"Ugh… what the hell…"
Gina slowly opened her eyes with a slight moan. Sitting up, she glanced around slowly. There were docks everywhere.
"Where am I?" she asked herself, standing up and wincing as she prodded the lump on the back of her head. It was quite a fall, and it completely came out of nowhere. She had only been trying to clean underneath her sister's bed and the next thing she knew, she was falling down towards the ground.
"There really is a warp portal under her bed after all… oh, there it is," she picked out the pitch black spot in the night sky, "It's that high up?! I'll never get back home! Damnit, this is not how I wanted to spend my summer break! I've got that appointment in two weeks!"
Sighing, she looked around once again. "Well… I might as well figure out where I am."
It didn't take long; she merely followed the loud noises up the load until she found her self in front of a bar.
"The Tortuga, huh… I know that that means 'turtle' in Spanish, but I feel like I'm missing something…"
Feeling ridiculously brave and superior all of a sudden, she pushed open the door, walking inside. There were pirates everywhere; pirates drinking rum at the bar, pirates dancing with whores on the floor, pirates fighting other pirates, even pirates fighting other pirates while dancing with whores and drinking rum. And that's when it finally came to her.
"Damnit! I'm in a movieverse, aren't I?" she groaned in annoyance as she rubbed her temples, "How the hell am I supposed to get out of Pirates of the Carribbean?! THIS IS SO LAME!"
Abruptly, a hand grabbed her ass, she didn't hesitate to clobber the poor pirate who had grabbed it.
"EXCUSE ME," she shrieked, "I DON'T APPRECIATE SEXUAL HARRASSMENT, SO IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR NUTSACK I SUGGEST YOU GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"
In a fit of rage, Gina stormed over to the bar, plopping down on one of the stands. The bartender glanced up at her as he finished wiping down a mug.
"What'll ye have, lass," he asked gruffly.
"Nothing."
"Lass, if ye're going to sit at the bar, ye have to get a drink."
If Gina's glare could kill, that bartender would be dead and in pieces on the ground.
"Fine; give me a glass of air."
The bartender glared at her before handing her a glass with a bottle of rum. Gina stared at him incredulously.
"I didn't say rum; I don't have the money to…"
"Don't let it trouble ye, lass. It's on the house. Ye look like ye need to relax."
"I'm too young to drink."
"What are ye talking about, lass?"
"The law says I have to be 21 or older to drink. I'm only 19."
"Lass, there be no law that forbids ye from drinking."
Indicating the riot around them in exasperation, Gina retorted, "Do you really think I'd want to be drunk off of my ass in this place?!"
The man looked at the pirates half-killing each other while dancing and drinking, if that's even possible.
"I suppose ye got a point there, lass."
"Well, you're quite the spunky one, aren't ye?"
Gina glanced at the newcomer, blinking absentmindedly. It was surreal. The dreadlocks, the blue coat, the hat. There was no doubt about it – This man was-
"Johnny Depp."
The pirate blinked. "Who?" he asked in confusion.
"You're Johnny Depp."
The pirate watched her for a long moment. "Love, ye have me mixed up with another man. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow of the Black Pearl-…"
"No, Johnny, you play Captain Jack in the movie," Gina corrected him immediately, "Seriously, I know an actor has to be in character and all, but this is ridiculous."
Jack!Johnny blinked. "A moovee? Lass, what in bloody hell are ye talking about-…" his voice trailed off in to a howl as Gina grabbed his beard and tugged, hard.
"I know this is a fake beard; I watch how the glued it to your face in the special features DVD!"
To her confusion, the beard wouldn't budge. "Huh… that's weird. Well I suppose the glue is kinda tough," she thought aloud, eyeing the drealocks, "But the wig however…"
Abruptly she was trying to rip out Jack's hair.
"The wig must fit like a condom or something…"
"Bloody wench! Quit tugging me hair!"
"Me hair…?" Gina blinked, slowly letting go, "So… that means… that's not a wig; it's your hair?" she asked. Jack nodded. "And the beard isn't glued on; it's really growing out of your face?"
Jack nodded once again, looking slightly more than pissed. Gina smacked herself in the forehead.
"Well… fuck."
Before she could run for her life however, Jack's arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her t his side.
"Well now, ye sure have cause a bit of trouble for ol' Jack here. I think ye owe me a dance to pay me back, love," Jack smirked. Gina blinked as his words sunk in.
"Hey, that's a good idea!" she cried in realization. There was a huge grin on her face.
"Yes, love, I thought so too. So let's go dance-…" Jack was suddenly shoved to the side as Gina whipped out her Ipod.
"WHO HAS SPEAKERS?" she roared, stunning the mob into silence as they all stared at her blankly. Gina looked at the puzzled sea of faces.
"Oh yea…"
With that, she proceeded to make a pair of speakers with a couple of crates, some guys hat, a skank's dress, and a few copper wires she pulled from a bottle of rum. She hooked her Ipod up and cleared the floor, assuming the position.
Jack stared at her. "Love, what are ye doing?" he asked.
Gina grinned confidently. "I'm dance, stupid," she replied as the music kicked in.
'All my single ladies, all my single ladies…'