My heart beat, beats me senselessly
Why does everything got to be so intense with me?
I'm trying to handle all this unpredictability
In all probability

---

Waking up was slow and hazy. Last night had been long and unforgiving. Maybe I was hung-over. God knows my head was pounding. Alcohol always made me feel empty the next day, a stark contrast to the warm fuzzy mess it made me the night before. Men had always told me I was better when I drank. I knew what that meant. It meant that a couple of beers made me too friendly with the guys, too easy with who I spread my legs to, too ready to give in.

A couple of beers made me the best girl in the bar.

Although no one seemed to care that I hated the stuff. I'd had a taste of some expensive wine when I was barely twelve, that was more my style. Not that I'd ever be able to afford that anyway. And besides, I liked it better when men bought me my drinks. Which they did.

I had a power over men. I always had. Ever since I was a kid I knew that with a bat of my eyes I could send boys fumbling and make them blush. My blue eyes and dark black hair was a dangerous combination. The sway of my hips, the readiness of my smile, and the curves of my body all worked to my advantage. Or at least they did for most men.

One man had always been different. Always.

Butch Sawyer.

---

"Sadie!" My best friend Fiona was waving to me at the corner of the street and I walked towards her. Summer was in full swing and school seemed to be a distant memory. Next year I'd be going to High School. I was fourteen and ready for the challenge. "There you are, I thought you weren't coming."

"I wouldn't miss this," I told her confidently as I eyed the long line of people waiting to get into the club. I shifted excitedly. My first fake idea was clutched tightly in my palm, the line of plastic cutting into my skin.

"Do you really think this will work?" Fiona asked as she checked her reflection in her compact mirror. Another layer of lipstick and she clicked it shut. "I don't think I look eighteen."

"Of course this will work," I carefully adjusted the clip in my hair. The tight black tendrils fell around my face and bare shoulders and smelled of thick hairspray and perfume. "All we have to do is act confident and the bouncer won't even care. My older sister does this all the time, trust me!"

"If my step-mom finds out I'm blaming this all on you," Fiona sighed as she followed me down the sidewalk and towards the door to the club where music pulsed loudly.

I grinned at her and shook my head. "You'll be thanking me later. All the hot older guys hang out at clubs."

"Sure," She drew out, sounding pleased but unconvinced at the same time.

Once we got to the door a brick-wall of a man stood in our way. The bouncer. The kind where sunglasses were standard and his bulging arms were crossed over his huge chest. He seemed to be staring down at Fiona and I, probably wondering why two little girls were in front of him and not in the back of the line. I stared up at him airily.

"Hey," I tossed him an easy smile, angling my hips towards him like I did to the boys on my street. My short skirt and small top bared enough skin so that there was little left to imagine. I pointed at the clip board with the list of VIP members on it. "I think we're on your list."

"Little kids don't make the list," He said gruffly. Cold.

I heard the click of Fiona's heels as she shifted behind me.

I didn't falter. "Really?" I giggled. "Could you look again?"

"Move along," The bouncer didn't budge. I flicked a look to the velvet rope and tilted my head. "Now."

"Let's just go," Fiona tugged on my elbow, sounding a bit defeated.

I squared my shoulders and pulled away from her. I jutted my chin up and gave the body guard a cool glance. I had dressed up, snuck out of my house, walked all the way to the club in heels, and I wasn't going to be turned away. My small hand reached out and slid along the thick forearm of the guard. His skin was warm and hairy and my stomach bubbled with anticipation as it always did when I was around dangerous men.

"Come on," I said to him in a soft, low voice. "Can't you just let us in? We won't make any trouble."

Suddenly his meaty hand wrapped around my wrist and I gasped, dropping my fake Id in shock. He pulled me closer and I was very aware that he could break my wrist in a heartbeat if he chose to.

"Don't push it, kid," The bouncer murmured in an intimidating manner. "You're much too young to handle the trouble I'd give you. You're just some girl off the streets. You ain't special."

I bit my lip but didn't bother tugging at my wrist, I knew I couldn't escape his hold. His words cut me and I smiled quickly to hide any insecurity that might have shown. I had slept with boys before, but none as old or burly as him. The anticipation in my stomach quickly turned to fear as I realized I had stuck myself into a bad situation. It was a common occurrence when it came to me.

