posted after a long time of procastinating and tryingto come up with a title for the story XD thanks to everyone on LJ for helping me out!
Disclaimer: don't own the characters, i'm just using them!
reviews make me very happy and more liable to updating :D whee!
"I'm sorry to tell you this, Sawada-san," a tired middle-aged man pulled off a white lab coat and placed it on his chair. He then picked a thick stack of papers from his table and reached across to give them to Sawada Iemitsu and Nana. "But your child is one of the rare cases of being a hermaphrodite. You may choose to continue raising her as she is now, and I'll prescribe her medicine for testosterone, or you can raise her as a female and get a different prescription for breast enhancement for when she gets older, but she won't be able to have children if she is raised as a female."
"I don't understand," Nana's hands trembled, blankly staring at the papers in her husband's hand, their sleeping child cradled in the other arm. "She's a girl; she doesn't have any boy parts. Are you playing around with us? Even if our child has a boy's name, and has been raised to be a bit of a tomboy-!" She angrily turned to the doctor who cut her off before she could go further.
"Sawada-san, I had no intention of upsetting you. To put it shortly, your child has a chromosomal anomaly that can cause someone who possesses female chromosomes to have outwardly male features or vice-versa. Before I can prescribe any medications however, the both of you will need to decide how to raise your child as a male or female."(1) He said.
Nana turned to Iemitsu. "Anata, what should we do?" Iemitsu put the packet down on the desk and held his wife's hand, briefly meeting with her pleading gaze. "This is not something we can decide on the spot." He said. Iemitsu slightly turned his head. "I would prefer that we have some time to think about this carefully, because this is our child's future after all." The doctor gathered the packet and put it in a file case.
"Of course. Call me at this number when you and your family are ready to discuss this further." The doctor held out a small business card and bowed to the family as they got up and left. Once they were home, Nana finally broke down and cried for her child. Iemitsu bent down and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her up and leading her to the living room where she could sit on the couch. The jostling and sounds of crying woke Tsuna up. She blearily rubbed at one eye with a chubby hand.
"Mommy...?" Nana hiccupped and stared at Tsuna through watery eyes. "Why are you crying? Are you sad?" Tsuna stretched an arm and touched Nana's wet cheek, her own eyes beginning to well up in sympathy. Iemitsu sat down on the couch with Nana, transferring Tsuna into her mother's lap as he wrapped his arms around both of them. Tsuna curled up in Nana's lap, head tucked in the crook of her neck and Nana petting her hair.
"Yes," she whispered. "Mommy is sad." Tsuna peered at her with those large brown eyes and asked her 'why' in that unnerving way all children did. Nana let out a great heaving sob, frantically thinking of a way to put in terms how Tsuna's life would be different.
"Because," she paused. "Tsuna is both a boy and girl and you can't have your own babies anymore." she whispered. Iemitsu bent his head forward and let his forehead rest on Nana's lightly. Tsuna's lip trembled and she hugged Nana tighter.
"I'm sorry, mommy. Then I'll be a good boy for you now on, because boys can't have babies." Tears streamed down Tsuna's cherubic cheeks. "So don't be sad mommy, 'cause I'll be a good boy for you from now on." Nana cried harder and clutched her precious child closer, shudders wracking both their frames. Iemitsu, the silent watcher closed his eyes and finally let a few tears slip through for the pain they all shared.
For the past nine years, nearing ten, Tsuna had cautiously kept his secret, always going into the bathroom stalls whenever he had to do his business or practicing in isolated rooms to perfect a male's voice until it seemed natural for someone of his stature because the medicine didn't seem to be taking any effect. In school, Tsuna never talked to anyone unless they talked to him first because he was afraid that they would find out his secret. He was called 'useless' and 'dame Tsuna' because as a 'male' he was not strong athletically and was also horrible academically. Eventually he began to admire Sasagawa Kyoko from far away because she was the epitome of what Tsuna wanted to be if he were a girl; smart, friendly, popular, bubbly and most of all, honest. Tsuna honestly expected his life to never change, always being useless as he was and plowing through life while trying to keep the world away from his secret. Meeting Reborn when he was hired as a tutor would mark the beginning of change as drastic as it was changed nearly ten years ago with that visit to the doctor's when he was four years old.
Tsuna sank into the hot water with a sigh, arms wrapped around his knees. He loved how the water could melt away his stress momentarily like a wave wiping the beach sand smooth. Frankly, Tsuna was surprised and very grateful that no one had figured out his secret yet. Well, everyone but his parents, his doctor and maybe Reborn. He wouldn't put it past the arcobaleno to get his hands on Tsuna's medical files. Tsuna didn't have to worry about Hibari or Kyoko's Onii-san because Tsuna rarely saw them. The people he had to worry about however were Gokudera-kun, Yamamoto, Haru and Kyoko-chan because they were constantly around him. He supposed that if they never saw him without his boxers off, his secret would be fine.
