Summary: She welcome the pain like it´s was her duty, she took it and made it joy. Draco saw her every day. Hermione Granger was nothing more but strong. Narcissa Malfoy also saw, how her son fall for the witch. Ironic how family curses can damage you and in the end show you happiness.
Chapter One: Embrace your fear, that way it might go away.
" The heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good"
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
The wind is cold in my face. Probably I had not been thinking straight when I agreed to meet him here. Maybe I had, but my mind is not so clear these days - it is all a blur consisting of tears and pain.
The war was over and we were building our lives, we have pain; we have lost our loved ones and we are still suffering.
We feel. I feel how the heat in my body tries to warm me. I´m happy that I can feel everything because it means I'm alive. But I also feel pain and it is the bad side of it.
He told me that he needed to see me and that it was important. I know the reason. We all know why they are here, they are asking for our help. Not all of them.
There are some kids playing with their toy brooms, they know nothing about life, they know nothing about the war, and most importantly, they do not know about heartache, not yet.
He´s already here, I can see him, he's watching the kids playing.
The biggest problem in all this? I am tired of everything that has happened.
The war has changed me. I think it has changed all of us.
My heart is in so much pain, it has been like that since the end of the war. Our wands are weapons and we used them to destroy, we are the same, Muggles and Wizards, we destroy and it costs to all of us more than we can imagine. I despise destruction, it makes my heart suffer.
He makes his way to me, takes two steps back and smiles. I see him taking his wand and performing a warming charm. It is cold outside, but I don't use my wand to warm myself. It is not how I usually am, it is just me being lazy now and I've never permitted myself to be like that till today.
The sun is burning, but the cold wind is winning the battle. It is stronger and I think he is also that way. I don't know him as a person. I only know the rumors around. Draco is on probation and Lucius is in Azkaban.
And I know that day he didn´t stop to help people, but they say he didn´t kill, and that is also very important. I must say I don't agree with that fully, this reason is not logical to me and it´ll never be.
But maybe I am wrong, people can change and I'm here because of that, I have to believe that Draco Malfoy can change. I also know Ms. Malfoy is not healthy but again this are just rumors. But to tell the truth I am here because of my morbid satisfaction.
It sounds wrong but I have a dark side too and even if I try and not listen to it, is there and I want to know what Malfoy wants. It must be important if he asked to see me; he hates me. I am sure this is almost painful for him.
His greeting is short, calm almost a whisper.
"Granger." He sounds sad, maybe he has lost too.
"Malfoy." My greeting is polite enough, but not friendly. We are not friends.
"You know why I asked you to meet me here? " He is staring at something, not looking into my eyes. And this time he sounds bored.
"I must tell you I don't know why we are here. " I keep my voice as calm like he does.
"I'm not doing it for me, I´m doing it for the only person I truly love, you know."
"So you love too… funny." I am sarcastic because I don't want to feel sympathy for him.
"Yes, I love my mother and I need you to help her."
That I know because I've listened Narcissa Malfoy helped Harry and she did it for the one person she truly loves, her son - the only thing worth living for anymore. So I guess Malfoy has to love his mother too. Molly did the same too … she killed Bellatrix for love. Molly loves her family. It may be why I did things too. Love!! Always Dumbledore's favorite reason, now I believe is a bit ironic.
"Why doesn't she talk with someone about all this?"
He pauses before answering, he´s thinking and I am thinking as well. Why isn't Narcissa Malfoy asking for help? Pride?
"She is dying and she won´t fight any more, I love her and for me it´s important, because she is my mother and I want her to die on her own bed, not in Azkaban."
I didn´t know it was so serious, so is not pride. Her reason is not pride she just doesn´t want to do anything for herself anymore.
"I didn´t know she is dying." I try to sound like I don´t care. But deep down I do. I know how someone can fell when the person you love the most is dying.
"Yes, she is. She has been cursed. The curse is like a small part of the Killing Curse. It doesn´t kill you in the moment but it will kill you slowly and painfully."
"Can you do something about it?" I didn´t know about that curse.
"Apparently no, but I am doing everything I can, even if it is just to make her more comfortable."
"And what exactly you need from me?" I asked out of curiosity, I told myself.
"I need you to go to the hearing, and persuade Potter to go, too to testify, and to tell them she didn't curse you in our house and for Potter to remind them of what she did for him."
"I don't think it is a good idea for us to do this. What do we get from helping you?"
