Things Unsaid by blustripe

Summary: Three months after the defeat of Metaria, Minako shows up unexpectedly on Rei's doorstep. When she stays the night, will they finally say what they've always wanted to? Rei/Minako PGSM based

Discalimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or any of the characters or stories. But I do own these words. Please do not duplicate in whole or in part without my permission.

Things Unsaid

It was nearly three months to the date that Metaria was defeated. Three months since Minako died and was ressurected. The months since the world nearly ended, since the Senshi lost their powers.

Two months since Rei had spoken to Minako when she showed up on the steps of her lovingly tended Shrine.

She stood with a small bag of luggage in one hand, Artemis in the other. Rei scanned them quizically, not sure what to make of their unannounced appearence.

"Hello, Minako, Artemis," she greeted.

"Good afternoon, Rei," he replied fondly, then jumping down from his companion's arms. "If you'll excuse me, I'd like to go stretch my legs. Its been a while since I was in such a lovely place for a walk."

The two former Senshi stood alone, what must have been five feet apart.

"What are you doing here," she asked in an interrogating tone.

" 'What am I doing here?' I dont even get an 'Its nice to see you?' "

"Well it is nice to see you, but you should have called. I'm extremely busy today."

"There's no one here, Rei."

"There was a strong wind last night. The grounds are a mess." Rei eyed the bag Minako was carrying. "Are you planning on staying?"

"My manager's been giving me hell these past few days. I thought I might escape for a day or two."

"Oh. And you couldnt stay at Usagi's, or Makoto's, or Ami's?"

"No," she replied flatly.

"Fine then. You can dump your stuff in my room. Then go find a broom in the shed and help me sweep up."

Minako strode briskly past her with the gait that only an overly serious, overly popular idol could possess. Being brought back from the dead sure hadnt changed her much.
Six hours of sweeping and scrubbing later, they sat next to each other on the edge of the bed, Minako wearing borrowed pajamas. They had hardly spoken to each other in the past few months. Upon meeting after the battle with Metaria, Rei and Minako had shared a single, desperate embrace, spoken a few polite words, and then parted. It was frustratingly awkward to suddenly be in the position of having to share a bed. But Minako was here for a reason, though she wasnt quite sure what.

"Do you think anyone else remembers," Minako pondered, "the time they lost when the Earth was destroyed?"

"I don't know, Minako. I haven't really thought about it."

That was a lie. She had. Rei had wondered about so many things these past few months, things the fire could not know. One thing in particular. Dared she ask it?

"What was it like, dying?" Rei asked with a nervous determination, her voice shaky and unprepared. If anyone else had asked her that, Minako would have slapped them with her eyes and left the room. But with Rei, it was almost a challange. She had to answer her.

"I'm not sure. I don't remember, really. I was in the studio recording some song when it all came rushing back to me. Everything, all at once. At first I was too overwhelmed with my memories of Usagi to pay much attention to the rest. But now that I've had a while to think about it, I realize that since I'm still alive, that kind of memory should be erased, right?

Rei hardly expected such a direct answer, and was even more surprised when Minako continued.

"I do remember what happed before then though, the moments leading up to it. I went to the hospital and changed into one of those itchy green gowns. They really should use a new material, you know. And then I had a few scans taken. After I had changed back, I suddenly became dizzy, which wasn't a big deal to me because it happened all the time. Then everything faded to black and I fell hard onto the floor. Next thing I knew I was running down the street shouting Usagi's name."

Rei nodded and focused her eyes on the floor. "Yeah." An empty response was all that she could muster.

"It sort of scares me to think that I used to be dead, although technically it never happened. Where did I go? Was I in heaven? How do you get pulled out of Heaven? As powerful as Princess Serenity is, I refuse to believe she can overrule God. But if I wasn't in Heaven, or Hell for that matter, then where was I? Maybe I was just lost."

Minako's voice fell to almost a whisper.

"Maybe I never had a soul at all."

Rei became uncomfortable. She had been given far more than she expected, maybe even more than she wanted. Though Minako didn't tell her about the recurring nightmares of being dead, or the fact that while running to find Usagi, deep in her heart she was truly focused on her.

"It must have been worse for you though, remembering that I died."

Rei's throat felt thick as she tried to respond. That was a note she could hardly bear to strike upon. But Minako had bared herself to her. Rei at least owed her the same.

She inhaled a shaky breath and began.

"I collapsed," she confessed. "Artemis waited for me at the Temple. He told me and I just...collapsed."

Minako locked her eyes on Rei's face, willing her to look at her, but she kept her eyes turned towards the Earth.

"Then I ran to find the others and fought the Youma. I sort of...lost it, you know? I just kept feeling everything I didn't want to feel, everything I've tried so hard to lock away since my mother died. I blasted the damn thing to hell and then screamed a bit. Then I collapsed again."

She didn't say that it was Minako's name she had screamed, or that she felt as though her heart had burned away with the Youma. Black and charred and crumbling into a million tiny pieces to be swept away in the wind.

