Talk
One-Shot
Disclaimers: Assassination Classroom belongs to Matsui Yuusei. Spoilers for anime watchers.
My legs felt unusually heavy. I don't know if it's because of that space trip or…
"Hey" I awkwardly started the conversation, blaming myself because now you will be equally awkward.
"What is it?" You answered, your silly grin accompanied your voice.
A long silence that I wished to avoid.
"What do you think about me?" Blurted out words that I was going to regret soon.
You looked down. I can't tell your expression.
Unlike you, I can't tell what people are thinking just from the look on their face. I envy you.
"Well, I kinda admire you. You are always so free, and look at you makes me feel like I can do what I want to do"
You than smile, and blush, and we both cracked a laugh at how awfully awkward we are.
My heart was suddenly filled with this soft and cozy happiness that I cannot explain.
"What about you?"
For a moment, I couldn't say a word.
"Uhm…"
"I… was scared of your bloodlust. I thought you're harmless, and can never betray me, but… I'm sorry that I suddenly quit becoming friends with you too. I didn't meant to"
I left out the part that I fell in love with you at first sight, and has been ever since. I know your wishes for the future are far different from mine. That's why I hesitant.
And there you are, genuinely smiling again. It's like you know how to make my heart just bursted with your warmth and torture me with it.
"Look at that. Karma, being sincere for once"
You're wrong, and you're right. I'm not the most honest person. Not when it comes to you. Especially right now.
You don't realize it either, but I stare at you from time to time like a creep.
I love you and everything you do, you have, and you are. And I just want to look at you forever.
If it was three years ago, I would never even think of such cheesy things.
Reality have different plans though, and I know we can't continue this for eternity.
So…
"Do you like anyone? The first person on your mind!"
…it's now or never.
Your face was blushing, and I knew right away who you are thinking of.
"Let me guess, is it a girl with green hair and pigtails who you were just smooching up with about 2 months ago?" I teased.
You denied, even when I show you the picture, you denied and denied. Judging from your maddeningly red face though, you were lying.
I, after all, know the truth that hurts me.
I know that you're that one vote for Kayano on the Kyoto field trip.
I know that sometimes you look at her with such care in your eyes like when I look at you.
I know that she's the last one you want to harm
I know she's the first one that you want to protect.
I know you want to fight for her.
I know I'm just a friend.
I know that I have to accept the truth.
You have always wanted to escape from your mother, to be a true guy. A man. To get rid of your traumas and bad memories from before.
I'll just stand in the way.
It would make the least sense for you to ever fall in love with me.
She, Kayano, will fulfill your wishes, not me.
I'll just be your bro, your wingman, your friend, your companion, your partner in crime,… Even though it's a lot, I know it'll never be what I wish for
"Do you like anyone though, Karma?"
You suddenly changed the topic, snickering a bit.
Like you don't know already. It's a miracle that after almost three years of being friends, you still don't notice my feelings, even though you're quite observant.
"No one, really"
A blatant lie.
"What about Okuda, you did said you were interest in her before"
"Yeah, I guess a little bit"
Truly, I'm more interest in you.
Listening to you, who giggles like an elementary student, I smirked.
Then, I suddenly remebered that I had something to give you.
"Here you go"
I handed it over.
A box of strawberry chocolate that I bought this morning.
"Something I have as a left over. Thought you would like some"
Another lie. But at least it's a white lie.
It's actually Valentine tomorrow.
"Thanks" You immediately threw one in your mouth.
Before saying goodbye, you smiled one more time.
It's like you're reminding me of how I fell for you in the first place.
"Goodbye, Karma"
"Goodbye. See you tomorrow"
Under my breath, I whispered: "I love you"
"What was that? Did you say something, Karma?"
"Nothing~"
Author's Note: How are you feeling about Valentine now? Thanks for reading.