"Let her go," Fiona snapped at him, her face drawn pensively as she yanked at his arm, trying to get him off me.

"Jesus, Darrell," A slick voice said from behind us. The three of us turned to see a group of men walking past the line and heading towards us. "Assaulting little girls? That can't be good for business."

"Hey Ace," The bouncer, Darrell, seemed almost sheepish but he didn't drop my wrist. "The boss didn't tell me you were coming tonight."

"Will that be a problem?" Ace asked. He was a lean, greasy guy that was probably around twenty. Like Darrell, he was wearing sunglasses too despite the dark summer night. I inwardly rolled my eyes, thinking that they both looked a bit stupid.

"No, no, of course not," Darrell quickly reached with his free hand and unlatched the rope, allowing the group of men to pass through. I watched, curious as they moved. They were obviously important. Maybe they were that new gang my mother had been warning me about. Obviously Darrell had been ordered to suck up to them.

"Could you let me go?" I asked once I remembered myself. I gave the bouncer an annoyed look.

"What?" He gave me a small leer that contrasted with his deadpanned tone. "I thought you were all big and brave."

I huffed, feeling a bit corned. Fiona seemed to be looking around, maybe for a cop or some sort of help. The fun night I had promised her was quickly disappearing. I opened my mouth, maybe to scream or beg. Maybe to flirt again. I'd sleep with him if only he'd let go of my wrist. It was bruising already and the small bones were rubbing painfully together. But before I could speak a boy walked back out of the club. One of the ones that man Ace had following him.

"Ace said to let her go," The boy told the bouncer in the most bored tone I'd ever heard. He didn't even spare me a glance.

"Why?" Darrell didn't seem too sure of what to do. Teaching me a lesson was obviously very appealing to him.

The boy narrowed his jade green eyes and even in the bad lighting of the darkened street the pure jade color shown bright. I'd never seen anyone with such pure green eyes before. Pure and dark and completely cold.

"Because Ace said so," The boy seemed mad that he had to deal with this. He was young so he probably wasn't too high up in the pecking order. The developing curve of his jaw and lanky form of his muscles told me that he was about my age, maybe a bit older. His hair, short and messy, was the same inky color of my own locks.

With slight reluctance Darrell let go of my wrist. I gave him a triumphant smile and he clenched his jaw. I knew if I stayed around too long he'd change his mind and knock me around a bit. And so before it was too late I grabbed Fiona's arm and pulled her to the still open rope gate. The boy watched me closely as I sidled up to his side and smiled at him.

"We're going in with you, right?" I asked him in a voice I knew sent boy's minds straight to the bedroom.

He didn't blush or start stuttering like most boys my age. He didn't grab me or leer like most men. Instead he just shrugged, looking completely indifferent and for the first time since I could remember a boy actually turned away from me. Fiona and I looked at each other, shocked, before quickly following him into the club.

"That was a close one," Fiona told me later as we sipped drinks that a few men had bought for us. "I thought for sure that bouncer was going to break your wrist."

I looked down at my arm and even in the strobe lights of the club I could see the ugly bruise.

I just shrugged. I'd had bruises before and I knew they faded. Everything did. Beauty faded, love faded, interest faded. That was life. Which is why I liked to live in the moment the best I could. My crushes on boys lasted all of a second and my fun always ended, but I used up each to the fullest while possible.

"It was worth it," I told her plainly as I looked out at the club. In a far corner was part of the gang that had passed by earlier. That Ace guy had disappeared, probably to one of the back rooms, and the younger ones remained. The boy with the green eyes was sitting stoically, listening to a blonde boy talk with a bored expression. "That guy is gorgeous."

Fiona rolled her eyes, clearly not impressed.

"He looks dangerous," She commented wryly.

"Good," I grinned. "I wonder what his name is."

"Butch Sawyer," A boy said as he slid up to my side. I smiled quickly at him.

"Excuse me?" I giggled and raised an eyebrow.

