow breaths escaped his soft, parted lips.

His light hair; a beautiful mess atop his head.

His strong muscular body under his gorgeous pale skin- his was a vision, a Greek god.

He stirred in the bed and stretched his arms to the sides, the dreaded moment was close

Time was slowly closing in before I opened my mouth and shattered his world.

How would he take it?

Badly.

My gut screamed the words and projected it through my body, I began to tremble more and with a mind of its own my dry, chapped lips spoke the words.

'I...I'm…We need to talk'

In one quick motion he was sat up on the bed, face staring straight at me, eyes harsh and clouded with negative emotions and mouth slightly ajar.

My mind began to race, how would this end? I hoped for only a few bruises or a broken arm at worst, but only time would tell how my actions would become my body's consequence.

8 months ago my secret ruined his life and now he had lost it. I missed him incredibly and the guilt never left my thoughts.

Ever.

I had fought with myself time after time on whether to come here or not. I decided after everything I had caused him that I should turn up. I didn't feel like it. If I could I would have turned up in black sweats and an oversized hoody.

I couldn't do that

Although my heart was broken and I had permanent tears I had to make an effort, it's the only way I can blend in, rather than stand out.

At that moment I wished for Bernard's watch. I could stop time, say my final, tearful goodbyes to the man I loved then be gone.

Not standing here avoiding eye contact with anyone, or pretending to mourn a different grave. Pussy.

The priest stepped forward, I held my breath. The strangers around me moving, twirling their slightly damp umbrella's through the moist air. Many faced him, yet some like me focused on the thick coffin which was laid before us all.

Why did I do this to him?

'Welcome everyone on this Spring Morning; it is good to see many of you turned up to this sad event to show your sorrow and love of the man here before us. His death was premature and hard on everyone who knew him. Today we send him up to the lord. Today …'

I'm going to be sick

'… We are here for …'

That's all I heard before darkness took over.

A/N: Thanks for reading, please review ...