"Katniss! You came back?"
"Hello, Peeta! Yes, we came back for a vacation. We miss the woods and the hunting."
"We?"
"Gale, Rory and I are hunters, and Hazelle and Vick are here because they are homesick. Posy and Lilly don't have a choice", she explained with a smile.
While I was wondering how long we will chat emptily and when I will get the chance to really talk to her, the door opened and Gale came out onto the porch with a baby in his arms. As soon as I set eyes on him, agitation began building up in me. I clenched my fists and breathed in deeply, trying to keep control over my petty, poisoned mind. In that moment, the baby in his arms began to wiggle, spreading its little arms toward Katniss. She took it with a smile and, holding it gently, turned to me, saying: "This is Lilly!" Looking at them, unable to understand what I'm seeing, I felt my legs failing me and gratefully welcomed the darkness that swallowed me…
Senseless thoughts were trying to break through to my consciousness while I was looking for a more comfortable position. I must have had another nightmare – Katniss had come back with Gale and his family and they had a baby. Just the mere memory of that dream is enough to throw me into a semi-feral state that could last a few days. Suddenly, I hear Haymitch's voice: "He's alright, he's coming back…" What is he doing in my bedroom? No, impossible. It is real! Katniss, the baby, Gale… If I close my eyes firmly, everything will disappear. I don't have to wake up. I don't have the strength to wake up… Or a reason to…
"Haymitch, maybe you should carry him into the house. Should I call a doctor?" Katniss asked routine questions out of habit, the usual ones for when I fall into "my state." Her voice harbored neither much concern to speak of, nor interest. Only simple neighborly attention. Oh my God, how much that hurts… And even more when I think of how everything is my fault. How I didn't even deserve that much from her…