"His name is Butch Sawyer," The boy pointed over to the green eyed kid.

I soaked in this information, liking the way it set. Sawyer. I'd heard that name before. He must've been one of the Sawyer Brothers. Local hoods that had seemed to fall in with a particularly rough crowd. I stared over at Butch, willing his eyes to turn to me but they never did. I sighed and turned my attention back to the boy beside me.

"And you are?" I asked the boy. He wasn't much to look at, but he had given me some useful information.

"Snake," He grinned at me. "What's your name?"

"Sadie Wilson," I leaned in close to whisper it in his ear, ignoring his corny nickname. "Nice to meet you Snake."

He stiffened slightly at my proximity and then smiled knowingly. "Let me buy you a beer, Sadie." He said slowly as he looked me over. He slurred his 'S's slightly and I knew his lisp was probably what gave him his name.

"Please do," I replied as he got up and walked away. I looked back over to where Butch was sitting and smiled. I'd milk this Snake guy for more information. Because everything faded eventually, but I would make this new excitement I had last a bit longer. Because his green eyes were very nice and danger was always a weakness of mine.

"You have that look in your eyes," Fiona told me. "That one like you've just seen the messiah."

"Maybe I have," I smiled. "Mark my words, Fiona, Butch Sawyer will be mine."

No one ignored me for long.

---

"Sadie, are you up?" Snake asked me as he reached over to shake my shoulder. I opened one eye and peeked out at him. He was half dressed and looking for the rest of his clothes that were scattered across the floor.

"Go back to sleep, Snake," I told him playfully. I buried my face into the pillow, wondering vaguely why he was still here. He never stayed until the morning. No one ever did. I was okay with that though. As my mother had taught me, I was never comfortable with men seeing me without makeup. Mornings left me looking less than glamorous.

"I can't," He explained, still looking for something. His jeans, probably. "There's a fight this morning."

"Well then…go get 'em!" I raised a fist and pumped it, my voice still muffled by the pillow.

I heard snake laugh. "Sadie, come on! If you're going to talk to me at least look at me."

---

"Come on, Butch, at least look at me," I grabbed Butch's shoulder and lightly ran my nails down his back. He reached back and batted my hand away, his eyes still closed. I sighed. "Butch."

"What does it matter?" He asked in that jaded, careless way he had.

"Well normally men look at me after sex," I told him cutely, laying my body against him so that he could tell I was still naked. He was too but obviously he was tired.

"It's just sex, Sadie," He said with annoyance.

But it wasn't just sex. Not to me. I had known Butch now for two years. Now at sixteen I had wormed my way into his life in the only way I knew how. Sex. But unfortunately that was all we ever did. Random hookups when he couldn't find anyone else. My hope to be something more than a fling was a farfetched but real.

I rested my head on his back. It scared me how much I wanted the boy beneath me. I'd never been so obsessed. In love. I wanted to be near him all the time. I wanted him to protect me, with both his reputation and his fists. I wanted him to love me too. I wanted him to like me. But most of all, I just wanted him to look at me.

"Stay for breakfast," I begged gently, the need coming out in my tone and I cringed.

"No," Butch sighed and rolled away, leaving me alone on the bed. I sat, clutching the sheet to my body as he got dressed. He was already finished with me, his mind somewhere else.

"Stay," I said again.

He said nothing as he left.

---

"I don't have any makeup on," I complained as Snake gently rolled me onto my back. His dark brown eyes were crinkled slightly at the edges as he smiled. His nose, slightly too big for his face, scrunched as he moved his fingers over the side of my cheek.

"You look fine," He told me, rolling his eyes affectionately. "Perfect."

I blushed but hid it well. Snake continued to get dressed, pulling on his jeans and looking around for his jacket. I rubbed my eyes, feeling gross, and wished to jump in the shower. My hair was probably a wreck.

"Why did you wake me up?" I laid back down on the pillow but this time let myself watch him as he moved about. I realized that he was oddly familiar with my apartment. He seemed to know where everything was and was comfortable. He had been around enough but still it struck me as strange how used to me he was.