His head leaned back against the side of the bath. He really hated deceiving them though. Sometimes he wished he could outright tell them what he really was but...is he told them, would they think that he was disgusting? Hate him for lying to them for so long, after they had built strong bonds? Tsuna's tears dripped into the bathwater. If that were true then he'd never ever let them find out, even if he died. He never wanted to lose any of them, not after all they had gone through.
Nana's voice floated through the tiled floors from below, announcing that dinner was ready. Tsuna quickly ducked his head underwater, erasing all evidence of his tears before calling back.
"I'll be down soon! Start without me!" slowly, he climbed out of the bath, pausing momentarily to wipe his legs dry. Staring down, Tsuna stopped drying himself. He was wrong. Something like him wasn't supposed to exist. Originally, he was a girl, but now he was a boy. "No," Tsuna reminded himself. "You were always a boy because you can't have children. You are a boy that just happens to have a girl's lower body parts."
A familiar ache formed in his chest when he repeated those words to himself, as they always had. "A boy that still can't children of his own." Tsuna willed his eyes to stop welling up with tears, and succeeded. He scoffed and gave himself a weak smile as he passed by the mirror and out on his clothes.
"Well, I guess it doesn't matter much because I still wouldn't be any use as a girl anyways." He said. The words sounded so hollow to his ears. Tsuna trudged down the stairs, not seeing Reborn who had been standing by the bathroom door this whole time.
"Hey, Tsuna!" Dino saluted him with a waggling fork from his seat at the kitchen table. Tsuna blinked and pulled out a chair that was furthest of Dino, mindful of him because Romario was nowhere in sight. Later on he realized that barely anyone else was there too.
"Hello Dino-san. What are you doing over?" Dino pouted and accidentally let his fork splatter into his plate of food. "Oops! Sorry, I'll clean it up later. Anyways, Reborn called me over again to help out my cute little kawaii ototo-bun! What, I can't do that?" Reborn threw a bean at Dino's face. "Ouch!"
"Actually, he's here to watch over I-pin and Lambo while I train you. You're starting to fall behind in your studies again because they keep coming over and interrupting." Tsuna's head shot in the direction where Reborn's voice had come from. The hell! He wasn't there when he had sat down and now Reborn was halfway done with his food!
"Ow, that hurt! Anyways, Reborn, I thought that I was gonna help out again?" Dino rubbed at a small red mark on his cheek. "No, you just assumed that all by yourself. When taking care of them, don't forget to bring Romario to help you out." Dino pouted again and picked at his food.
"Tch! Fine, it's not like I have much of a choice to begin with anyways." They were quiet for a while, each person focusing on their food. Tsuna ate at a fast pace, not wanting to stay around in their company for longer. He finished his last bite and got up hastily, piling the dishes together. "Tsuna." Reborn's call made Tsuna pause momentarily. "You've been rather moody lately. That moodiness has also been displayed in your training, and you seem weaker because of it. Are you sure you're not a weak girl Tsuna?" Tsuna jumped, not expecting Reborn to confront him like that in front of Dino. Tsuna turned his head towards Reborn, already moving towards the sink.
"That's stupid Reborn, having emotions doesn't make me a girl! Who cares if I am moody anyways? I have a right to be with all the things you and everybody else keep pushing on me!" Tsuna deposited the dishes in the sink and sent a quick prayer to the gods that Dino wouldn't catch onto what Reborn was implying about him. Dino watched the both of them, a bit worried that they would start fighting.
"Don't take that tone with me dame-Tsuna; you haven't earned my respect yet." Tsuna's lips thinned into a straight line, deciding not to answer he turned on his heels and walked towards the stairs. Dino shot up from the table and dashed after Tsuna, accidentally tripping on his foot and causing himself and Tsuna, whom he had caught while flailing his arms to fall down. Tsuna scrambled out from underneath Dino, hesitantly helping Dino stand up.
"Ow, ow, ow...Sorry about that Tsuna, I tripped. Anyway, listen to me Tsuna; don't be mad at Reborn ok? That's just how he is, and back when he was training me, he's called me girl loads of times before! So don't take it personally ok? He's just trying to motivate you into training harder!" Dino smiled at him and all of a sudden Tsuna felt exhausted again.
"Yeah, I know. I'm really tired today Dino-san, so I'm just gonna head to my room and go to sleep early, ok? 'Night." Tsuna said. Dino's smile faltered briefly and he let go of Tsuna. "Sure, goodnight!" he said.
Over the next few days, Tsuna had been inexplicably moody. There were times when his patience would wear thinner than it usually did and he'd snap at whoever was annoying at that time or he would excuse himself from the group because he could feel that he was on the verge of crying his eyes out. Throughout that whole time Reborn was watching him closely but never said anything else.
