Hey! This is my first real fanfiction on here, so bare with me. I love criticism, as long as it's constructive, and I really don't care for flamers, but, like I said, if it's constructive, go for it! I don't own Batman, the Joker, or any other of those characters. I only own the original characters. Enjoy! :)
It's Kara Marie. Not Kara, and certainly not Mary. Kara Marie. To Kara Marie, a person screwing up her name was annoying as hell, yet of course it happened every day. Really, why couldn't her parents just have given her one first name?
"Ouch! Hey, get your foot out of my face!" she whispered harshly to Vincent.
"Well, sorry, love! If you haven't noticed I'm not exactly in the most pleasant position myself!"
he chuckled in his smooth accent. At the present moment, he was squeezed between a garbage can and a desk that looked as if it would collapse at any moment. His blond hair was slightly disheveled from leaning against the unstable desk.
"Umm…. Kara Marie, would you please move a little to the left? My leg's asleep."
"Sorry Graham!"
"Whoever is talking, shut your goddamn mouth!"
Kara Marie tried to ignore the harsh voice of the robber as she twisted her head slightly to the left and scooted over a little. Her nose crinkled in distaste as she considered how filthy the bank's floors must have been.
Poor Graham.
Graham had just been a tag-along from the start. He had even used his lunch break from his taxi shift to come have lunch with them. Now he lay sprawled out on the floor of the bank, underneath one of his few girl friends, and the British twit who couldn't shut his mouth if his life depended on it. In this case, it likely did.
"Good God. Could the man just hurry up? I've got my next class in twenty minutes, and I still haven't eaten lunch!"
Oh, there went Vincent, the ceaseless smart ass.
"We're being held up at a bank by the most notorious criminal in Gotham, and all you can think about is missing lunch?" Kara Marie snapped in a whisper. She rubbed her temple with one hand as her other arm propped her up. She brushed the strands of her shoulder-length brown hair out of her eyes.
Vincent shrugged and gave a grin.
"Relax. The gunman closest to us is useless. The chap's shaking more than Graham here!"
"Hey!" Graham frowned despondently.
"Whoever's still stupid enough to be talking, just shut your damn mouth!" a gunman with a particularly gravelly voice boomed.
"Damn, he must be smoking something terrible to have a voice like that." Vincent commented in an undertone, his green eyes flickering from Graham to Kara Marie.
"Alright, YOU! What's your name?" the amateur gunman with the gravelly voice yelled to Vincent.
"The name's Graham Cruz." Vincent said with his serious face.
"Oh no, it isn't! He's Vincent Turner." Graham twisted around.
"See, Graham, this is why I never take you anywhere with me. You can't bloody act!"
"I don't give a damn who you are! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!" the useless gunman boomed in his unmelodious voice.
"Well, mate, you may not get an A in bank robbing, but every time you talk, somewhere a puppy dies."
The robber clenched his fists and was almost visibly shaking with anger. Yet, he froze, and acted as if he was suddenly afraid.
"Jesus Christ, Vincent! You're gonna get us killed!"
"Well, ah, what do we have here?"
Everyone froze. Vincent's features were stolid, but there was unmistakable glint of fear in his eyes. Kara Marie swallowed hard. The voice was coming from behind her, but there was no need to turn around to know whom its owner was. The Joker himself.
She let out a slight squeak of surprise and fear when a pair of hands roughly yanked her up from behind.
Shit.
"It seems that we, ah, have a few trouble makers over here. I guess I'll just take your short little brunette friend here and, ah, be on my way," the Joker grinned maliciously and pulled the little brunette's back to his chest, before putting a gun to her temple. He grabbed the girl by the arm and roughly pulled her along towards the exit route.
"Com'on toots."
He smirked to himself. Hostages were always the best way to go, the coppers never even thought to shoot if he used one as a shield, and if they did they would be seen as a public disgrace, immoral. Either way, it was a win-win.
Kara Marie frowned, in discomfort and with slightly hurt pride.
I'm not that short…Stupid tall person…Stupid tall clown.
The Joker gave a sharp yank on her arm, pulling her in from of him and bringing both of her arms behind her back with one hand. The cold metal of the gun's barrel on her temple made logical thinking nearly impossible, so she said something stupid.
"You don't have to be so pushy, you know. People might like you better if you were a little more polite."
The Joker hesitated, cocking his head to the side and giving her an incredulous look. Then he broke out into laughter.
"Ha ha ha ha ha. Wow, I've gotten a lot of weird responses to me over the years, but I don't think anyone's ever tried to give me advice on making friends. Especially with a gun's barrel to their head,"
She couldn't see his expression, but she guessed he was grinning.
"I get that reaction a lot…" she mumbled. He chuckled.
"You know what? I like you! I'm still going to kill you, but I like you!" he cackled as he shoved her out the door.
The next moments were nothing but a haze. After being dragged down a flight of stairs, and pushed face first into at least three doors, her vision began to blur. The frigid air bit her cheeks as the last door swung open. Two more armed clowns appeared and roughly grabbed Kara Marie by the upper arms.
"Ouch! Someone's rude," she muttered giving the pair sidelong glares.
Of all days, why did I have to go to the bank today? She found herself asking. She gave a muted grunt when she was suddenly pushed against the side of an unmarked white van.
"Okay boys, she's all yours. Shoot her, have a little fun with her, I don't care, just, ah, get rid of her!" the Joker said in a low voice, before letting out a high-pitched cackle. He climbed into the van a few feet away from the one Kara Marie was shoved against. She winced at the sharpness of the laugh, and her eyes widened, realizing the depth of his words.
