Title: Ralph "Stalks" Casey

Rated T

Summary: After an embarrassing defeat, Ralph has a plan to get revenge on Casey Venturi. Based off my favorite scene from Boy Meets World. Dasey:Shemily Ralph centric one-shot!

Disclaimer: I do not own Life with Derek

A/N: After watching my favorite scene of Boy Meets World again, (I haven't seen it in years), this idea came to mind. Obviously, I'm not following it word for word from the scene for that would be plagiarism. Instead, I broke it into two parts: the prelude aka background information about the plot and then the actual one-shot. It'll seem like Casey or Dasey centric for just a bit but it's all about Ralph in this one-shot. I needed more practice writing his character and I couldn't pass up this idea. Thus said, here's Ralph "Stalks" Casey. Enjoy!

Casey Venturi never predicted this future. If someone had asked her back during her Sophomore year of high school, she probably would have told that person yes: she and Derek would be attending different Universities for he was the bane of her existence and she wanted to get as far away from him as possible.

It was funny the way things turned out. First, not even a month after Sally moved away and the break up between her and Derek was official, Casey found Derek out side her room one night looking rather nervous. She let him in reluctantly for he refused to go until she heard what he had to say, she let him talk for it looked as if he'd pass out if he didn't get a chance to. She let him kiss her.

Yes, he said. He did love Sally once but realized that his love for Casey had been much stronger, only denying it and causing her misery to hide his true feelings. Yes, she said. She returned the kiss only because she had concealed the same exact feelings for Derek. I realized when you started going out with Sally, she said. Now, with Sally out of the picture there was nothing standing in their way.

They spent the majority of their senior year as the "cutest couple" at Thompson High. No one found it weird, awkward, or appalling. In fact, many of their friends had been betting behind their backs, waiting for them to get together before graduation since Casey's first day. At graduation, Derek surprised everyone, especially Casey, by proposing. The two were wed a few months after and moved into an apartment in London while they applied for colleges so they could go to school together.

Finally, they both got accepted into Penbrook college in PA after taking the advice of Sheldon and Emily, who had moved there after their own wedding. Sam had moved to New York to earn a degree in business management while Ralph had followed Derek and Casey and made Penbrook his home as well.

Casey was pleased with her life; she had the sweetest husband a wife could ever ask for (even if he still liked to get a rise out of her, only to bring back old memories from when they lived under the McDonald-Venturi roof), she and Emily were attending the same college after all, both excited that they wouldn't have to start a long distance best friendship, Sheldon got along great with Derek and Ralph and Sam promised he'd come visit around the Christmas holidays.

Though she hated unexpected surprises, she wouldn't trade this future, her present, for anything.

"It's perfect, Em!" Casey said in admiration, glancing around the spacious apartment. It was nice and wide; the kitchen connected to the living room which was perfect for the new newly weds while the upstairs had their bedroom as well as a guest bedroom and one bathroom. Outside, there was a balcony that had a great view of the neighbor hood park. Emily Shlepper grinned, obviously proud as Sheldon came down the stairs after showing Derek the balcony. "We need to have a party here, dude. This place is awesome!" Derek told him, making his way to his wife. She gave him a look as he placed an arm around her shoulder.

"Thanks, Derek but I think we'll have to rethink that party idea." Sheldon said quickly, taking note of Emily's own firm expression.

"Forget it, Derek." Emily declared. "After what we paid for this apartment there is no way that I'm going to let you put up fliers around the college to invite anyone who's anyone to come and trash my new home."

"Who said anything about fliers?"

Casey rolled her eyes, for everyone was obviously remembering the graduation party Derek had thrown. She decided to change the subject "Isn't Ralph supposed to be meeting us here? I thought we were all going to go to the movies later."

"He called me earlier saying he'd be a bit late." Derek said while at the same time Ralph walked through the open door without knocking. "Oh, look. There he is."

"Hey guys." He greeted. Ralph, like the rest of them, hadn't changed too much since high school. Sure, he was taller and like Derek he still cared about music with a growing passion but in all, he was the same goof he had been since Casey had met him. For example, as he looked around the almost empty apartment he blinked.
"I thought you two were moving in. Why'd you pack everything back up?"

