Based on a joke I made awhile back about what kind of middle name ARTHUR would give America.

Just something I wrote quick before going on vacation. I don't think I'm have time to finish my Harry Potter crossover fanfic before I go, so I'm sorry to the few people I've told about it, and even more sorry that Germany/Italy fic I've been promising(for Kaigu-chan and Vampire Scooby) hasn't been started yet. Since I'm going to Disneyworld next week(I LOVE FLORIDA!), I decided not to start it because I would probably right Hetalia characters being there far better after it was fresh in my mind.

This is really short. Weird.

Yay little Alfred and Arthur!

Disclaimer: If I was Himaruya, there would be a hell of a lot more AmericaxEngland, and England in general. He could be the main character and I could be Alfred so I could date him.

Spain was frantic.

Where could he be? There were tons of tree-filled forests in this country, and he didn't know his way around it at all.

" Romano? Romano!" he called desperately for the person he was searching this unfamiliar territory for. It wasn't that he hadn't been to the new world, but he hasn't personally been in this particular part of it.

This was one of England's colonies.

And Spain didn't want to stay longer than he could help.

" Romano, where are you?! Please, if you can hear me, come out..." his cries had a certain whine to them," I'm sorry!"

And then Spain noticed a small blonde boy with one hair sticking out prominently on his head, all by himself and looking extremely happy.

" Hey, kid, are you alright?"

The child turned and looked at him, his smile growing wider. With a nod, he skipped happily over to stand right in front of Spain.

" Hi there! My name's America, who're you?" he asked cheerfully.

Spain blinked. America? So this was....one of them. The Nations. This was the kid England had been bragging about so much?

Spain had to admit he was a pretty cute little boy.

But not as cute as Romano's little brother.

He thought for a second. He didn't want this kid to go and tell England he had been here, so he wasn't going to tell him he was Spain. However, if he refused to answer, he might go tell England he met a funny man or something....

" I'm Antonio Fernández Carriedo. Say, have you seen a guy walk by with dark brown hair, probably a frown, and a weird hair curl?" he traced where Romano's curl was in his head with his finger on his own head.

The boy shook his head, and his eyes got really wide,"Woaaah."

Spain nervously replied," What?"

" Your....name..it's so..."

" Long?"

America nodded, " You have three names!"

Spain chuckled," Yep. Well, I suppose I should be off then, I have to go find....the person I was talking about." With a smile, Spain walked off to find Romano, and left America alone once more.

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Shortly after, America tracked down his brother Canada. Canada was pretty smart-plus he was really meek and easy to bully into things.

And America shamelessly took advantage of this.

" Hey, Matt..." America began, using a shortened version of Canada's "human" name.

" Yes?"

" You're smart right?"

Canada perked up and held his head high," O-of course I am!"

" Good. So..can you tell me...why would someone have three names?"

".......you mean like a middle name?"

" I don't know. I guess."

" I think you mean a middle name, America...."

America nodded and with an absent-minded "Thanks", walked off to find the one man who could tell him what his middle name was.

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America finally found him, standing in a clearing, yelling and looking extremely distressed. He wasn't alone, either. He seemed to be talking to France. He then took note of a large rock with the words "French Territory Starts Here" sloppily painted on it in an angry looking red. America may have been young, but he knew where his territory was, and this was definitely part of it. That dirty lying France!

America approached the two older, bickering nations cautiously, and with a deep breath, said," Hey England...do I have a middle name?"

England didn't hear a word the boy had said, and shot an angry expletive at France.

"FUCK!"

America, however, had absolutely no clue what the word meant at this point, but he knew England seemed to like it very much, so he had no trouble believing England had heard him and this was indeed his middle name.

His name Alfred Fuck Jones.

He was so going to brag to Canada.

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It had been months before Arthur knew what he had done. He had been introducing little America to "someone important." That's all America knew. Or bothered to remember, anyway. He was old and probably boring was all Alfred really bothered to think about him.

" Go ahead, introduce yourself," England told his adopted "little brother" with a nudge, and whispered to him," Human name, Alfred."

" Hi!" America beamed at the man," My name is Alfred Fuck Jones!"

He quickly noticed the confusion and disgust on the funny man's face, and looked to England for the pride he was sure his face would display. But he did not find the comfort he sought in that, and instead notice a very embarrassed Arthur apologizing up and down to the man. Alfred didn't get it.

" What'd I....do wrong?"

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When asked by curious people what the "F" in Alfred F. Jones stood for, America always refused to answer. No one could understand why, and many began to speculate what kind of embarrassing name it might be.

And every time he heard America introduce himself to someone as "Alfred F. Jones," England couldn't help but smile to himself. He, Arthur Kirkland, was one of the few in that inner circle. And every time he heard him refuse to explain the "F," he couldn't help but tell himself that no matter what Alfred did, he could never quite shake Arthur's influence on him. He may have left Arthur those years ago, but Alfred could never completely escape Arthur.

And when Arthur thought this, his face would turn crimson red and he would quickly try to remove the thought, but he couldn't help but guiltily enjoy the idea.

He walked by America, who had just spent ten minutes trying to get someone to leave him alone about the mysterious "F." With a mischievous grin and pink face, England leaned over and whispered to America," Nice to see you again, Alfred Fuck Jones."

Come on, you know with his foul mouth England would SO name Alfred that on purpose even if he WAS sober.

Yes, I know Spain doesn't have a last name with the Spanish naming system, but America and Canada don't.

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