This used to be my prison. This frozen wasteland away from all civilization. Nothing but igloos and ice-fishing holes for thousands of miles. And here I was, in the middle of nowhere, ruling over my kingdom of gangsters and thugs, like a goddamn king. Pingu thought to himself as he paced, surveying the yard from his office.

A kerfuffle had broken out. Another Titan had given the middle finger to a Survey Corps member. The young dark haired boy lashed out at the Titan, threatening to shank him. His name was Eren Jaeger, prisoner number 2569. A gangbanger since birth, born with an uzi in his hand and a chip on his shoulder. He was on a mission to kill every Titan alive, but so was every Survey Corps member.

Pingu took another swig of his harsh, cheap whisky and grimaced as the booze tingled his beak.

A young guard burst into the warm and beautiful office, letting in a draft of cold air. "Warden Pingu! A fight has broken out in the yard. It's Prisoner 2569 again."

Sons of bitches can never solve anything on their own. Pingu turned to face the young penguin standing in his office. "Noot noot."

Pingu followed the guard, Pongi by the name on his uniform, down the cold metal stairs and into the yard. The fight had damn near turned into an all-out brawl. Titans threw Survey Corps members fifty feet in the air, their bodies making dull thudding sounds as they hit the ground. Armen screamed like a little bitch as three Titans surrounded him. Mikasa leapt onto one of their backs and clawed out his eyes with a gleeful yelp.

"NOOT NOOT," Pingu bellowed, and the sounds of fighting came to an abrupt halt. Faces of Titans and Survey Corps, bruised and bloody, turned to face their warden. His own eyes burned with fiery rage directly at the initiator of all this commotion. "Noot... noot."

A Titan slowly released Eren Jaeger from his grip, and the young boy followed Warden Pingu out of the yard.

They walked in silence through the slippery ice hallways of the prison. Pingu occasionally slid on his stomach and Eren had to jog to keep up. When they reached the large double doors of Pingu's office the two men looked at each other before pushing through.

Eren was in awe of Pingu's grand office. The walls were covered in red crushed velvet and a huge window overlooked the yard where he had just been. Eren noticed the large four poster bed off to one side of the room but his attention was torn away at the sound of liquid being poured into two glasses.

This son of a bitch is ruining my prison. The violence in his heart is getting out of hand. If I want to keep control, I must control him. But first, I must know him. Pingu's mind was racing as he offered Eren a glass of amber liquid. "Noot noot," he whispered.

Eren's bruised knuckles slapped the glass out of Pingu's flipper, the whisky spilt over the ice floor freezing immediately.

Goddamn Pongi, he's been watering down my alcohol again, thought Pingu angrilly. His anger towards Pongi eclipsed any feelings he had towards Eren. Until those same bruised knuckled came in contact with Pingu's soft feathery face.

"Nooooot," screamed Pingu. His water-like physics prevented him from being hurt by anything except dark magic. His face conformed to Eren's fist and reverted back to its round form when the prisoner retracted his arm. A rubbery flipper went up immediately hitting the angry teen upside the head.

"Ow," Eren complained.

Listen to me you little shit. Act like a bitch, you get slapped like a bitch. Pingu's eyes narrowed in anger. "Noot noot."

Pingu gestured his flipper towards the velvet loveseat and poured another glass as Eren sat down.

We need to work together. How can I bring order back to this prison? Pingu nooted calmly.

"I'd never help those assholes," shouted Eren, "they killed my mother in a drive-by."

Pingu raised his eyebrows. All the rage pent up in this little body... All because of his dear sweet mother. Killed in front of her child. Tragic. A tear slowly crept down Pingu's cheek, just where the boy's fist had been moments before.

Pingu sat next to Eren, who shuffled himself as far from the warden as he could, which ultimately wasn't that far. Pingu gently placed a flipper on Eren's thigh. The boy's eyes dropped to see their connection before slowly tracing up the penguin's body, and finally their gaze met one anothers.

"You must rehabilitate them," Eren said, "It's the only way."

But they're savages beyond saving. They killed your mother. The soft noot's washed over Eren's ears and caused his eyes to well up with tears.

"Put them in baking classes. My mother loved baking." Eren said with wistful sadness.

Pingu nodded and took a sip.

3 months later

Pingu and Eren walked flipper in hand through their jail. Large windows overlooked the bakery section. It was easily the most expensive section in the prison because it couldn't be made of ice. They realized that after their first try melted, killing 30 Titans.

Inside, Titans and Survey Corps members worked together to create fabulous pastries, cakes, and breads.

Two Titans passed by the windows carrying large vanilla cakes to the icing station.

"Do you think that one's ours?" Eren whispered, barely containing his excitement.

"Noot," came Pingu's reply.

The Titans worked together to cover the cakes in a glorious white fondant. Topping it with small statuettes of a penguin and a prisoner getting married.

THE END