Hi all. After finding myself completely heartbroken after November 19th's episode, I I swore I was only going to write one Careese story. But the funny thing is John and Joss won't let me go. After some encouragement to keep writing them from some wonderful writers and readers of Careese fic, I found myself starting and stopping several stories. It seems John and Joss won't let me go. So, this will probably be a two-parter. It takes place after the November 19 episode and in this story Joss IS NOT dead. The first chapter is John's POV. Joss's will be next.
And despite the new darker theme of the show, this is pretty Schmoopy. Why? Because people should happy at the holidays and not mourning a pretty awesome fictional character.
An Overdue Conversation-Chapter 1
John Reese was in a foul mood. If Harold Finch asked him a question, he gave him a biting response. John and Fusco argued about the tiniest matters. Shaw had the good sense to stay away from the private room where he convalesced in one of Finch's safehouses. As for Zoe, he'd asked her to stay away. He couldn't look at her or sit and make small talk with her after everything that happened between him and Joss in the morgue. And while it was true that Zoe never asked him for more than their regular hookup, he could see in the way that she had marked her turf with the ladies on the night they went to Blur that she had begun to want more. It was never his intention to lead her on. He'd actually enjoyed spending time with her. That would make most men happy. Zoe was pretty, smart and had a great sense of humor. But, she was no Joss Carter.
Joss had captivated Reese from the moment he'd first met her. She was beautiful with big brown eyes that he often found himself lost in. And her skin was this flawless caramel brown. But there was more to Joss than her looks. She had the biggest heart, maybe bigger than his, Finch's, Shaw's and Fusco's combined. He was under no illusions that she was perfect. Sometimes, Reese marveled at just how human Joss was. She could have a particularly bad temper at times and she was relentless to point of danger at times.
Currently, it was her humanness that had placed John in a foul mood. Although Joss Carter was the toughest woman he knew, his confession in the morgue that she'd changed his life had scared her. It hadn't scared her at the time he told her; there was too much real danger then. No, it wasn't until after Simmons had shot them both, when Joss's vest mercifully saved her and when John was critically wounded, that the fear set in. The fear only intensified when John refused to let the change between them go.
John closed his eyes as he thought back to the moment he first awoke in the safehouse hospital bed.
"Joss." Her name was the first word off of his lips after he opened his eyes.
"John. Thank God." She touched his face. Her hands were as soft as silk.
"You're ok." He breathed deeply. "I don't know what I would have done if I lost you." He placed his hand on top of hers as he gazed into her eyes. They stayed that way for a moment before she pulled her hand back to her side. "Joss…"
"Save your strength. You've been out for a couple of days."
"Yes, Mr. Reese, you gave us all quite a scare." Finch limped through the door carrying a tray of food.
"Finch, I don't want any—"
"John, you have to eat something." Joss cut him off. She picked up the bed's remote and moved John to a more upright position.
Knowing that Joss had spoken, Finch carried the tray and placed it on the bed. "Mr. Reese, there's nothing very substantial here. I wasn't certain that you'd have a much of an appetite when you awoke. Please let me know if there's something else you'd like."
John never moved his eyes from Joss's face. He smiled as she took a seat in the chair by his bedside. "Actually Harold, I'd like a few minutes alone with Joss."
"Very well, Mr. Reese."
John smiled because before Finch could leave the room, Joss was pushing a spoonful of red Jell-o into his mouth. He swallowed in order to speak, but before he could, Joss pushed another spoonful into his mouth.
"Joss, I can probably do that for myself."
"You think so? After lying in bed without moving for two days? You want to give it a shot?"
John knew the second he moved his arms that he wouldn't be able to move them with ease. But he couldn't give her the satisfaction of being right. So, he used all his strength to push his arms up and behind his head. "Fine, but if you're going to play nurse, Joss, are you going to give me a sponge bath after lunch?" He punctuated his sentence with a wink.
"Funny." She shoved another spoonful of Jell-o in.
He gingerly moved his hand down and placed it over hers to stop the endless shoveling of Jell-o. "I'm really not hungry. You want to talk instead?"
She pulled her hand away and placed it in her lap. "What's to talk about John? My war against HR almost got us killed. I should have never gotten you involved."
"I wanted to be involved. If something involves you, Joss, I want to be involved." He took advantage of his long limbs and touched her face. "I didn't say those things at the morgue because I thought we were going to die. I said them because I meant them."
"Ok, as long as you're happy that I got you shot…again," she said in rather bland fashion before standing quickly. "I should go. I'm going to be late for work."
"Work? Joss, you can't go back there. Not after everything that has happened."
"John." Joss sighed. "I'm a cop. I have a job to do."
"You're also a mother. What about Taylor?"
"He's still with his dad. But you don't have to worry; Fusco brought Simmons in yesterday. He and Quinn are in FBI custody."
It was John's turn to cut Joss off. She was smarter than this. Why was she taking unnecessary risks? "Are all of their soldiers locked up? Can you be sure that you got them all, Joss? It's not safe for you to be there on your own."
"I'm not on my own. I have Fusco and the rest of the force." She stood to leave.
"You're being unreasonable!" John tried to swing his legs over the bed to follow her, but he was too weak. And within a minute, Finch was back in the room and rushing to the bed.
That was a week ago. And things only got worse. On her two subsequent visits, she avoided the subject of what had changed between them like the plague. And when she wasn't avoiding the subject of what was going on between the two of them, they were arguing about her safety. After that she started to visit when she believed he was asleep. He allowed her the illusion because when she was there, she was safe. When she believed he was asleep she kissed his forehead or touched his cheek and he couldn't deny himself those moments.
Now, anytime she was gone, Fusco and Finch tried to pacify him about her safety. They explained that the whole team was keeping and eye out for her. But there were things neither Finch nor Fusco could know, like whether Joss felt uncomfortable about his declaration of feeling. They also couldn't know whether Joss felt the same way about him. Nor could they know why she touched him the way she did when she thought he was sleeping if she only thought of him as a friend. Honestly, he was crawling up the walls without her
"Harold," he called out.
Finch appeared a few minutes later. "What's wrong Mr. Reese?"
"Call Carter. Tell her I need to see her immediately."
"But Mr. Reese, I'm not sure she'll come if she knows you're asking for her."
"Say whatever you have to get her here, Harold. If not, I'll go find her myself."
"Very well, John." Finch shook his head in disgust as he left the room.
For the first time in three days, John smiled. He and his beautiful detective were long overdue for an important conversation. And they were going to have it today.