"I wanted to say bye to you before I left," He looked back over at me. Snake was a tangle of brown. He had dark brown eyes, light brown skin, and dusty brown hair that curled around his ears. They were all warm, soft colors that seemed boyish much like the gentle lisp of his voice. He wasn't completely unattractive. He'd grown on me.

"Why?" I muttered. It was too early. I should still be sleeping.

"The fight today will be dangerous…I might not be coming back and…" He trailed off and gazed out of the window.

"Don't be so negative," I stretched out, letting the kinks in my body loosen. "You'll be fine."

Snake smiled. "You think so?"

"Of course," I smiled. "Because we have a date tonight and you know better than to stand me up."

He laughed and the sound filled my apartment.

---

"He's just not the type to settle down," Snake told me as we stood out in the street. I was waiting for Butch to show up so that I could go slink up to him and make myself be seen. I was wearing a new skirt and heels so high that I felt as if I were a giant.

"Butch is so complicated," I shook my head but I knew that was one thing I liked about him. He was different, mysterious and ruined. I liked that.

"Sadie, I'm not joking," Snake sounded as if he were actually worried about me but I ignored him. I knew he had feelings for me. He had for a while. "Butch isn't going to ever like you the way you like him."

I gave him my patented smile, intent on ignoring the little voice in my head that told me Snake was right.

"Mind your own business, Snake," I told the boy with a little bit of annoyance. "I don't see why you even care." I looked around the street and wondered why Butch hadn't shown up yet. It was his seventeenth birthday and he always met up with his brothers on his birthday. Surely they were coming here.

"I don't know why I care either," Snake muttered.

"Then leave," I snipped cheekily. With a disheartened sigh I plopped down on the curb, my feet stuck out into the road and the hard concrete on my butt. I leaned my elbows against my knees and my chin in my palm. Where was he?

"You're so obsessive," Snake told me. "It's pathetic."

"And you're not?" I shot back and his eyes narrowed. A twinge of guilt filled my stomach but I pushed it away. Snake didn't matter. Neither did any of the other boys that trailed after me in the halls of my high school. No one mattered except Butch.

"You're such a bitch," Snake's tone seemed defeated so it was a bit of a surprise when I felt him sit next to me on the curb. I figured he'd just leave me.

"I'm not a bitch," I pouted as I scanned the streets again.

"He's not coming," Snake said after a short pause.

I blinked back tears of rejection. Butch was the one boy that could ever make me cry.

"I know." I said stiffly but still I didn't move.

"Do you want me to wait with you?" Snake seemed to be resigned.

I looked over at him for the first time since he'd shown up, taking in his messy form. His brown eyes met mine and he smiled as he looked at me. A soft, knowing, resigned smile.

"Yes," I whispered as I looked away. "Please."

---

"Guess what?" Snake pressed as he sat down on the bed to put on his shoes. I still wasn't sure why I was still awake.

"What?" I asked.

"It snowed last night," He smiled.

"The first snow…" I trailed off, craning my neck to see out the window. I couldn't so I stopped trying. I was too lazy to get up. I never really cared for snow anyway. All it did was cover up everything and make it cold. Sure it was pretty at first but nothing stayed so pure for long. "Wow. It's about time."

"Yep," He shrugged. "So I was thinking I need to check out your heater. It gave out twice yesterday and I don't want it to quit working on you. It's too cold not to have a heater."

I smiled and rolled my eyes. "You don't have to look out for me, Snake. I'm a big girl, I can handle myself."

"Most girls like to be taken care of," Snake reminded me.

"I'm not most girls," I reminded him.

He looked at me. Really looked at me in that way that made me scared. No one looked at me like Snake did. Not even Butch. Especially not Butch. I frowned and turned my head into the pillow, annoyed suddenly and a bit sullen. I wished Snake would just go away. Let me sleep.

"You're better than most girls," Snake told me, sounding a bit awkward.

I thought of the track marks on my arms. I thought of how I had thrown myself at Butch just the other day. How was I better than anyone?

"Don't patronize me," I bit out into the pillow.

"I'm serious, Sadie," Snake touched my shoulder.

---

"I'm serious, Sadie," Butch told me coldly. "Get lost."