"You know, that really isn't necessary. If you don't mind, I really need to be on my way…" she laughed nervously, then suddenly darting to the left. In a blur, one of the clowns grabbed her from the side and slammed her into the van. She clenched her side of impact and fell to her knees as she tried to regain air. The blow had knocked the wind out of her, and judging by the pain, she guessed that the man might have bruised a rib.
Yeah thanks. A simple "no" really would have sufficed…
She said nothing, but used the van to stand. After a moment, she shakily regained her balance. As soon as she straightened up, she was met by a gun's barrel. She looked at it wide eyed, then back to the two clowns.
"Okay, here's how it's gonna go down, sweets," the clown with the gun stepped toward, moving his gun to her temple and standing far too close for comfort. She began to feel claustrophobic between him and the van.
"Uh, lucky for you, you're not too bad lookin' for a hostage, so if you, uh, satisfy or needs, then we might just make your death a quick and painless one."
A low laugh resonated from the two. Kara Marie scoffed at them, narrowing her eyes.
"Oh, get a life, dickhead. Don't you have some innocent kitten to maul or something?" the words were out of her mouth before she'd realized it.
"Oh, you're in for it now you little bitch," he growled.
Wow. This is it. This is where my life ends.
"Stop! This is immoral, in the name of all that is good and happy, stop!"
Now all three looked to the source of the voice.
"What the hell is that?" the man furthest from Kara Marie said, turning to the source.
A girl who looked to be around Kara Marie's age stood with her hands on her hips, and she wore an outfit that was cute and showed off her curves, but was completely impractical, and likely got in her way. Her platinum blond hair fell in perfect waves to her waist, and it had small streaks of pink scattered throughout. The oddest, and in Kara Marie's opinion, the creepiest of her features was that one eye was an unnaturally bright blue, and the other was dark brown.
"Umm…Miss, I think you must be lost. The Playboy Mansion isn't anywhere near here," the clown facing her chuckled.
"I'm not looking for the Playboy Mansion, but thanks for the tip!" she laughed. Kara Marie though it sounded like gumdrops. She didn't even know what gumdrops sounded like. If gave her the oddest sensation of wanting to puke.
"Now, it's not very polite to push a girl around like that," she frowned in a pout, "I'm going to have to punish you for being so rude."
The clown cracked up. "Oh no, I'm so scared. See Benny, I'm so bad she's gonna have to punish me!" the clown snorted. The strange blond gave an indignant, "hmp," and snapped her fingers.
The clown vanished. Just vanished. Gone. The clown called 'Benny' looked at me, then the girl, then where his buddy had been.
"Where is he? You're crazy! Psycho!" Benny's hand began shaking and he dropped the gun, backing up. He stumbled over a trashcan and face planted on the concrete. He stumbled into a clumsy run. "Crazy!" he yelled disappearing into the depths of Gotham.
Silence.
Well…that went better than I thought…
Kara Marie turned her head back to where the girl had been.
"Ah! Oh my God!"
The girl was now less than a foot away from her, her mismatched eyes staring at Kara Marie blankly, and a blindingly white smile.
"Hi!"
"Um…Hello."
Kara Marie stared at her relatively curious, and slightly terrified.
"Uh, thank you for helping me back there."
"Oh, anytime! What's your name? Do you want to be my friend? OMG! You could be like the sister I never had!" she girl squealed with glee. Kara Marie blinked, taken off guard by her strange enthusiasm.
"My name's Kara Marie. Sure? Who are you?"
"I'm so rude! I'm sorry, my name's Suzanne Stardust Hope Nigma Destiny Napier Wayne, but everyone just calls me Sue! I'm a sixteen year-old runaway orphan, the long lost cousin of Bruce Wayne, and the Joker's future wife! Everyone loves me, and really, why wouldn't they? Because I'm perfect!" she giggled, clapping her hands.
Kara Marie cocked her head to the side, did this crazy chick really think everyone loved her? She frowned. She knew there was a word for this kind of person, but if only she could think of it….
"OMG, we could go get manicures together and get frozen yogurt, and go to the mall, and then—"
"Mary-Sue!" Kara Marie snapped in triumph. "That's what you are! It makes perfect sense now!"
Sue titled her head in seemingly labored thought.
"Well, of course we are! I'm Sue, and you're Kara Marie. OMFG we could be team Mary-Sue!" she said, her giddy excitement radiating from her.
"Umm…I don't think that's a very good idea."
"Oh, fine. We'll be team Marie-Sue then!"
"Right." Kara Marie said with a weak smile. It simply wasn't worth arguing with such an ignorant creature.
"Okay! We're going to be best friends forever and ever and ever and ever and EVER."
Somehow Kara Marie found a rather creepy note in the sentence.
"But first, let's get out of this filthy place. I think my future lover's men will be here soon to pick up the van!"
Does she have to be so energetic about everything?
With that Sue grabbed her by the hand and tossed her hair in slow motion. Then they were transported to heaven knows where. Kara Marie gave Sue a sidelong glance with her brown eyes. Well, it was more like she was looking up at her, considering Sue had to be at least 5'7 and she…well, wasn't close. Knowing that Sue was a sue she had to be very careful, otherwise it could rub off on her.
She knew what she had to do to avoid becoming the mindless creature that Sue was…. Time to show Sue just how much people hate a sue…