"We didn't, Ralphie, we just haven't unpacked yet." Emily grinned.

"Well, don't you think you should? I mean, if you don't someone will probably snag this place. It's pretty neat for an apartment." Ralph told her.

"Ralph, they already bought…oh, never mind." Casey retorted, taking out her cell phone from her jean pocket as it vibrated loudly.

"Who is it?" Derek asked, peering over her shoulder as she read the text message.

"It's from Allie. Defensive Tae Kwon Do is canceled for the next two days." She grumbled, typing a quick response that she received the reply and stuffing the phone back into her pocket. Casey had taken an interest in TKD as soon as she found out about it through freshman orientation. She claimed that she wanted to have something in common with her sister Lizzie (besides them both having dated the Venturi brothers) and became immersed in learning how to defend herself. Derek protested when she first signed up, obviously afraid that one day Casey would indeed be tougher than him but of course his wife ignored his protests and took the classes anyway. While Lizzie was now close to her black belt, Casey was at green, eagerly looking forward to learning more about the sport and being able to spar in tournaments.

"That's a shame." Derek commented sarcastically. His wife caught the sarcasm in a minute.
"Derek, don't you want me to be able to defend myself when danger approaches me?"
"First off, you're usually with me or Emily when you go out so no one is going to be stupid enough to "attack" you when you aren't alone. Second, I'm perfectly capable of protecting you myself thanks, since that is my job as a husband. And third you're wasting your time on these lessons because there's no way you'll ever be tougher than me."

After Derek finished his list Casey turned to look at him fully, disgusted. "Oh, so now I'm weaker than you? I'm sorry, but who was it that dragged most of the boxes in our new apartment while you tried to figure out how to set up the television?"

"Some things never change." Sheldon muttered to Emily and Ralph as they watched the couple bicker. Of course, Ralph had to speak up his opinion on the matter.

"Derek's right, Casey. No way will girls every be tougher than guys."

"You see! Even Ralph thinks so." Derek protested.

"Oh really!" Casey demanded loudly, now rounding on poor Ralph who seemed to regret his previous remark. "So, guys are tougher than girls?"

"Well, yeah."

Without warning Casey grabbed Ralph's forearm, ignoring his loud protests, and maneuvered Ralph upon her back, walking to the couch, one of the few pieces of furniture in the room, so she could flip him over without giving him a concussion. Emily burst into laughter as her best friend placed a foot on Ralphie enabling any chance at escape while snatching a nearby pillow. She began to swat violently.

"Guys are tougher than girls, huh!?" Casey shouted as Ralph tried to shield his face from the pillow attack.

"Casey, stop. Okay, just put the pillow down!" Derek yelped, making a grab for his wife and pulling her away from his best friend. Emily tried muffling her laughter by burying her face in Sheldon's shoulder. Sheldon looked as if he had just witnessed the greatest event known to man. Ralph scrambled up from the couch as soon as he could, shooting a terrified glance in Casey's direction. Derek tried to calm his wife down who was still fuming about the sexist comment. "Just chill." He told her, his hands on her shoulders making her look at him. "I never said you were weak."
"Yeah, but he did." Casey stated, darting a glare in Ralph's direction. He twitched.

"Okay, I think it's time to go to the movies." Sheldon declared loudly, trying to ease the tension Casey had created. He rolled his eyes for Emily was still giggling in his shoulder.

"Good idea!" Derek agreed after kissing Casey's forehead in attempt to calm her down. Casey mumbled something incoherent while Emily just nodded. Ralph on the other hand remained silent, stunned as they all headed out the apartment. In fact, Ralph remained silent through out the whole movie. His ego had been bruised, his mind on the pillow attack. Casey had beaten him up with a pillow. He had been beaten up by a girl. All through out high school, his friends (mostly Derek) had told him about how the male species were superior to women, how it would bring shame to all males everywhere if he were to be broken by women. His ex-girlfriend, Amanda, just seemed rather pleased Ralph loved her for her, not expecting much from him (and the fact that he could beat her in an arm wrestling match was always a plus.)