"Why?" I smiled, rubbing against him teasingly as I slid onto a barstool. "Aren't you in the mood?"

"Aren't you with Snake now?" He pushed me back so that I wasn't touching him.

I frowned but quickly recovered with a bright flash of teeth. "That's never stopped you before." Butch said nothing. He stared out at the bar, ignoring me. I hated when he ignored me. I hated how he could make me feel invisible. "Or maybe you're just in the mood for that blonde neighbor of yours."

Butch cut me a look.

"Ace told me that you had it bad for some new girl," I tossed my hair. "Surely she isn't prettier than me, Butch. And she can't do for you what I can do for you."

"I said get lost," He bit out.

I ducked my head, feigning embarrassment. In all honesty I hadn't been embarrassed since I was a kid. How could you be embarrassed when you had no morals, no boundaries?

"Who is she?" I asked, feeling a bit lost for a moment. Had Ace been right? Had Butch actually been sucked in by some girl from uptown? I thought he was stronger than that. I thought that if he ever settled down it would be with me.

"Sadie," Butch moved away, tossing his words over his shoulder. "Get a life."

---

"Shouldn't you be going to the fight?" I asked Snake, a warning in my tone. It was time for him to leave.

"Sadie, I need to talk to you," Snake shook my shoulder. Gentle. He was always gentle with me. He was never ruff and cold and unforgiving. If anything he was too forgiving. He saw who I was. He saw all my faults, my mistakes, my stupidity, my desperation. He'd watch me fall and stumble and loose. He didn't care though. He treated me the same as he always did. Gentle.

"Then talk to me later tonight," I told him. "I need to sleep."

I heard him sigh. "Sadie."

Would he always be so patient with me? Would he always just keep coming around?

"Why do you like me?" I asked him hesitantly. I'd never asked a guy that before. I'd never really wanted to know and I still wasn't sure I'd like the answer.

He laughed again. "Why?" He repeated. "Sadie, come on, you're gorgeous."

"That's it?" I asked. "You only like me because I'm gorgeous?"

Suddenly I was being pulled up so that I was sitting in front of him, the sheets a tangle beneath us. Snake was considering me with his big brown eyes. I was aware that I wasn't wearing any clothes, any makeup, and my hair was a wreck. But still he looked at me like he always looked at me. I wondered what that meant. I wondered if it meant anything at all.

"I like you because I do," He said at last.

I reached up and touched the tattoo on his cheek. It was a cobra that stretched and coiled up his neck and across his face. I had had rolled my eyes when he first got it but now it just seemed to suit him. It messed up his face, making him slightly less boyish.

"That's not a good reason," I told him sarcastically.

"Sure it is," He smiled and then looked down almost anxiously. "But like I said before, I need to talk to you."

I giggled and plopped back down.

"Save it," I said, kicking his side lightly. "I'm still tired."

"But it's important," He tried again. "And we may not have another chance to talk about it."

"Quit saying that!" I told him sharply.

"But I'm serious," He said, just a sharply.

"Fine," I huffed. "What is it?"

---

"What is it?" Fiona asked me. I made a quick, slicing motion with my hand to warn her to shut up. She rolled her eyes and continued in a more hushed tone. "Well, why did you pull me into this alley? It better be a good reason."

"I think that's her," I leaned out from where I was crouched behind a trash can so that I could point across the street. I'd made a quick leap into the alley and I hadn't had time to find a better spot.

"Who?" Fiona squinted, looking to where I was pointing.

"That blonde right there," I said, my voice low. "I think that's the one Butch is seeing. Bubbles or something like that."

Fiona gave of a whistle and I elbowed her sharply. She giggled and shrugged. "Sorry," She laughed. "But that girl is pretty." She leaned back out for a second peek and so did I.

The girl was pretty. In that annoyingly innocent way. She was standing across the street wearing a tan diner uniform which thankfully made her look a little worse. She had pale, perfect skin, a heart shaped face, and long blonde hair. Even from across the street I could see the bright blue of her eyes. She was, in short, beautiful. There was no mistaking it.

"Wow," Fiona sighed. "I wish my hair looked like that."

I sent her a cold look and she shrugged.