"Oh, Rei..."

The Fire Senshi's eyes began to glaze over, and her vision became blurred. Though she wasn't about to stop now. The walls around her were quickly crumbling, and she was powerless to stop it.

Minako desperately craved to reach out and hold her, to pull her close and feel her tears seep through the thin fabric of her shirt and onto the skin of her shoulder. But her longstanding fear of intimacy was not about to fall so easily. The emotional tinglings long absent from the numb heart of a dying child were slow to return. Sometimes, part of her still believed she was dead.

"I wanted to die," she choked. "I've never wanted anything so much in my life as I wanted to die in that moment. I wanted to see my mother again, to see you. When we faced Metaria, part of me was glad to be struck down. But something in me wouldn't allow me to give up. My inner Senshi I suppose."

She spoke the last sentence with a certain acidic sarcasm that was so particular to Rei. She squeezed her arms tightly around her body and sat up a little straighter, trying to regain some of her former composure.

"Remembering all of that at once was just a bit much, I think." She stared off into the distance beyond the wall and shook her head. She hadn't felt this naked since singing on the stage in the hospital, and this time she only had an audience of one. Her soul was open. At that moment, anything could have happened and she would have felt its full intensity. She could hardly believe the words she had spoken, the forbidden language of her heart escaping from deep within her. Rei trembled in the familiar fear that always accompanied vulnerability.

She could not allow herself to fall apart. Not for the world or the sky. Not even for Minako.

"And there was that stupid letter you left. I can't believe you left that for us a whole day before the surgery. It was practically a suicide note. What if everything had been all right when we found it? That was a really mean thing to do."

And just like that, the walls began to rebuild themselves around her.

"Do you still have it?" Minako asked.

"It's in my bottom left drawer over there, stuck in the pages of my dictionary."

"Why a dictionary?"

"Because I never use it."

The Senshi of Love reluctantly smiled.

"You always have been a woman of few words."

"Well you can borrow it if you want. Your songs have been a bit flat lately. It might help to use a few more colorful adjectives."

"I'd need a thesaurus for that."

"Well I don't have one."

"Ami probably does. And since when do you listen to my songs?"

"Since Usagi started making me. It's awful. I've had to start carrying aspirin with me."

"You should carry Vicodin. It might help you smile more."

Rei released a slightly bitter laugh.

"So says the eternally frigid 'holier than though' Princess of Venus."

And their eyes finally met. Though it was in an icy glare, the sudden fleeting contact frightened them both, and their eyes fled one another as quickly as they were found.

"Okay. I'll give you that one. Sometimes I think I have the emotional capacity of a fish."

"Well you don't, Minako. You're not like a fish, I mean. I can see it in your eyes, the things you feel. It's not hard, even for me. People think I'm dense when it comes to this kind of stuff, but I'm not."

It was happening again. Rei felt herself softening. Stupid Minako and the stupid effect she had on her.

"Believe me; I know what it's like to bury your feelings. It doesn't make you cold, just hard. You're only cold if you truly don't care. You'd have to be a sociopath. And you, Minako, are not a sociopath."

Minako could hardly believe her ears. Why was she saying these things? Was Rei actually trying to comfort her?

"I was so hardened, Minako, probably even more that you. I don't know how Makoto does it. She was always so much nicer than me."

"Maybe it's just a facade, Makoto I mean. Maybe she's just better at hiding than we are."

"It's possible, I guess. Or maybe she's just braver. Kindness isn't born from fear."

Minako felt her breathing momentarily stop. What a wonderfully Rei thing to say.

"You could be a poet, you know."

"You think so?"

"I do."

And Minako yawned sleepily in the dim bedroom light. Rei turned off the lamp and they lay down together, apart.

"Goodnight, Rei."

Minako was wooed out of sleep when the bed shook as Rei climbed out. The sun wasn't even up yet and Minako wondered why she was up so early. Temple duties maybe. For an instant she considered getting up to help, but the bed was so warm and the air was so cool. Even though it made no difference in her level of comfort, Minako felt slightly lonely as Rei left her. She tried to block the thought from her mind and drifted back to her dreams.

It must have been two hours later when she awoke to the sounds of someone shuffling about with pots and pans.

"How about some eggs?" Rei called from the kitchen.

"Eggs sounds good," Minako replied sleepily. She emerged from her warm cocoon and tiptoed into the kitchen to join her Fire Senshi. She sat down at the table and rested her chin in her hands. The memories of last night still swam around in her mind. All the things they said to each other, had it truly happened? Minako felt nervous in Rei's presence. She wasn't sure what to expect. Would Rei be her usual distant self, or had things between them changed?

"You want toast, too?"

"Yes, please."

This was going to be an awkward breakfast, Minako knew. She tried to tell herself it shouldn't be, that she should relax. She figured Rei would say what she wanted to, nothing more, nothing less. But was that really a reasonable assumption? It was obvious there were many things Rei had kept from her, from everyone for that matter. Minako had restrained from sharing so many things herself, so it only made sense that Rei was the same.

