Title: Learning to Run
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not a thing.
Part #8 of the "Learning" Series. Oneshot.
Azkadellia stroked the glossy, golden coat of her Akhal-Teke gelding. She had given the witch's black stallion away; the animal wasn't to blame for anything, but she couldn't - wouldn't - ever ride him again. The animal the grooms had just saddled was magnificent and elegant. Solaris, she had dubbed him, and he already knew and responded to his name.
"Are you ready, highness?" Jeb Cain looked down at her from the back of his grey Andalusian, Whirlwind.
He was perfectly in control of the animal. She had heard rumors that he could ride bareback, as could his father; She knew from conversation that his paternal grandfather had been a rancher and a horse breeder.
Even though Jeb Cain had spent his early childhood raised in the city, he still had a natural seat.
And oh what a seat it was, Az blushed at the way her thoughts ran, "Yes. I believe I am." She looked at the groom, who nodded.
Solaris was maneuvered to the mounting block and she placed one foot into the stirrup and looped the other over the horn of her sidesaddle. Her skirts were arranged demurely before she urged her mount to stand beside Jeb's.
Gregory, her loyal greyhound, moved to trot alongside the horse. She hadn't the heart to tell him to stay there. He was built to run and exercise; this would be perfect for him if he avoided getting too close to the legs and hooves of the horses.
Besides that, he still bore the spell that would set off alarms in the guard wing if he was more than the length of the palace grounds away from his mistress. No need for false alarms to annoy the guards until they returned.
"I wish we could ride alone." Her face was wistful.
We, not I. Jeb allowed himself a small smile.
"If you will recall, just having guards along the path led your sister and my father to be attacked almost a year ago." Jeb kept his voice light, but his intent was serious.
"And if that hadn't happened, they might still be dancing around each other," Az laughed.
He loved to hear her laugh. She so seldom did.
So they rode out of the stables with two mounted guards ahead of them and two behind. They maintained a respectful distance, but not so much that they couldn't cover the princess in two seconds if need be. Their horses moved at a comfortable walk.
The woods were not silent. Autumn was at its peak and there was the sound of dry leaves falling onto the bed of the already-fallen littering the forest floor. The sound of squirrels and chipmunks skittering through, looking for supplies, was almost peaceful. Overhead was the song of birds that wintered over, so accustomed to riders on these trails they no longer silenced or startled. The reds, yellows and browns painted the scene in warm colors.
The greyhound was surprisingly well-behaved. Not once did he take off after the sound or sight of small woodland creatures even though his ears pricked upwards and he paused to look each time.
That the crisp leaves would warn of any unexpected approach was something the princess need not be aware of.
Jeb noticed how the light breeze ruffled the princess's short hair. Her hair is shorter than mine, he mused. Yet, it oddly suited her.
"Did you learn to ride on you're grandfather's ranch?" Az had her attention on the young man beside her more than the tranquil woods.
"Visits there were always working vacations. I learned to ride, muck, bale and herd by the time I was nine. And that was with two two-week stays a year and occasional weekends." Jeb offered her a full smile. Those were easy days to remember, softened by time so any bits disliked faded and the good always came to the forefront.
"When I was nine, I was learning the proper forms of address for the rulers and major court members for every country that had any sort of contact with us. I was also learning to sneak away to the library to read the FUN books under the corner table. Oh, and that toddlers chew the hands and feet of all your favorite dolls." Azkadellia smiled brightly.
"I wouldn't know about toddlers and dolls. I wasn't the type to play with dolls, though I did have a set of metal toy soldiers, some even rode separate horses. My experience with toddlers, and any kids, really, was usually one night's worth before they were sent along to safe houses or over the border." Jeb snapped his mouth shut, realizing he had just stepped out of the safe conversation of comparative early childhood.
Az looked down at her skirt. "It's all right, Jeb. I can't just pretend it never happened."
And that was the problem, wasn't it? The nightmares, the self injury, the refusal to use any kind of magic other than the protective thing she did when holding DG's hand. Sometimes she couldn't see BEYOND it.
She'd had moments of happiness, periods of being carefree, but they were few and far between. She often felt guilty for having them afterwards.
"No, you can't pretend it never happened. But you can move on. You managed to escape and fight back in the end, Az. Don't let her win after the fact and turn your back on actually living. You won, you deserve to celebrate that victory." Jeb felt himself sigh. He was concerned that she might spend the rest of her life mostly in the past.
He had done his share of that. Anger, instead of depression. The past, as much as the present, fueling his determination. However, after the witch, he had come to realize he'd never know peace if he couldn't move forward and seek a future. It had taken two months with a week in the end of the first month at the bottom of a bottle. But sense, and his father literally kicking him in the ass, had helped.
Az had her family, but she likely felt they had an obligation through blood to forgive her.
"I don't hold you responsible." He couldn't touch her arm, as he wanted to.
"I think, I've become comfortable in this place in my heart. It's been familiar for a year. It's something to cling to, even if it hurts." Azkadellia's voice was small and childlike.
In many ways she was still a child. Azkadellia had just seen the first blush of puberty when her life was snatched away. Part of her had never been able to grow up, to learn to be independent. Both of them had lost their childhoods too soon. But where he grew up too fast, she was kept a scared little girl to control her.
In a very real way, he was the older between them: age itself didn't even fit into it.
"We all have to reach out of our comfort zone at some point." He dipped his head, trying to see her eyes.
Even with her head downcast, she could see him in her peripheral vision. She turned to face him. "You know it's very difficult to maintain a good wallow around you."
He grinned. "Then I'll have to try and spend more time in your company."
She got a mischievous look in her eyes, the kind her sister often got. It looked good on her. "Only if you can keep up with me."
She leaned forward, almost against her hooked knee, the leg in the stirrup kicked at Solaris's side, and the horse surged forward.
"Damnit, Az!" Jeb spurred Whirlwind to go after her.
Gregory sped up to full greyhound-speed, barking happily.
The guards cursed as well as they set off at a run. Barely keeping up with the two others.
Luckily, it was hard to race for a distance sidesaddle, especially against an excellent rider.
Jeb swung his horse to the side as soon as he passed the princess, forcing her mount to stop.
"That was dangerous." He didn't like that she put herself in danger by outpacing her guards.
"That was exhilarating!" she laughed. "And you know what? I don't feel the least bit guilty about it."