Right now, Tsuna was in the mood to cry, nestled between the school's buildings, hidden in the shadows. Rarely anyone passed by where Tsuna was and for that he was grateful. He was curled up on one wall, tears streaming down his face and his bottom lip caught between his teeth to prevent them from trembling.
"What's wrong with me? Why am I being this way?" Tsuna drew his knees closer to his chest, his forehead pressing against them. He really hadn't meant to yell at Yamamoto, he had surprised even himself when he had done so. Earlier, Gokudera was quarreling with Yamamoto again, the latter brushing off everything as he usually did with the mafia. Hearing them argue was grating on his nerves so much that when he snapped and yelled at Yamamoto for being a naive idiot he couldn't stop until it was too late. He had slapped his hands over his mouth, intensely aware that everyone's attention was focused on his outburst. Unable to handle it, Tsuna had turned tail and ran away, ignoring the cries of everyone to come back. Even now he could still remember the look of hurt and confusion on Yamamoto's face, and shock on Gokudera's. He should have at least shouted sorry while eh was running away. But he didn't because Tsuna knew that he meant what he had said and also because he knew that he didn't have the courage to apologize after running away like that. Useless Tsuna indeed.
So here he was skipping all his classes to cry in an isolated area. He cried until he couldn't feel his eyes anymore falling asleep when he finally exhausted himself.
Tsuna woke up to the fading feeling of pain, and water droplets on his skin.(2) Shaking, his arms slowly loosened from around his legs, Tsuna assuming that they had tightened instinctively earlier. He looked up to see within the crack of the buildings that the sky was dark with black rain clouds. Faster and faster the rain drops fell with Tsuna staring at the sky, once again letting the water wash away the evidence of tears.
The pain faded away into a dull ache and Tsuna was finally able to stand. Tsuna shivered, wrapping his arms around his middle. The rain had plastered his clothes to his body, chilling him.
"Should I go home?" he asked himself. The thought of everyone gathered at his house made him reconsider. "No, not home, they'll all be there," He moved out from between the two buildings and raised his eyes seeing the fluorescent lights on the school's front doors. "I'll just stay here until tomorrow morning. And then I'll go home."
He dreaded meeting up with everyone again, but he knew he'd have to do it eventually...just not now. Luckily the doors were still unlocked, and he quickly made his way in. he left his class slippers by the doors to dry, feeling better now that he wasn't making wet, squishy noises whenever he took a step.
The chill and ache came back, causing Tsuna to shiver and wrap his arms around himself even tighter. "The nurse's room should have blankets and pain medicine..." he mumbled to himself. And so he headed towards the nurse's room, only to be disappointed by the locked door. Tsuna gave a small curse after rattling the door a few times in hopes of unlocking it.
He shifted foot from foot thinking of another place that would most likely be unlocked and have a place where he could at least have something soft to lay on. The reception room popped in his mind just as a particularly strong surge of pain shot up from his middle. Tsuna gave a strangled gasp, immediately curling and crouching on the floor, hands clenched tightly in his soaking uniform. He stayed like that for a few moments, taking short ragged breaths until the pain relented a little bit.
Slowly and shakily he got up, wishing that the nurse's office was unlocked and made his way towards the reception room. He desperately hoped that the reception room would have a supply of pain medicine in it, seeing as how Hibari seemed to be in there a lot.
The pain came and went frequently, forcing Tsuna to take multiple breaks until the pain fades enough to be bearable. Soon, the reception room was within his sights. Tsuna leaned against the wall he began to use as a crutch, the pain becoming stronger and stronger. Black had even began to crawl in into his eyesight.
"A little bit more," he rasped. "Just a bit more." Just as he reached the door, Tsuna received a new surging wave of pain. Overwhelmed, Tsuna's body gave a little jerk and he collapsed unconscious on the ground, making a loud thud. The door slammed open and Hibari appeared with a scowl.
"Who is trespassing on school grounds?" Seeing no one he lowered his gaze and saw Tsuna clutching his stomach. Hibari narrowed his eyes and used his foot to roll the boy over. "Hey, you. What are you doing here?" His only response was Tsuna unconsciously attempting to curl up in a ball. Hibari crouched down to peer at the boy closer, noting that he was shivering violently and his lips were turning blue. Without another word, Hibari picked Tsuna up, cradling him in his arms and was surprised to feel that Tsuna was very light even for someone as small as he was.
He dropped Tsuna on the couch, a bit perturbed by the scent of rain and blood. "Well, I suppose I could just make you owe me for saving your sorry life." He quickly fetched a towel from a random cabinet and began stripping Tsuna of his clothes, wiping him dry once he had everything but his boxers off.
