Drabble inspired by episode 9. Also an experiment with story layout. I hope you like it. Please do leave feedback.

I did this.

But I shouldn't have.

Infact, none of this should have happened.

Nine had no interest in the real world, beyond what he needed to know in order to carry out our plan. But I, on the other hand, wanted to experience it. I wanted to just try it out, in the most superficial way. Like a tourist trying out the local delicacies and gawking at all the landmarks, I wanted to brush across the top of this real world, so that at least I'd know what it was like before I exited it. I had always been curious.

And at the beginning, I thought this plan of mine would work. I thought I'd be the perfect tourist in the world of the real people. I shopped, I travelled, I chatted to people about the weather. I sampled genres of music. I read as many books as I wanted, when I wanted. I played games and watched bad movies and tried all sorts of food. I picked up strange skills such as knitting and tying kimono belts and tap dancing. I am sure, that to the world, I just looked like a typical 17-year-old enjoying his youth, pinned down by nothing. And that was true. I wasn't pinned down to anything because this was a place I didn't belong to. I knew that after a few months, a year at the most, we'd be gone and nobody would notice or realise or care.

And then I met you.

It was just one of many chance encounters.

Yet for some reason, after seeing you just once, you continued haunted me.

I kept hearing your yellow voice.

You kept coming back.

And I found myself following, even though I knew I should not have. I did try, you know. I did try to keep myself away. I tried everything I could in order to make sure I didn't get involved. Hell, I even told Nine not to get involved, when he was the one who was doing it perfectly all along. But I ended up rescuing you anyway. I ended up falling for you, the more I saw you. I ended up worrying about your safety, wanting to keep you protected. So I kept you close. Then you kept yourself close, because, inexplicably, you cared. And all that time, I didn't realise that I was falling until you were in danger and I hit the ground.

I still feel the bruises.

They hurt, just like I knew they would.

But I ignore it and wait for the pain to fade away, because still, I dream of a distant future.

I cling on to the delusion that I might get out of this.

I went in deeper.

Deep enough to betray a friend. Nine, the only person I had ever known for the longest time. I knew, even as I got bruised, over and over again, that involving you, getting involved with you, would mean nothing but tragedy in the end. But still I thought I could have it both ways. I thought that you wouldn't cause a rift. But you did. Of course you did. But saying that makes it seem like it was your fault. But it wasn't. None of it was. It was mine. I chose you, and I will still choose you. That's what love is, isn't it. Love, that real-world concept I came to gawk at, and ended up feeling anyway. I am glad it was you that received that feeling. In the end, I could not complete the sentence, could not finish the words, but I could tell you understood. The moon said it all, didn't it? The moon said it all.

And maybe, one day, it will say it all again. Perhaps we will get to look at it together, in different circumstances. Maybe one day we'll walk down the street, holding hands. Perhaps we'll get to do all those things real people do-live together, go on dates, find jobs, get married, all that stuff. Perhaps we'd have children, children we'd give actual names to. Children we could be actual parents for, make up for what we lacked. And every day would be begun when we woke up and the first thing we saw was each other. I'd love that, I'd really love that.

But I know it's never going to happen, no matter how I wish for it.

Time is running out, no matter how much I hope otherwise.

I should not have done this.

But I did so anyway.

I chose you.