You know the kind of guy who does nothing but bad things then wonders why his life sucks? Well, that was me. Every time something good happened to me something bad was always waiting around the corner. Karma. That's when I realized I had to change. So I made a list of all the bad things I've done and, one by one, I'm going to make up for all my mistakes. I'm just trying to be a better person; my name is Earl.
Me n' Randy were at the Crab Shack borrowing some of Darnell's cinnamon for this thing called the Cinnamon Challenge he told us about.
"Hey Earl, watch this, I'm gonna pour all this cinnamon into my hands and then into my mouth!" Randy eagerly said to Earl. Randy poured the shaker of cinnamon into his hands, and his smile turned to a frown as the cinnamon went through his fingers onto the floor. Earl looked over.
"Damn it, Randy, how many times do I have to tell you that you gotta cup your hands when pourin' stuff into it? It's just like water! I showed you!" Earl exclaimed. Randy stared at the cinnamon, sulking.
"I swear Earl; you had different water than me..." He sighed.
Randy was having a few troubles with his cinnamon, but I was about to go for it. Just then, Joy ran in...
"Hey, Dummy, come over here for a sec!" she shouted. Both Randy and Earl stood up.
"No, no, no, mustache dummy!" she shouted again. Randy felt his face for a few seconds.
"I think she means you, Earl..." he said innocently. Earl walked over and sat down with Joy.
"Aight, I was at the Bargain Bag today, and you'll never guess what I saw."
At that moment, not even my first 500 guesses would've been right. And believe me, I've got them memorized just in case someone asks...
Earlier...
Joy walked into the Bargain Bag wearing a large grey trench coat. As she entered, a security guard stopped her.
"Ma'am...is there any reason why you're wearing such a heavy jacket in 98 degree weather?" asked the guard. Joy turned around and scowled.
"Mind your own beeswax, dammit!" she sneered and walked off in a huff.
See, Joy was in the Bargain Bin wearin' a coat in 98 degree weather because she was looking to steal something. What she ended up seeing was something in the electronics. A video game. Randy and I had never played one of them new video games, only the Segatendo, or whatever it was called. It was a little game by the name of Skate 3, a skateboardin' game. Which brought me to #261 on my list: Stole Coach Frank's Identity. Seemed like I had a bit of a problem stealing people's identity, like I did with Joy's sister, but this was much worse than stealing a wallet.
Joy walked up to the television with the Skate 3 demo playing. As the in-game Coach Frank barked at a created skateboarder, Joy stared at the screen.
"Oh...snap..."