Instinct. It was what Hibari usually let rule when he fought, preferring to focus on the sensation of beating others bloody without thinking too much on it. Although with Sawada Tsunayoshi, instinct wormed its way into his body's signals and made the blows softer, made him hesitant to attack him as he usually instantly would with others. To him, Sawada Tsunayoshi was an enigma. He was weak, but yet he would stand up, even with a softer blow that would still knock most people out and fight back. He wouldn't fight for himself, but he would fight for his friends when they were threatened.
Right now, Hibari was contemplating removing the boxers; where the smell of blood was strong but instinct was screaming at him not to. Getting frustrated at his own instincts, Hibari decided to pull them off anyways because he was curious as to why the herbivore was bleeding down there. Rape, perhaps?
He pulled them off with one motion, stared, and felt his brain crash with a permanent imprint of the view in front of him. He tossed the boxers on top of his...her lower body parts and turned his head away, cheeks slightly flushed. (3)
He knew about females, yes and even learned about the reproductive parts in class. What he couldn't fathom was that Sawada was apparently part of the female species. Even if Sawada didn't have a chest, why would she run around in nothing but male boxers? He was pretty sure that Sawada was male, well, at least until now.
He stifled a cough in a clenched fist and decided to put the boxers back on lest he...be accused of something unsavory should Sawada wake up. He averted his eyes the whole time he clumsily put the boxers back on. Glancing at the shivering form, the towel joined the boxers in covering up Sawada's chest and lower regions.
He hastily moved away from Sawada to a phone on the opposite side of the room and called his house, wanting to be rid of the one person disrupting his calm. The phone rang barely rang once before a frantic voice answered the phone.
"Yes?!" Hibari paused, a little taken aback. He cleared his throat. "Your daughter is located at the school. Please come pick her up as she is unconscious." The woman dared to reply angrily. "Are you playing a joke on me? My son is missing and-!" Hibari cut her off. "Your surname is Sawada, yes?"
The sound of rain hitting the building filled the following silence. Hibari continued on. "I suggest that you hurry and take her home because she is bleeding and seems to have a high fever." Hibari heard another voice come onto the phone, and recognized it as Cavollone. "Hello?" he said.
"Hurry up and pick up the herbivore!" Hibari said. He was beginning to get irritated with these idiots. "Kyoya? Where are you guys at?" "We're located at the school!" "Is he awake? If not can you carry him to the front for us?" Hibari hung up. These idiots talked way too much for his liking. He stalked over to Tsuna and folded up the wet clothes, wrapping the towel securely around Tsuna and then placing the clothes on top of the towel. With ease he lifted Tsuna, ignoring the sensation of Tsuna cuddling closer to his chest seeking warmth. He stood impatiently at the school's front doors with Tsuna sleeping peacefully in his arms, shivering slightly every once in a while.
He shifted Tsuna and glanced at his watch, the face telling him it was 7:58 pm. A red car pulled in through the school gates and three people came rushing out with umbrellas. A petite brunette woman stumbled to a stop in front of him, tears spilling from her eyes. Why was she so worried? Cavollone, who was with her flashed Hibari a smile and motioned for his subordinate to take Sawada. "Tsu-kun!" immediately she tried to hug Tsuna with Hibari still carrying her but he moved away.
"Thanks, Kyoya. Everyone's been going nuts trying to track him down since he didn't come home." Slightly reluctant for unknown reasons, Hibari transferred Tsuna over to Romario feeling the comfortable heat that was being shared between them fading away. Hibari thrust those thoughts away; there was no need to think of things like that.
Usually he would have left after they turned around but something compelled him to watch them go. They jogged back to the car, careful not to jostle her and at the same time keep the rain off, even getting wet themselves in the process. When she was in the car, Hibari was finally able to turn around and went to the reception room, mulling over his newly acquired information on Sawada Tsunayoshi.
At home, Nana fussed constantly over Tsuna, even kicking out the others so she could put Tsuna in pajamas. "Oh? How strange, Tsuna's boxers are on backwards..." she said. She pulled them off and stared at the dark spot on them and flushed. Quickly she hustled out of the room to hers for her feminine products and put it on Tsuna's new boxers, hurriedly putting on Tsuna's pajamas. While she left again to grab a compress, she also picked up the phone, immediately calling the doctor and excitedly arranging an appointment with the doctor the next day.
"Tsu-kun, I think you might be able to have a happier life now." She tenderly pressed the compress on Tsuna's forehead, keeping watch the whole night with hope contained within her eyes.
1)explanation snatched from The Day Of Revolution manga by Tsuda, Mikiyo, which also influenced this story with the whole hermaphrodite thing XD;
2)the rain thing is starting to become really popular in these fics aren't they? Lol
3)ROFLLMFAO I had too much fun writing that part and I couldn't help putting something light in there. To me the fic was starting to get kinda gloomy XD;