Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything related to it.

The Ultimate Prank War

Chapter 1: Prologue

Lily's POV

I hate James Potter.

Well, I've always hated him, but now it's with a deep, burning passion. And not the positive kind, either.

Oh, so you ask why I hate that arrogant toe rag? Good question. It has an answer.

I, Lily Evans, am a top, straight A student. I've never gotten in trouble, had a detention, or stepped out of line. Not even once. You could ask Professor Slughorn; I'm his favorite student ever, and he says he only like good students of high merit.

But, in some puzzling way, James Potter thinks it's funny. Funny that I'm the image of perfect. Funny that there's not one unplaced hair on my head. Funny that I protect my virtue and don't strut around with the head the size of a bursting beach ball. All that is just knee slapping hilarious to him and his partner in crime, Sirius Black.

So, what do immature freaks like them do to innocent girls like me?

That's right. They prank them.

Hex, stun, mortify, whatever you'd like to call it. But they find a way to make my life a living embarrassment. Oh, take a few days ago for instance.

I was walking along with my best friend in the whole entire world, Jadyn Greenfold. We were simply chatting, nothing more or less. It wasn't like we were bothering anyone, especially two messy black haired boys. But, nonetheless, they sauntered up to us in that arrogant way of theirs.

"Hiya, Lilyflower," James had chirped, planting a plastic smile on his face to match Sirius's. Just because James is rumored to have a crush on me does not mean he can call me terms of endearment.

"Shut up, we're not bothering you." Jadyn stuck up for me like a good friend should. That is Jadyn: my loyal, trusted friend until the end.

"Oh, really, Greenfold? Because those books for fun reading you're carrying are giving me a god awful allergy." Sirius pretended to sneeze and sniff uncontrollably. So childish.

James turned towards me. "So, whaddaya say to the day in Hogsmeade this weekend? Go with me?"

I snorted, "After the way you've treated me and Jadyn? No way."

James sighed, faking crestfallenness, and looked up at me with sorrowful hazel eyes. Now, at this point, I should've been smart enough to know what was coming. But being as naïve as I am, I folded my arms and stood my ground.

"Fine, then, go break my heart," James sniffed while Sirius looked on in mock anger. "But… just let me give these to you anyway. Since I'll have to burn them if not."

Sirius grasped a pretty batch of roses in his hands as he dragged them out from behind his back. There were shocking pinks, deep reds, and pure whites. Each petal was smooth and creamy. I tenderly took the flowers from his hands in total awe. They had temporarily stunned me.

That is, until James and Sirius's pretenses turned to smirks and they flicked their wands with a simple incantation.

Pus, the sticky greenish yellow color it was, shot out from the center of every rose. It covered my face and flaming red hair in a gunk as thick as paste. Little boils popped up from every inch of my skin while Jadyn looked on horrified. It hurt like hell; each sprouting boil did. And there was nothing I could do about it while mortified to death.

Meanwhile, James and Sirius guffawed and chuckled as if this was the funniest spectacle they had ever seen in their short-lived lives (that were about to become much shorter). A small group of curious first years gathered around as Slytherins taunted perfect student Lily Evans covered in pus and boils.

Tears formed in my emerald eyes at that point while Jadyn pushed me through the hallway crowds and into the hospital wing. I got treatment immediately but had to stay in mummy coma bandaging for a week in the hospital wing.

It was the worst day of my life… so far.

Now it should be quite obvious why I hate James and Sirius. Mostly James, though. They are rotten old gits who have no right to annoy people like me.

But revenge is crossing my mind now.

How can I get James Potter back? Solutions and plans are crossing my mind every second, most of them being too deadly, dark, or guaranteed a trip to a psychologist. And now, the most brilliant idea has struck me.

A prank. No, a prank war.

If James and Sirius can play dirty, why not me? With the help of Jadyn and a few library books, I could concoct the best prank to fool James and Sirius and to send the warning that Lily Evans is no girl to mess with.

The ultimate prank war is about to begin. Grab a seat, because it's going to get messy.

A/N: I had this idea for a little while now. Please tell me if this has potential and whether or not I should continue.

Read and review please!