He had to get his pride back; he had to reclaim his honor as a male. He pondered on possibilities that night after the movie. He could always beat Casey up. No, that wouldn't be good. For one thing, Casey was a girl and no matter how unfair the situation was he could never bring himself to actually hit a girl. Another reason was that Derek would probably kill him. No, not probably. Derek would kill him, no questions asked, no excuses allowed.

He could always trick her. He'd come up with a revenge scheme so evil…nah, that would require too much thinking and planning.

Ralph needed something simple. He needed a plan that would get his revenge on Casey while at the same time wouldn't anger her husband. An idea crossed his mind; he smirked.

Girls were easily scared. This was acknoledged when he and Derek played tricks on Emily, Casey, Amanda and even Kendra during Halloween senior year. Most of the tricks had been little kids stuff; things popping out of lockers and pranks from that nature. Only the best prank had been pulled when Derek, Ralph, Sam and Trevor and Sheldon (who had come for a visit that weekend) managed to make the girls believed they were really locked in the school after hours (they paid the janitor a good sum of money to pull this off) and messed with the lights while at the same time playing Marti's Halloween Sounds CD over the PA system. Emily and Casey were furious with their boyfriends for over a week while Amanda dumped Ralph on the spot. Trevor squirmed out of Kendra's rage easily as he pulled her into a passionate kiss, assuring her that he was just having fun and not to take it as seriously as the other girls were.

Ralph hated thinking too much, but the idea came swiftly to him. He'd stalk Casey. It was that simple, and Derek wouldn't kill him for that because he wasn't actually hurting her. He was just scaring her. He'd follow her all over campus that next Monday, popping up at random places and wearing different disguises. It was the perfect plan!

"That's the most retarded plan I've ever heard of." Sheldon retorted. Ralph frowned at him.
"What's so retarded about it? Seems pretty simple to me."

"Ralph, just get over it." Sheldon said sighing. "You know Casey beating you up with a pillow does not make you weak so stop acting all offended."

"It makes me weak against her!" Ralph declared. He took this opportunity to glance at Casey who was sitting in the front of the class next to Allie. Allie caught his glare and whispered something into Casey's ear. They both giggled.

"Forget it." Sheldon retorted. "Your so called plan is too stupid to actually work. Casey won't fall for it."

"Oh we'll see." Ralph muttered, his glare remaining on his best friend's wife. She turned in her seat and waved at him mockingly before the professor strode to the front, ready to start the lesson.

--

"I can't believe that he was glaring at you!" Emily grinned after Casey told her all the details about her previous class. She, Emily, Derek, Sheldon were in the student lounge, relaxing on the comfortable sofas. Sheldon had also informed them about Ralph's "plan" getting some laughs out of the girls and earning an eye roll from Derek. If Ralph wasn't his best friend and if his "plan" to stalk Casey had actually been a threat, Derek would have punched the guy out by now. Only, Ralph was his best friend and his "plan" to stalk Derek's wife was anything but a threat so there was really nothing to worry about except maybe Ralph's own sanity.

"So, what's he going to do?" Casey asked Sheldon, clearly amused. "Wear a clown mask or something and follow me around?"

"Who knows?" Sheldon shrugged, beginning to grow uninterested with this topic. Casey smiled. "Well, what ever he has "planned" he's wasting his time." She got up from her seat on the couch after kissing her husband sweetly. "I'm getting some coffee, want any?"

"I'm good." Derek told her. Emily shook her head no and Sheldon tilted his head to her. "Can you get me a small decaff?"

"No problem." Casey told him, taking the money he offered her. As she walked over to the small café which was set up at the far end of the student lounge, Sheldon noticed something, or rather someone, out of place.

"Hey, check it out." He told Derek and Emily. They looked in the direction Sheldon pointed out them. Sure enough, as Casey went to buy the coffee Ralph could be clearly seen sitting at a nearby table, dressed in a Santa costume. He had everything from the red coat to the white beard. Casey must of caught him looking at her from the corner of her eye for she turned in his direction quickly after paying the cashier. "Santa" glanced down, avoiding eye contact. When Casey turned her attention back to the cashier, he quickly glanced up again, just staring.