She hated this feeling. Uncertainty and anticipation. She couldn't trust herself to stay closed if Rei asked her another question like the one she had last night.

"Oh, to hell with it all," she muttered to herself.

"To hell with what?"

"Oh, um...just this song I'm working on. Cant get the lyrics right," she lied. Minako wondered if Rei was shared her anxiety. Probably not. She was too sensible for that.

Rei placed a plate of steamy eggs and toast in front of her. Perfectly cooked and perfectly shaped. Makoto would have been proud.

"Thanks. Looks delicious."

They ate together as a heavy silence descended upon them. So maybe Rei wasn't going to say anything after all. Thank goodness, Minako thought. Rei toyed around with the last few pieces of crust left on her plate. She kept glancing up at her and then averting her gaze before Minako could catch her. Was she playing games? That wasn't like Rei at all. There was really only one alternative: she wanted to say something. Whether it was criticism or another emotional insight, she wasn't sure. Did Rei find her eating habits unappealing? Was she about to confess a juicy secret that would change their relationship forever? She had no idea. Maybe it was nothing at all. Minako was loosing her patience.

"Look," she blurted, "what ever it is you want to say just say it already. You're driving me insane," she said as she rolled her eyes.

Rei dropped her fork to the plate and glared at her. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yes you do. You've been staring at me the whole time. It's irritating."

"I have not," replied Rei, turning to the defensive.

Floodgates open, The Senshi of Love began to verbalize all her concerns.

"I don't get you, Rei," she sighed. "You were a different person last night. And who are you now? You cant expect me to understand you when you keep changing all the time."

"That's ridiculous, Minako. We've only been sitting here for half an hour. Maybe I'm just not feeling talkative, alright?"

"But that's just the point. There's something you want to say, I can tell. So why don't you just talk to me like you did before! I'm so sick of all this tension between us. I can't stand it any longer!"

Rei lowered her voice to a near hiss. "You are being so hypocritical right now. Up until last night you never talked to me about anything, ever. You just expected me to obey every word without question. Honesty goes both ways, Minako."

"That's not true. I told you I was dying. You were the only one. I chose you!" she cried. Years of restrained tears fell from her eyes and onto the table. All over some stupid argument that she had started. She was ashamed, angry, and Rei did nothing to comfort her. She simply stared from across the table and watched her grief.

As Minako's desperate sobs began to subside, Rei finally uttered a response.

"Minako, I...I'm sorry," she offered with a hesitation that was unusual to her.

"Oh don't be," Minako retorted. "You're usually to busy feeling sorry for yourself, anyways."

Though she was staring at the table, she heard Rei's sharp intake of breath. Minako instantly regretted her cutting remark as Rei abruptly stood and began to clear the table.

"Gee, Rei," she imitated as she picked up Minako's plate, "thanks for making me breakfast, and lending me your home, and your bed..."

Minako felt a threatening lump grow in her throat. This was all her fault. Stupid, she scolded herself. Stupid insensitive idiot.

Rei stood motionless in the kitchen holding Minako's dirty plate. Why couldn't things between them just be easy for once? Couldn't they even share a simple meal? She so desperately wanted Minako to know her. Though tactless, she was right. There were so many things she wanted to say to her, everything. Just let go, she told herself. Just be you.

Rei felt a nervous hand slowly slide up her back and rest on her shoulder.

"Rei," she whispered.

Her hands shook as she set the plate down on the counter and turned to face her. Their eyes locked in an unsettlingly honest glance, their first truly shared. And the space between them boiled and evaporated into thin air. The atmosphere vanished and the remaining vacuum pulled them endlessly closer.

They were both terrified and trembled as they drew nearer, each waiting for the other to pull away. But neither did. In a moment, an eternity, they were less than an inch apart, their hearts beating so fast they might have caused an earthquake. Each desperately sought for an escape, another biting comment, anything to free themselves from the only logical conclusion looming only seconds away. But their gravity was too strong to overcome, and the Senshi's of Love and Fire fell headfirst into each other, into everything they had tried so hard to extinguish since their first, heated meeting in a house of God.

And it happened.

The kiss was shy. Their lips held one another for no more than a few seconds. All things unsaid expressed in the faintest touch.

Their lips let go and they touched their foreheads together.

"Minako," Rei answered as she placed her hands on her sides and pulled her in. Her own shaky legs could hardly support themselves much longer.

"I don't care what you say Rei. I just want to understand you. I want you to understand me."

"But I don't," she admitted. "I cant unless you help me."

"I will, Rei," she promised. "I will."

And she pulled away. Out of fear, out of confusion. An overload of her still recovering senses. She hurriedly walked back to the bedroom to change, leaving Rei breathless in the kitchen.

A/N: Love it? Hate it? I wanna know! I'm not sure if this should stay as a oneshot or if I should ccontinue. Let me know what you think. )