Disclaimer: The only Heero I have is my cat and he spells it Hiro. GW so not mine and so not filling my empty pockets.
Characters/Pairing: Hilde, Relena, background 1x2
Content: angst of the melancholy variety, a couple naughty-ish words
Summary: Sometimes reality catches up to a girl.
Word Count: 1302
Archive: ff.n, my site, and my fandom/ficcish journal
Feedback: Appreciated!
Notes: An unexpected take on the prompt, for sure. I was quite surprised to find the girls speaking to me. :D
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A VERY PUBLIC AFFAIR
by McJ
Hilde sat slumped in the hard, wooden chair she'd automatically taken when Relena asked her to sit and talk. She sighed out her growing despondence, settling her chin into cupped palms, elbows rested on her knees. The floor made for good unfocused staring, as unassuming and plain as the speckled beige vinyl tiling was – the city-run convention center was not the height of luxury, chosen instead for being large enough to hold functions with expansive guest lists.
Beside her, Relena sat much more ladylike, ankles delicately crossed and shoved back under the single rung between the front two legs of her own chair. The way she kept her hands neatly placed in her lap was enough in itself to make Hilde feel kind of trashy.
"What was it you wanted to talk about?" she asked, the gloom of her disposition tainting the words. A quick glance showed Relena was not immune to the tone – the concerned wrinkling between her brows and slight scrunching of her nose told all.
Relena's hand brushed against her left arm for a moment as she spoke. "I was wondering if you'd like to talk about whatever has you so blue."
That explains being dragged into a private room at a very public affair, Hilde thought, too depressed to even snort at the revelation. She peered over at the closed door on the far wall, noting the turned lock, and took in the tightly closed, blind-covered windows on her right. Shifting back in the chair, Hilde slumped in an even less prim fashion, knees shifted wide and rear barely hanging onto the edge of the seat. She ran a hand through her dark hair, mussing what had been carefully coiffed, a billowed breath upward shifting the loose locks that dropped back across her forehead.
"It's Duo," she admitted, hands slinging now along the crease of pelvis meeting thigh, the khaki linen of her trousers rough against the soft skin lining the inside of her wrists.
The look in Relena's soft blue eyes was knowing and sympathetic – exactly the things Hilde really didn't want to deal with. "What about him? He hasn't done anything horrible to you, has he?"
"No," Hilde answered, frowning, "and that's the problem. He hasn't done anything at all to me, good or bad. I've made sure there's been plenty of opportunity for things to happen, even."
"Oh?"
"Yeah." Hilde wiggled her knees a little and flexed her toes, the stiff leather of her new shoes tight and uncomfortable. "What am I doing wrong? I've been a good girl, a bad girl, a hard ass that won't take no for an answer... Every time I think I'm getting somewhere, though, I am totally cockblocked-"
A small, embarrassed cough made Hilde look over at Relena, finding her cheeks tinted nearly cherry red and a lightly curled fist daintily pressed over her mouth. While Hilde had no doubt of Relena's exposure to coarse language, Hilde normally knew better than to thrust it upon her unnecessarily.
"-um, sorry," she quickly apologized with a brief tightening of her thighs as she drew her legs closer together again. Relena made a small gesture with her hand, as if sweeping the verbal mishap under the rug. A tiny smile urged Hilde to go on, again the sympathy almost overwhelming the moment – did no one understand how belittled that made her feel? She gave into another sigh and corrected her speech. "Make that totally and completely brushed off. It's like he doesn't even notice that I'm interested in him!"
The thoughtful downturn that touched Relena's mouth suggested something much more than sympathy. Her shoulders slumped a bit, joining Hilde's in a shared despair. "Oh, Hilde," she mourned, "you and I are in the same situation. Or, rather, you're in the situation I used to be in."
Hilde turned to look at her with a jerk of her chin. "What do you mean?"
"Have you stepped back and watched Duo from a distance, with unbiased eyes?" Relena asked, her gaze sincere.
"I don't understand," Hilde said. "I've watched Duo for years at this point, Relena. He's the one for me, I'm sure of it. I feel it here," she patted a hand over her clenching heart, denying the rejection that held the beating organ tight, "and all through me. I can't be wrong with something this strong. How he doesn't feel it, too, is what I can't figure out."
"Hilde," Relena started, rising to her feet, "come with me. There's something you need to see." She held out her hand and, with great reluctance, Hilde accepted the assistance to her own.
Relena lead her toward the door and out into the echoing corridor. Turning down the stretch leading away from the main dance hall, Hilde couldn't help but question her. "What is it? It's something I'm not going to like, isn't it?"
A relative quiet descended between them, a silent confirmation of Hilde's suspicions. Before Hilde could protest, however, Relena paused at a window that looked out over the broad, snowy lawn a floor below and spoke. "The problem is, Hilde, that you're too busy applying for the position to notice that it's already been filled. Look down there, under the third light."
The clenching around her heart grew to the pressure of the compactor used in the scrapyard. She, with the slowness of a snail, approached the window and peered out, looking where Relena directed. In the amber light of the tall lamps lining the entrance walk, third pair back from the lobby doors, stood a pair of recognizable figures. Even dressed in heavy winter garb and their faces mostly hidden from view by thick knit scarves, it was unmistakably Duo with his arms wrapped securely behind the neck of Heero as they laughed at some unknowable joke. Their misting breath rose, lumbering around their heads and shoulders through the frozen air like a cat with a too full belly.
They were close enough that Hilde could just make out their cold-pinked noses touching.
She trailed her gaze down, taking in the way Heero's gloved hands held place comfortably at Duo's hips, knowing them even through the bulk of a winter coat. The press of their bodies, from mingled legs back up through melded torsos, spoke to Hilde of missed chances, if only for herself. And Relena. With the final twist of a sharp boot heel to her already tightly squeezed heart, Hilde finally understood Relena's references to a shared situation.
"This isn't new, is it?" Hilde asked, drooping against the window sill. "They've been together awhile now and I just didn't see it, right?"
Relena gave her a sad smile and nodded. "Yes. It was some time after Heero returned from his...leave of absence after the Barton incident. I didn't have a chance and would have been crushed if I hadn't realized so before stumbling on something very much like this."
Hilde let her forehead bump against the chilled glass, her breath fogging up the space before her eyes for a moment before the heat of the corridor swept it away. Her gaze narrowed, a glum frown turning down her mouth as she watched the two men outside settle into an extended kiss. With purpose, she blew on the glass again, creating a large circle of fog, blocking the view from sight as she turned away. She crossed her arms over her chest and glanced at Relena. "So, what does a girl do when the guy of her dreams has a guy of his own?"
Relena caught her elbow and tugged her back toward the brightly lit dance hall situated just beyond the room in which they'd sought privacy. "She dances, Hilde. Whether alone or with her eyes on the lookout for a different partner, she dances."
END