•Wide Eyes- Local Natives:
"Oh to see it with my own eyes/All the men of faith and men of science had their questions/Could it ever be on earth as it is in heaven?"
A moment of silence, seemingly stretching on farther than any highway Dean had ever made his way down in his life, followed the words that Dean had just heard.
Much of the time, I'd would rather be here…
"Cas…" Never had a single word, a single syllable, held so much weight upon it as it did now for Dean. The angels eyes were pleading, soft and searching Dean's face for any kind of recognition, any kind of response.
His fingers itched, a spasm that had him clawing the hood of the Impala, suddenly desperate to reach over the car and pull the angel closer. "Cas…we know…" -No, not we…Sam didn't know anything about this.- "you've got a steaming pile on your plate…there's no need for apologies." He couldn't even look Castiel straight in the face, God forbid he did something in front of Sam, who stood solemnly to his side.
"We're your friends." Dean finished, just barely catching the hitch in his breath, swallowing it down hard. It just…hit Dean like a metaphorical car, a shattering impact that left him broken and battered. Castiel wasn't just his friend, the angel was something much closer, his own personal heaven…through the good and the bad, the ugly…Castiel had been that guiding light in Dean's life.
Maybe he wasn't ready for it yet, but somewhere deep within that gaping chasm that was his heart…Dean knew, Castiel was the one.
•Vanille's Theme~The Road Home- Final Fantasy XIII: The Piano Collection
Home, did Castiel really have a home anymore? He could say he had resided many places, from Rome, to Jerusalem, and even a small cabin on Lake Michigan, during his search for his Father. None of those were true homes though, just passing places that Castiel drifted along through. The same even went from Heaven, true…he had been created in the Realm of his Father, but in a sense, Heaven had been or less of a launching pad for Castiel. He had always felt out of place in Heaven with his haphazard wings the colour of the darkest night, so when he was sent to become Dean Winchester's charge, the emigration had been welcomed.
Castiel let a rare smile stretch across his Vessel's features, his Grace swelling at the thought of Dean. Yes, Dean was his home. A place…a person he could go to when ever the future was overcast and hung. Dean's warm smiles and quick wit would always welcome him, even when Dean hid behind a facade of sarcastic banter.
"Cas, are you coming?" The angel turned, seeing Dean lean out the window of his beloved Impala, and the angel nodded curtly, trying to bite back a smile.
"Yes, I am coming…" home, at last…The angel thought.
•Never Think- Robert Pattison
"And save your soul/Save your soul/Before you're too far gone /Before nothing can be done"
Dean Winchester never thought he would be the one helping Cas. No, after the events from two years ago, Dean believed that it would be Castiel, over and over again, that would pull his sorry ass out of every situation he had landed in and always offer his hand.
So when he found the angel, curled up in the corner of the motel room, nursing a bottle of Kettle and murmuring softly to himself, Dean wasn't sure if it was his brotherly instinct that kicked in or if it was something much deeper.
"Cas…" The angels eyes were dull, their usual harshness lost somewhere within a storm of alcohol that the angel had thrown himself into. "Cas, c'mere." He grabbed at the angels shoulders gently, pulling at the twisted trench coat the other man always wore.
"Dean…?" The word was a slur, and Dean had to mask a laugh with a small cough. "Dean, I can't…" Castiel started, trailing off and murmuring in a foreign language. Dean could only guess that it was Enochian, or something else extremely ancient and complex, but then his head snapped in the Dean's direction and his eyes glazed over. "I cannot continue on."
Dean's hand found Cas' curled fingers and pulled the empty bottle from his hands. "Yes you can, you need to stop this…" He insisted and shook the bottle at the angel, who gave him a desperate look.
"I cannot, what point is there, anyways?" Castiel muttered under his breath, and suddenly Dean's fingers were sliding down Cas' arm and tugging him closer, causing the angel to gasp.