"Do you know that guy?" The cashier giggled, handing Casey her purchases. Casey rolled her eyes, glancing at Ralph again who twisted in his seat, pretending to stare at the fichus behind him. "Unfortunately." Casey said, shrugging. The cashier gave her a sympathetic smile and her change. As Casey walked past, back to where her husband and friends were sitting a little girl approached Ralphie and tugged on his arm so that his attention would be on her and not on the plant.

"Santa, why are you here so early?" She asked. Ralph froze.

"Uh." He started, trying to deepen his voice. "Why are you in college? Aren't you too young?"

"My sister goes here." The little girl said proudly. "My mom and I are visiting her. So, are you here to take present requests because I have a big Christmas list this year!"

"That's nice." Ralph said bluntly, trying to find a way to escape. Now, more people were staring at him. This kid was going to blow his cover!

The girl's face fell. "Aren't you going to listen to my list? I know it's too early to send it out but I want you to hear it now so I could get my presents before everyone else!"

"Look, kid, I don't have the time…"

"You're mean, Santa!" The little kid wailed angrily, stomping on Ralph's foot. Ralph yelped in pain as the brat stormed off to find her mother and sister. After hopping up and down for a second Ralph noticed that now everyone in the lounge was staring at him. He quickly made himself look as casual as he could in a Santa suit and rushed out of the lounge and through the doors that led to the drama classes. Casey and Emily burst into giggle fits while Derek and Sheldon both shook their heads in pity.

--

Events like his first stalking attempt happened throughout the week. Ralph would be in a different costume each day (each coming from the drama department) and would try to freak Casey out by appearing in the most bizarre places. Finally, Casey decided it all had to stop. When Ralph's fifth attempt at freaking her out failed, she knelt down beside him on the floor to help him up.

"What is wrong with you?" She couldn't help but ask. "I'm serious, were you dropped on your head as a kid or something?"

"So, I didn't scare you?" Ralph asked, discouraged. Casey just gave him a "Give me a break" look. "Damn, then I wasted my time wearing all these stupid costumes!"

"You think?" Casey scoffed. "Why did you bother with all of this anyway?" She asked him, even if she already knew the vague answer. Ralph shrugged.
"I wanted to prove that I was tougher than you. I want a rematch, I wanted revenge."

Casey rolled her eyes at the over dramatics. "If you wanted a "rematch" why didn't you just ask me?"

Ralph blinked. "Can I have a rematch?"

"Only on one condition: If I give you a rematch you have to stop making a fool of yourself around campus and stop taking costumes from the theater department."

"Deal."

"So, what…?"

"Thumb wrestle."

Casey raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"You heard me." Ralph declared stepping up in a challenging way. "Thumb wrestle." He held out his hand, thumb extended in the air. Casey sighed. Why not, she mused.

"Fine," Casey agreed, grasping his hand with her own. Their thumbs 'danced' with each other as Ralph rhymed "1 2 3 4, I declare a thumb war!"

"1 2 3, you lose." Casey effortlessly pinned down Ralph's thumb. After wrenching his hand free of her grip he glared at her.

"You cheated!"

"Ralph, how on earth can you cheat at thumb wrestling?" Casey rolled her eyes, shifting her books as she began to walk down the hall to meet Derek for lunch. Behind her Ralph still protested.

"Seriously, Casey! Come on, another rematch!? Best two out of three? Two out of four?"

Casey smiled and just shook her head, not even bothering to turn back. It was like Sheldon always said: some things would just never change.

-Fin-

A/N: Phew, it's done! I've been working on this one for a few hours so I'm glad I just now finished it. This was fun to write and I'm glad I got around to playing with Ralph's character a bit (although I'm sure I made him a little OOC). If you're interested in watching the BMW episode this was based loosely off of, the episode is called "Angela's Men" and as most of you BMW fans have already figured out, yes Casey portrayed Topenga while Ralphie portrayed Eric. I love Eric, lol. Reviews are always appreciated. Thanks so much for reading, until next time!

"Never let go of the one you truly love"

-December'sRose