I don't own Girl Meets World and never will. No copyright infringement intended.
Author's Note: The other day, I was thinking about how they cut Elliot from the show and then my mind proceeded to go a dark place that will never happen on a Disney show. Hope you like this.
Topanga's first pregnancy surprised everyone, but the tragedy that ensued changed their lives irrevocably. Cory and Topanga refuse to talk about the son they lost and have only done so on a few occasions.
The couple had been excited to meet their baby, their first child, and take him home. Amy and Alan had even flown into town so they could help out with their first grandchild. Morgan and Joshua had stayed home back in Philadelphia, but they too would be making the trip after hearing the devastating news about their nephew. Josh was still too young to understand, but he felt the undercurrent of sadness in the apartment.
Elliot Lawrence Matthews came into the world at 2:35PM and was pronounced dead only five minutes later. Cory's face crumpled as his wife started sobbing hysterically and had to be sedated. Going out to tell his family was one of the hardest things Cory ever had to do in his life and the moment haunted his dreams for years. When her son came out into the waiting room with red-rimmed eyes, Amy's heart dropped. "What is it?"
Cory could barely speak and kept stumbling over his words. "He… he wasn't crying and he's gone. He's gone, Mom."
She gasped and clapped a hand over her mouth. "Oh, Cory." She wanted to go in and see Topanga, but she wanted to make sure that Cory wasn't falling apart at the seams first.
Amy, Alan, Eric, and Shawn crowded around Cory and hugged him as hard as they could. None of them could believe this had happened.
Cory and Topanga went home empty-handed the next day. Amy had closed the door to the nursery because she didn't think her son and daughter-in-law would be able to handle seeing it. She had fallen apart herself just looking inside of the room. They had all been worried about losing Joshua after his premature birth, but he had recovered, and they were even more thankful for it after Elliot's stillbirth. She felt guilty for even more grateful about Josh's health. Nobody had been expecting it and their emotions were all over the place.
Alan nodded at his son when he entered the kitchen. "How's Topanga?" he questioned.
"Taking a nap. She was exhausted." Cory wanted to take a nap himself, but he had to take care of his wife. She needed him right now. He couldn't afford to fall apart again and alienate Topanga. He refused to do that to her.
"You need anything?" Alan didn't know what to say to Cory – what he say that wouldn't be hollow? The loss of a child was crushing.
He shook his head. "I'm fine. Thanks, Dad." He sat down in the chair and choked back a sob. He missed the baby he and Topanga would never be allowed to know. They had never even heard Elliot cry, an experience they had been looking forward to. The constant kicking that kept Topanga awake some nights, the midnight cravings, and constant mood swings was preferable to this hell.
Alan didn't believe a word out of his mouth. "If you need any of us, don't shut anybody out. We're all here for you." He didn't want Cory and Topanga to deal with this on their own. It wasn't healthy.
Eric had gone uncharacteristically quiet after learning the news of his nephew's death, but he chimed in for support. "Cor, you guys aren't alone. None of us are going anywhere." He had stopped playing dumb for the time being because he knew they all needed him right now.
Amy had already cancelled their flight home and booked one for Morgan and Josh. They'd be there for as long as Cory and Topanga needed their support. "Baby, we are so sorry." She had already told him that in the hospital waiting room after he delivered the horrific news, but she didn't think he had heard them then. Hell, she wasn't even sure if he heard them now.
He blinked back the tears and headed to the fridge to get some leftover pizza. Cory didn't have much of an appetite, but he figured it was time to eat. The slice he took a bite of had no taste and he sat it down on the plate. Amy didn't say anything and just cleaned up for him.
The next day, Elliot's funeral was held at a local cemetery. Topanga had to be sedated again, and Cory wished he could have been drugged too. It would be preferable to the overwhelming grief that he couldn't bury, no matter how hard he tried.
Shawn clapped a hand on Cory's shoulder and pulled him in for a hug. "Love you, brother."
"Love you too, Shawnie." Was it only three days ago they had been excited about becoming parents? Now they were burying their baby.
Amy buried her face in Alan's shoulder and sobbed. "Oh, Alan."
He rubbed her back. "I know." Alan kissed the top of her head and wished again that this hadn't happened. He was glad Amy had restricted the funeral to only close family because there didn't need to be a spectacle. Neither Cory nor Topanga needed one either. Even Topanga's parents had stopped fighting and temporarily brokered a truce so they didn't further upset their daughter.
Amy, Alan, Morgan, and Josh returned to Philadelphia about six weeks later, leaving Cory and Topanga to grieve by themselves. Shawn and Eric stopped by every day and refused to let them fall apart even further. They forced Cory to get shower and made Topanga get out of the bed and do something (anything).
Topanga sat on the couch and blankly stared at the TV, which wasn't even turned on. She bit her lip and let out a sob. She had been numb for weeks, but even that had gradually faded until she was left to deal with anger and the sadness that wouldn't go away. She had broken a few plates, hoping to get Cory angry, but he had just cleaned up and kissed her forehead. "Shawn, why did this happen to us?"
Sitting down next to her, Shawn shrugged. "Life sucks sometimes. It's not the best answer, but it's the truth. You and Cory have always been there for me when I fell apart. You're going to get through this. You'll have some good days and bad days, but you'll eventually move on. I miss my dad every day, but it's gotten easier. It'll be the same for you and Cory." He squeezed her hand and let her cry on his shoulder. He hoped he hadn't just lied to her.
