The other Nordics are really mean.
Of all the other Nordics to go chop some firewood, it had to be him! Why him? Why can't it be Sweden or something?
"Bec'se I alr'dy did 't th' l'st time."
Damn you flashback quotes.
Despite the fact Denmark had to chop down some firewood in the middle of a Nordic winter (Nordics winters are really cold, you know), there was one good thing. He was going to use "Little" Axey.
"Little" Axey (who is definitely NOT little) has been with Denmark for over a thousand years. Axey has been Denmark's "partner" ever since.
When Denmark found a decent sized tree to chop, he brought out Axey, from who-knows-where, and took a look at it.
Beautiful as always.
The Dane readied a swing. He swung, then-
*SNAP!*
As the blade hit the bark, the handle, as if on slow motion (cue time for imagining this slow motion), the handle snapped.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Fortunately, Denmark wasn't at a mountain side or something so there wasn't any "Run away from the avalanche" cliché event. Now, back to our "dramatic" scene.
"Why, Axey, why? Why must you break at such a young age?"
Apparently for Denmark, over a thousand years is considered "young."
"Nooo, Axey! Don't give up on me!" continued screaming the Dane dramatically as if the handle would heal together magically.
But no, the handle was broken.
"Wheretofore must you break so easily?"
Apparently, "The breaking of Axey" has caused Danny-boy to revert back to Old English.
Denmark lik- no, LOVED that axe with all his life. Why was it only now he realized this?!
The heart-broken Dane started kissing his axe passionately. Axey was his axe. Axey IS his axe and will forever be.
Unfortunately for Norway, who went to look for the Dane who was taking so long, had to stumble into the "passionate scene. A huge "WTF" expression was plastered over his normally emotionless face.
The Norwegian cleared his throat making the Dane notice him, "You DO know that we were waiting for over half an hour,"
"But-"
"And you could always fix your axe?"
"…" Denmark just looked embarrassed.
Norway sighed, "Just go, we'll just use the extra firewood."
Denmark nodded and picked up his axe and went off.
When Denmark was out of sight, Norway looked around to see if anyone was still around.
No one.
Excitedly, Norway took out a somewhat eaten butter bar and licked it with his pleasure.
Norway looked at the butter and said, "Don't worry, they'll never know."
Norway put the butter back to, um…, where ever he got it from and went back to their Christmas Cottage.
A/n: I did my Norway X Butter story so why don't i do this too? I thank LittlemissStarshine for helping me with Sweden's accent.
So instead of shipping ships like DenNor or SuDen or something, why can't we ship ships like Denmark X Axe or Norway X Butter or Iceland X Fridge or Sweden X IKEA or Finland X Salmiakki? And what about love triangles? Instead of FrUSUK or DenNorIce why can't we have Canada X Maple Syrup X Pancakes or Mr. Puffin X Gilbird X Pierre or Pooki X Hanatamago X Pochi? They're beautiful, right? :(
((Okay, I'm joking what I said above and I have nothing against those ships (or do I?*trollface*) but really guys, we NEED more crackfics. Hetalia is a humor/parody series and is full of crack so we need MORE of them~!))