Hi. Just a quick note. This is my first fanfic, and the idea just hit me a couple of days ago. Stuff the fact that I have my A2s in a matter of weeks, this is more important!!

This is from the Doctor's point of view. It might be a little out of character, but I have tried to keep it as true to him as possible. This starts after Donna leaves (in the Christmas special). Rose has disappeared for good, and its almost like a diary entry.

I hope you like it :)

What do I do now?

I hadn't had time to think since Rose left, what with all the fuss with Donna. Also, it took me a while to figure out how to speak to Rose for one last time, which almost made it worse. At least I was actively seeking something. But now, since I've had time to think, it hit me. She's gone.

. . . . .

I think I must have passed out. Not something that happens to me very often let me tell you. I awoke to find myself slumped in the chair next to the console, where she would sit while I dashed around fiddling with the controls. Of course, all my intelligent alterations were only to impress her.

She would sit here and laugh at my inane jokes, poke fun at my rambling, ask amazingly intelligent questions, all the while radiating this beauty that I couldn't seem to place. Her scent still lingered here, that combination of the shampoo she used, and the washing powder that we did our laundry with, and that something that was simply her essence. It always smelt like home to me.

It hit me, a few weeks ago, just what that beauty was that she exuded. When we were stuck in orbit around the black hole, with the TARDIS seemingly lost forever, we were talking about having to settle down. I don't know what I said, but she just lit up at the words, and I realised what it was. She loved me. No, loves me, present tense.

See, she was genuinely happy that maybe we would have to live out the rest of our lives together, with a mortgage and jobs and every other boring day to day thing that we skip over. I didn't tell her outright that I wanted to be with her, but I think she knew that I couldn't leave her.

So when I did, and I flung myself down the Pit, I almost told her. I should have told her. But would it have made a difference? Would she have accepted me as more than just a mad friend who took her through time and space? Would she have allowed me at long last into the room she so secretly cherished, the one space in the TARDIS where I wasn't allowed to go? Would she have poured out her heart to me, loved me completely and irrevocably as I do her? I don't know.

. . . . .

Thinking of her room, maybe I should go there. Maybe the TARDIS will let me in, as it barricaded me from entering once I gave it to her. She's funny like that, my ship; I wonder if she knew that I would sneak in just to watch her sleep if I could only enter. But the door wouldn't open at my touch as all other doors did; it always seemed locked even when I knew it couldn't possibly be.

I found myself walking there, almost stumbling along the corridors in my attempt to reach it quicker. Since she was snatched from me, I've lost my sense of grace, my innate Time Lord poise that made everything look so easy for me. That part of me was sucked away, with my happiness, with my joy, with all that I prized in the world.

I reached where her door used to be, took a deep breath and turned towards it. But it was not there. I scrambled towards the wall, pressing it and pushing it and trying to find where the door was in a blind panic. I knew I was in the right place, I had found myself here countless times while she was sleeping, trying to get up the courage to knock and confess to her, or even just to sit with her, yet always bottling it at the last moment - and not just because I knew I wouldn't be able to enter.

I gave up my search, and sank down to the floor. Despair washed over me, and I buried my head in my arms. Curled up in that position, I just sat and let the thoughts filter though. How could her room have vanished? I knew the TARDIS had the power to change where things were, and how things looked, but to move whole rooms? It never did that, not unless there was a very good reason for it.

. . . . .

Eventually, I got up. I was exhausted, physically and mentally. I drifted to my room in a haze of desolation, no soul, no spark, just an empty, lonely little shell. As I opened my door, intending to drop onto my bed and sleep until the pain had passed, I sensed something had changed.

Her door. There it was. In the corner of my room, between my coat stand and my bookshelf. It looked just the same as always, the cheery yellow that she had insisted on painting it once she knew she was here for the long run. It was the only part she had allowed me to help with, claiming that I would just spoil it if she let me touch anything more difficult. I had to agree with her, I always was bad at painting.

I reached out, touched the handle, felt the cool metal underneath my hand. It occurred to me that this was wrong, I shouldn't be doing this. This was her room, her own private sanctuary, the one place where I couldn't disturb her. The rules had always applied to my room too, yet she did not seem to yearn to break them as I always had. Just because the rules weren't entirely made by us, didn't make them any less important.

A surge of hope swept over me. Irrational, heart wrenching, obsolete, yet hope it was. What was I hoping? That I would charge in and there she would be, just waiting for me? No, that would be impossible. There was no way I would ever see her again, that was just the law of the universe.

I grasped the handle tighter, pushing the doubts out of my mind. I was sure that she would want this, want me to find solace in what she left behind. I would want her to do the same.

For the first time since I gave her the room, the handle yielded to my touch. The TARDIS had obviously decided that it was right for me to be doing this, or why else would she have moved Rose's room into mine?

The door clicked, and swung open silently. I didn't realise I had been holding my breath, but as I finally set eyes on her little home from home I let out a huge sigh. I let her scent engulf me, enveloping me in its smooth timbre. Inhaling once more, I stepped over the threshold, to find what I had been looking for all along.

Her.

I originally wrote this as a one-shot, but I think I'd like to continue it. Thats why I've left it on a little cliffhanger for you! Please review, I'd love to know what you think of it (whether good or bad) and if I should expand it. Sorry for any typos or mistakes! Any other kind of ideas would also be very welcome!