When Cory got home, Topanga was eating cereal in their kitchen and Eric was entertaining her. He had taken over for Shawn after getting off work early. She actually cracked a smile and started laughing after a surprisingly funny joke. And once she started, Topanga couldn't stop. It felt nice to laugh for the first time in a long time. She dissolved into sobs about ten minutes later, once she calmed down, but she actually felt like herself again (at least for a little while). She went to bed early (again) and left Cory and Eric alone.
"How you feeling?" Eric knew his brother hadn't cried since Elliot's death and was exceedingly worried about him.
Cory shrugged. "About the same."
"Cory, why are you lying to me? To yourself? You're not okay and we all know it. Nobody wanted to say anything, but it's the truth."
Cory swept his hand across the table and knocked the cereal box off. "How the fuck do you think I'm doing, Eric? My son is dead!"
Eric's eyes widened – Cory didn't swear very often so this had caught him off guard. "I know. You don't have to keep holding it all in, Cor. That's not good for either of you."
Cory finally broke then and folded in half. Eric pulled him in for a hug and held his back as sobs shook his body. "It hurts so fucking much and I don't want to think about it anymore, but he's all I can think about. And I can't even be strong for Topanga and everything's falling apart."
"Little bro, nobody expected you two to be fine after Elliot died. It's okay to cry – really. Don't let it build up like this."
Cory was actually in awe of his brother's wisdom and caught off guard by it, but he was too busy crying to say anything about it. Topanga came out of the bedroom with red-rimmed eyes and a puffy face, and stared at them. She joined her husband and brother-in-law and the three of them cried and mourned the loss together.
Cory and Topanga actually sat down together to talk the next morning. "I love you and I'm not going anywhere," she promised.
"I love you too, Topanga. I'm sorry about the way I've been acting."
"Don't apologize – I haven't exactly been myself either. We'll move on from this. I know we will, even if it hurts too much to even think straight right now." She rubbed his back and kissed her husband. They held hands for an hour and just talked – about what could have been; about that horrible day that was forever burned into their memories.
After that, life got a little easier for Cory and Topanga. They still mourned their loss, but they slowly started to move on. It was hard to talk about Elliot, so they very rarely mentioned him. Their lives were just easier that way.
When Topanga got pregnant again, both of them worried. Their doctor assured him that both the baby and Topanga were healthy, but that had been true of her first pregnancy right up until the birth. Fourteen months after Elliot's stillbirth, Riley Erica Matthews came into the world screaming – and perfectly healthy. It eased her parents' worries a little, but they were still first-time parents and overreacted to every little problem. Louis followed a few years later, and Topanga and Cory adored the family the created. Their eyes sometimes met when they were playing with the kids and they acknowledged the missing family member in a few short glances.
Riley found out the truth shortly after her twelfth birthday – she found the birth certificate – and was horrified. She held the piece of paper up and stared at it in confusion. She didn't really know how to start the conversation, but eventually worked up the courage. "What's wrong? Are you sick?" Topanga questioned when her daughter walked into the living room.
She opened her mouth a few times, but stalled and shook her head just as her father walked into the room. "What is this?" she questioned.
Topanga paled as soon as she saw what Riley was holding, then turned around and bolted towards the bathroom. She surprised both Cory and Riley by locking the door. "There's something we have to tell you that we should have told you before," Cory told her. He wanted to go and see Topanga, but needed to talk to his daughter first.
"Something happened, right? Something bad?"
He nodded. "You know what stillbirth is?"
A horrified Riley wanted to cry and her voice cracked when she spoke. "So that's what happened to Elliot? My big brother?"
"Yeah, honey, your big brother. Your mom and I miss him every day, but we love you and your brother so much you have no idea. It still hurts, which is why she's locked herself in the bathroom. We didn't tell you because you were so young and we had no idea how to bring it up. We didn't want you to find out like this." It felt nice to talk about this, but Cory was about to drown in his grief again and he couldn't handle it.
"I'm sorry, Daddy." Riley hugged him. She wouldn't bring up this up again unless one of her parents did. She could see that Elliot's death hurt them both deeply.
"You didn't know – it's okay." Cory kissed her and then went to go see Topanga. He managed to talk her out of her within fifteen minutes. Riley apologized to her mother, but she assured her that she wasn't mad at her.
When Louis came out of his room, Riley cornered him. "Go hug Mom and Dad right now," she ordered.
"Why?" He had been playing video games and was completely unaware of everything that just happened.
"Just do it!" She pushed him in the direction of his kitchen.
Cory and Topanga were caught off guard by the hug, but they appreciated it. "What was that for?" an amused Topanga questioned.
Louis shrugged. "Riley told me to do it." He got a snack out of the fridge and returned to his room.
Riley didn't push about Elliot and listened when her parents came to her to talk about the day they would never forget. She irrationally missed the older brother she had never gotten to know and consequently let Louis get away with anything he wanted for the next few weeks.
Cory and Topanga had two beautiful children they adored and they were grateful both were healthy. They still didn't talk about Elliot much after Riley found his birth certificate, but the grief didn't suffocate them like it had before. And the couple would always be thankful to his parents, Shawn, and Eric being there for them when they needed them the most.