"Don't worry," She laughed. "She won't last. Butch never stays with a girl for long. This one will be out of the picture soon and he'll be back to you."

"You think?" I asked, trying not to sound too unsure.

"Of course," Fiona rolled her eyes. "Now come on, let's go. I have to get to work and so do you."

"Fine, fine," I grinned and then froze when across the street something else caught my eye. Butch was walking up to the blonde, stopping and waiting for her before continuing on. "He's walking her home." I said, sounding a bit dazed. Butch didn't walk people home. Butch wasn't nice. Butch wasn't considerate. I stared, unbelieving.

"Maybe she is different," Fiona frowned, looking as if she'd beat up the blonde for me if I just asked.

"No," I said, determined. "She's not different."

I was supposed to be the different one. He was supposed to fall for me. He was supposed to love me. He had to. How could all those nights mean nothing? How could he really have been with me but not really care? It didn't make sense. How could one little blonde girl come into the picture and ruin everything? It just didn't make sense.

"Let's go," Fiona suggested.

"Fine," I said quietly and made sure to smile brightly when Fiona sent me a look. "It doesn't matter, right? She's not different."

---

"Sadie, you and I have been together for a while now," Snake began and I stared blankly at him. I wondered vaguely if he was breaking up with me and couldn't quite blame him if he was. But still a twinge of panic seeped in my skin. If he left me I'd be alone. "And I know that you aren't exactly in love with me but…"

"You want to know a secret?" I asked Snake, cutting him off.

He blinked and then nodded.

"I don't really believe in love," I sighed. "I used to, but not anymore."

"Are you always so depressing?" He smiled.

"Shut up, I'm serious," I bit back a smile. "Love is a lie. No one really cares about anyone but themselves. People lead you on and feed you hope and then suddenly they're gone. That's life."

I thought of my dad who left when I was only six. I thought of my mom who died my senior year of high school. I thought of all the times men had left me high and dry. I thought of Butch and how he never really cared and never even pretended to.

"Do you want to know a secret?" Snake asked me and oddly enough I did. I knew little about him and suddenly I was curious.

"Sure," I shrugged as if it didn't matter. If I pretended then maybe someone would believe me.

"I don't really believe in love either," He smiled as if it was all so sad yet funny at the same time. Maybe it was. Maybe life was really all some sad, sick joke.

"What do you believe in?" I asked.

---

"Do you ever think that you could get over him?" Snake asked as he half-carried me up the stairs to my apartment. I'd fallen off the wagon and looked up some old friends of mine. Drugs were hard and extreme, maybe that's why I liked them. Maybe I just liked the feeling of being alright even if I really wasn't.

"I don't know," I slurred, my eyes heavy. My feet were barely moving and I knew that without Snake I wouldn't make it to my apartment. Without him I would have still been back at the creepy dealer's house, passed out and having him do god knows what to me. I told myself I didn't care, but in truth I knew that I was better off with Snake.

He would take care of me. He always had.

I heard him sigh. "He's not good for you."

Snake had tried to convince me this point numerous times. I never listened. I never cared. But still he hung around, waiting to pick me up off the ground every time Butch let me fall.

"I'm so tired," I told Snake.

"Come on," He pulled me up so that I felt as if I were being rocked on the ocean, his arms and gait a constant sway. I'd never been on a boat before, but I figured it'd be like this. "Let's get you inside so that you can sleep."

"Just sleep?" I asked him, blearily reaching up to touch his lips with the tips of my fingers.

"Yeah," He said softly. "Just sleep, Sadie. You're in no condition for anything else."

I frowned and closed my eyes. I wasn't used to guys when they didn't want sex. Why was he doing this if that's not what he wanted?

"Whatever," I slurred.

"Just go to sleep, Sadie," Snake sighed. "I'll take care of you."

I drifted off, for once letting myself believe that it was true. Maybe he didn't want to sleep with me that night. Maybe he had other reasons for hanging around. Whatever his reasons were, I was trusting.

He would take care of me. He always had.

Even though I never asked him to.

---

"What do you believe in?" I repeated.