"This…this is…" Dean used his free hand to guide Cas' hand to his chest, where his heart beat so loudly that Dean couldn't hear himself think. "So help me, Cas." Dean's voice broke as he felt the man curl his fingers over his chest. He could feel Castiel's other hand slowly making its way to his shoulder, delicate touches and calloused fingers that pulled at the fabric of Dean's shirt, finding their place on the imprint on his shoulder.
"Please…" Cas groaned softly, gripping Dean's sholder tight. And Dean complied, lips finding Castiel's with a tenderness that normally wasn't there, that he had only for his angel.
•Until we Bleed- Lykke Li and Kleerup
"Now we're bound to linger on/We drink the fatal drop/Then love until we bleed/Then fall apart in parts."
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." Castiel pressed his fingers to his temple and let out a pent up sigh, the weight of the world suddenly bearing down on his shoulders. "Father…I need a sign…"
A sign that the choice he was about to make was the right choice and not just a mortal whim.
Falling, for a human. Dean Winchester no less. Castiel's first and only charge. Castiel realized that the term "falling" did not just apply to the sense that he would take the final step away from Heaven, a leap of faith, but that he had also "fallen" in love with Dean.
Human emotions, half Jimmy's unawsered desires, half what Castiel had gained and experienced during his time on the Earth plane, thanks to Dean. The pulled at his Grace teasingly and threw him for the loop. Love…a word that he had never quite experienced before, he had felt adoration before, even longing. A longing for attention from his brothers and sisters…but never love.
Did Dean feel them? Castiel could only pray to find the anwser. "Amen…"
•Now, Now- St. Vincent
"I'm not the pawn to your king/I'm not your world on a string/I'm not anyone you'll beat/I'm not any/any/any/anything."
Sword of Michael, his ass. Dean Winchester could not believe the nerve of some angels. They actually believed that he would give into their little game, become some kind of piece to their complex puzzle, and just give up. Give up was not part of the Winchester dictionary, no siree.
"Cas, I really hate your 'friends'." Dean muttered under his breath, watching as the angels head slowly tilted the side, his brow furrowing as he processed what Dean had said.
"My brothers and sisters…they are not my friends." Apparently, the sarcasm hadn't been noted by the angel, causing Dean to snort and roll his eyes. Castiel shifted on the motel bed, pulling his trench coat tighter around him as he met Dean's eyes uncertainly "I…I would have the pleasure in calling you my friend…"
Dean paused from where he was pulling a new shirt out of his duffel, friend…The way Castiel said it had been so innocent, so Cas of him. "What about Sam?" Dean asked softly, watching as the angel's face scrunched up for a moment.
"S-sam as well." Castiel finally mustered, and Dean could swear there was a dusting of colour on the the angels pale, stubbled cheeks. God, Cas could be so…cute sometimes.
OH, Hell no! He had not just thought that about another man, another celestial man. He was so going to Hell again, he just knew it. "You're my friend too, Cas." Dean shook of his inner turmoil and shot Castiel a winning smile, which Cas shakily at first…then steadily…returned.
"Thank you Dean." With those words, Dean suddenly found himself with two armfuls of angel, his hair tickling the bridge of Dean's nose.
"C-Cas?" Dean's voice was tight, and he didn't know whether he should hold the angel tighter or push him away. It didn't help when Castiel sighed so warmly on Dean's neck either.
"I watched the television last night, I believe this is what friends do." Castiel offered, his lips grazing over the vein in Dean's neck, causing the other man's breath to hitch. "Correct?"
"Y-yes." Dean breathed, "b-but Cas, do you know what else friends do?" How could the Angel not hear his heart? It was bound to beat straight out of his chest at this rate.
"What, Dean." Cas looked up at Dean with those damn blue, searching eyes of him and Dean couldn't help but smile as he leaned in closer towards the angel.
"This…" and with that, Dean kissed Cas, and kept smiling when the angel didn't push him away.
Yea, friends…