Chapter summary: Lara and Sam are reflecting on the things that have changed since Yamatai.

For extra effect feel free to listen to Things We Lost in the Fire by Bastille. All feedback is greatly appreciated!

There's your camera sitting unattended and neglected on the kitchen table. You used to always conduct most of your conversations with me from behind that lens...but now you don't. You barely even speak to me these days. Beside your camera lies your laptop where you used to eagerly piece together and edit all of your recordings. Like your camera, that too sits there, abandoned as it gathers dust.

Sitting among the now-forgotten technology is you. Like your laptop and camera, you used to be so active and full of energy. You used to fill the room with the warmth of your smile and the lightheartedness of your laugh. Except now you don't laugh, you don't smile, you don't crack jokes or tease me. You don't have the energy to do any of those things anymore. Once upon a time, anytime we watched TV together you used to criticize the filmwork of the shows and completely dissect every aspect of them. Now, we don't even watch TV together. Now you sit there like a vegetable as you stare at the screen blankly, not even taking in what you are watching as you sip that poison in your hand.

While you used to drink to have a good time and unwind, you now use it to run away from all of your problems much like how you always accuse me of supposedly running away. The alcohol that now touches your lips slowly addles your brain and further distorts the vibrant and bubbly person who used to be my roommate...my best friend...my love...into something more dark and twisted. With every sip, you slip further and further away from me until you're locked away in your own little world away from the horrors of reality. I don't even recognize you anymore.

The worst part is that I still love you with every fiber of my being. More than anything, I wish I could hate the person you've become so it wouldn't hurt so much to see you this way but I can't. I can't because part of me knows you're still there and more than anything, I wish I would bring you back, hold you, protect you from the voices in your head… But you won't let me no matter how hard I try. Now all I can do is watch with great sadness as the person I love and care about is consumed by the flames resulting from the aftermath of that damned island.

My friend, my heart, my smile, my laugh, the most important person in the world to me…

These are the things that I lost in the fire.

You used to read your books with an almost manic fervor but now all of your various tomes and novels lie in a pile in the corner of your room, completely untouched by you. You used to be so kind, gentle, and friendly to others. Now when anybody approaches you, you turn on them with your teeth bared like a caged animal just waiting to be unleashed upon the world that did you so much wrong. Anytime I reach out to touch you, you recoil and shy away as though you had forgotten that hands are capable of things other than violence and abuse-almost as though you had forgotten what kindness looked and felt like. The worst part is that I don't even know how to show you otherwise. I'm too terrified to try only for you to hurt me again and blame yourself afterwards, as if you know any better after surviving the horrors you did.

Your long, brown hair used to be so well kempt and clean. Now it sprouts from your head in a disheveled mess. Your skin used to be so smooth, flawless, and radiant...now twisted, mottled scars stretch across every bit of your exposed flesh, each one telling the story of the innumerable horrors you survived on that island: horrors that you had to endure to save me. Your face used to be so relaxed and good natured; now there's no more signs of that. These days it seems as though your features are drawn into a permanent scowl as you regard the entire world with a cold bitterness.

You used to examine the maps and charts pinned up on your wall until you would dream about them in your sleep...but now? Now those very maps and charts are torn and crumpled in the bottom of your waste basket, shredded apart like all of your dreams and aspirations. You always used to have such a fire burning within you, driving you to want and pursue something more. Now that very fire has begun to burn out of control and slowly consume you as I'm left staring at the ashes. I want to help you but I can't. That's the worst part.

You think you're a monster because of everything that happened but you don't realize that the true monster is sitting at the table of the kitchen you just entered. You became the way you are because of me, because of the mistakes I made. Maybe if I wasn't so naive and trusting, maybe just maybe I'd still have my roommate...my best friend...my love...maybe just maybe you'd still be with me.

My friend, my heart, my smile, my laugh, the most important person in the world to me…

These are the things that I lost in the fire.

These are the things we lost in the fire and we're not sure if we'll ever be able to salvage them from the ashes.

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