I look at his face and it´s begging me to help him, for her, for the love they share.
"I am not sure of that. I think you will get nothing but the pure satisfaction of helping, isn´t that your favorite hobby?"
I am sending him my most hateful glare. "No, Malfoy it isn´t my favorite hobby to see ferrets like yourself begging for my help." He coughs cleaning his throat. A slight laugh escapes him.
"Granger, you are a funny person, but I think I´m right." I think he tried to make a joke. Now that is just bizarre.
Somewhere in between his cough and my stare I made up my mind.
"I´ll do it, I will. But I must speak with Harry first and then we´ll see…"
His features are somehow changed, he seems less evil, but the devil can have a lot of faces and so does Draco Malfoy.
I keep repeating to my own ears: love. I am being absurd. Helping Narcissa Malfoy could help me too. To heal and to feel happy again. And for some even more absurd reason I believe it to be true. I'm doing it for the love of everything I know.
Now the hard part is coming to my senses. I have to tell Harry that I have agreed to help the Malfoys.
"Thank you, I will be sure to thank you in a most graceful way."
Is it a threat? I don´t think it is, he doesn't like me and I am pretty sure that he is in pain, too. He's fighting his mother's battle, he´s done it before. He does not like me, but he is here because he has no other choice, I´m his only way to fix some of the mess in their lives.
"I don´t know the date yet." I said quietly.
"We can meet; you can talk to my mother in a few days, just so she can tell you her reasons. I am sure it is important for you." I can't stop noticing the sadness in his voice, something is telling me not to listen, it is dangerous; if I go there I´m not coming back.
"Well, thank you again, it´s been a pleasure to see you."
He is walking to the Apparition point, his face has again changed and the evil has returned. And I´m in pain, so much pain, I can't stand it, and I stay here for another two hours before I go home. Just to fell the wind because time to time I need to remember I am alive.
Harry has been taking pain potions, I know and Ron does it too, and also they have begun to talk more, I haven't. I step to the room somehow scared of what I´m here to say, I put my blue cardigan in the armchair and smell the air in the house. All is the same, the walls, the furniture, the rooms, but we are not.
Harry notices me when I turn to go to the kitchen, he says hello and tells Ron something about going to little Teddy and playing with him. Ron takes his wand and the room becomes brighter.
"I need to talk to you both, it is very important." I said from the kitchen, I am making some coffee. I do it as distraction from what I'm here to say. To show them I still love them. And nothing will ever change it. Not even helping Draco Malfoy will ever change that. I love them so much.
Ron is the first to stand up and follows me to the kitchen; Harry goes to the loo first. We sit, and with trembling hands I take a sip of my coffee, what is going to happen when I tell them? I don't know but I have to do it.
"I agreed to do something and I think you are not going to like it." I spoke as calm as possible.
Harry was the first to speak and he sound already angry with me. "And what would that be?"
"I saw Malfoy today." I hoped they wouldn't note the fear in my voice.
"I knew you were out, but I had no idea that you went to wizarding London." Ron is always worried about me, it is sweet of him.
"So you saw the ferret boy and then what…?" Harry is really angry now.
"We talked… about his mother."
Harry gave me a shocked stare. I think he knows what this is all about.
"And? " Ron asked, his manly voice is shaking a bit.
"He wants us to help him." I feel like I am talking out of my body. Because Harry seems still shocked, and Ron is tomato red. And I want to run away.
I knew in that in this exact moment everything is going wrong, I should've not said it so fast, I should've warmed the conversation a little, and then it might have been better, possibly not but it wouldn´t had hurt to try.
Harry is speaking, the anger is his voice is icy cold it, scares me a little, "He is not worth our help."
I know but I'm going to do it… for myself and maybe, a little for another woman that loves.
But it went so bad.
I knew it would be, but hey!! Give me some credit. I explained myself after the shouting and yelling and even Molly thinks it is something good. I am going to prove even if people hurt you, you can still be the better one and help them when they are in need.
Arthur thinks this is silly, especially if I might try to change people; it´s just silly as it is impossible to change people. Well it depends who we are talking about? He asked and when Ron told him it is the Malfoys I am going to help he just kept on repeating: silly.
I´ll wait and they will help him too. They know better and I sure they are like me. Harry and Ron will help them too. They have good hearts and are the most fantastic and loving people I ever known. (Who are those they? Without knowing it, it makes me confused.) Do well and don't choose who you are doing it for. Maybe. I hope anyway.