Snake sighed and laid down beside me, shoes and all. His hands fumbled awkwardly, touching his pocket, his hair, his chin, before finally settling down on my bare hip. His dark brown eyes, intense and warm, settled on me. His face was close and I could smell the mint on his breath from where he'd brushed his teeth.

"Us," He said softly. "I believe in us, Sadie."

I frowned, feeling as if I were hot and cold all at once.

"What?" I laughed. "Snake, what are you talking about?"

"We could work," He continued as if I weren't amused and confused and scared all at once. "We could be really good together, you and me. If we just work together and stick it out, we could be okay. I could look out for you and you could be there for me. It could work."

"What, like a business deal?" I rolled my eyes. "That isn't very romantic."

"I don't know how to be romantic, but I can learn," Snake smiled, making the tattoo on his face bounce. "We could learn how to be together."

"We're already together," I reminded him, talking slowly.

"No, I want to be together for real," He fumbled again, trying to look anywhere but at me. His hand moved off my hip and to his pocket again. "I want to be the only guy you ever sleep with and I want you to be the only girl I come home to."

"Snake…?" I frowned.

And then there was a ring, pulled from his pocket and held gingerly out to me between two fingers. I froze, staring at the small diamond and silver setting. It was an engagement ring. Small and simple and pretty.

"I'm not Butch," Snake sighed. "I never will be. But I promise I'll be here for you for as long as I can. I won't let you down."

And for once no memory came to me. No reminder of Butch or all the failing we had. Nothing. Because Butch had never said anything like that to me. He never would. Butch would never love me. But Snake…Snake was offering something almost too good to be true. He was offering a chance. A chance to start over, to forget all my mistakes, and to become someone else. Someone better.

He was offering me hope.

I hadn't had that in so long.

"I…I don't even have makeup on…" I stuttered out, for once losing my cool around a guy.

"You don't need it," Snake grinned and touched my cheek.

My hands flew up to touch my head. "My hair-"

"You look fine, Sadie," Snake laughed. "Now come on, give me your answer."

I stared at him in disbelief. "You…but you didn't even ask me a question."

Snake rolled his eyes affectionately and slid from the bed. I sat up and watched as he kneeled on the floor, looking up at me on my perch and holding the ring out to me. A ready, confident look ran through his eyes as he looked at me. Looked at me like only he could. Looked at me as if I was worth something.

"Will you marry me, Sadie Wilson?" He asked.

I blinked. There is was, the question I thought I'd never hear. Never expected to hear. Never dreamt. There it was.

"We'll figure this all out together, Sadie," Snake said softly.

"But I'm such a mess," I mumbled.

"I know," He grinned. "Trust me, it's okay."

"I don't even know your real name," I looked up, feeling as if I should try and talk him out of this. He didn't know what he was getting into. He surely thought I was someone else. Someone better. Not the wreck that I was.

"Is that all?" He laughed. "My name is Keith. Keith Parks."

"Keith," I said quietly, testing it out.

If anything Snake—Keith, just smiled wider. "It sounds even better when you say it."

I laughed and shook my head. "You're crazy."

"Sadie," Keith pressed. "Come on."

I blinked down at him and the ring her was offering. I could say no. I could crush him, turn away, continue on with my empty life of one night stands and boys who would never care. Or I could marry him and finally be with someone who for once gave a damn. Be with someone who actually looked at me and didn't mind what he saw.

"Yes," I said, smiling for real this time. "Yes."

And the ring was slipped on my finger and I pulled him onto the bed with me. I kissed him the best I knew how.

"I'll try really hard," I told him earnestly. "I'll try to be a good wife."

"Just be yourself, Sadie," Keith kissed my forehead. "That's always been enough for me."

---

Butch?

Butch who?

---

It's a long shot but I say why not?
If I say forget it I know that I'll regret it
It's a long shot just to beat these odds
The chance is we won't make it
But I know if I don't take it
There's no chance
Cause you're the best I got
So take the long shot

---

A quick one-shot between two minor characters. This is a companion story to TOTL,TUTV. It falls the day off the big fight with the Audley Boys. I hope you enjoyed some fluff. Maybe this will cure my writer's block :-)

Review and be kind!