A/N: This is the sequel to my previous fic, To Run or to Hide. It continues the story of Ronon and Sara and is set about a year after the epilogue of TROTH. Despite being set on Sara's home world of Tarus, Atlantis and the people there will feature in the story line a little later on. M rated for explicit sexual content. I hope you enjoy. Please read and review!

Sara POV

Natara let out a squeal of delight as I pushed her high on the wooden swing. At two months past her second birthday she was a bundle of energy that never seemed content to sit still. I watched her kick her feet and wriggle in excitement and realized that my attempts to tire her out before her afternoon nap were probably in vain.

"Higher, mommy," she cried as the momentum of the swing carried her back to me.

I gave her another gentle push and smiled as her long, dark curls caught the wind and fanned out behind her. She was wearing her new dress, made of white cotton with a pretty green floral print that matched the color of her eyes – the same eyes that she shared with her father. Upon her feet the outfit was completed by her much loved white leather sandals. I pushed her back and forth for a moment longer and then paused as Troy – right hand man to my brother, Erik, as well as our younger cousin – entered the park and cut across the grass on his way towards the gymnasium. He saw Natara and I and waved to us both as he changed direction and came over.

"Hey there you two," he said as he got closer. At 6ft 2" with fair skin, long blond hair and a toned physique, he was the image of Erik, so much so that the two of them were often mistaken for brothers. He appeared to be out of breath, and I watched as he suddenly turned away and raised his hand to his mouth as a series of coughs racked his body.

I frowned. "Are you okay?"

He nodded. "Sorry," he apologized as he cleared his throat. "My asthma seems to have taken a turn for the worse lately."

I looked at him in concern. Troy had suffered with asthma ever since we were young but I had never known it to affect him this badly. "Have you had it checked out?" I asked him.

He nodded, and ran his hand through his long blond hair in a gesture that was reminiscent of Erik. "Yeah…doesn't seem to be a lot they can do about it though," he glanced towards the gymnasium. "Actually, I was just on my way to find Ronon," he paused to catch his breath, "I have a message from Atlantis to pass on to him. Is there any chance I could leave it with you to give to him?"

"Sure," I replied. "What do you want me to tell him?"

"Colonel Sheppard told me to advise him that there's been a delivery from Earth."

I raised my eyebrows. "That's it? He didn't say what the delivery was?" I gave Natara another gentle nudge on the swing.

"No. That's all I got," he gave me a shrug. "I'm not even sure how urgent the message is. I thought it best to pass on directly though, just incase." He took a deep breath and I heard the wheeze in his lungs. "If it's okay with you, I'll keep going… I need to oversee the packing of supplies for the drop tomorrow."

"No problem," I told him. "I'll head on over and find Ronon now. "You go back…" I paused to look at him, "…and take it easy. Okay?"

"Sure thing, cuz." He flashed me a boyish grin, and I was reminded that although he might be the image of Erik, he was still a number of years behind him in age.

I watched him leave and then pulled the swing to a gentle stop. "That's all we have time for today, sweetie," I told Natara. Before she could protest I mentioned the one thing that I knew would guarantee her compliance. "We have to go and find daddy now, okay?"

"Daddy!" She clapped her hands together in delight as I lifted the bar that held her in place on the swing and set her feet down on the ground. "Daddy come play?" she turned and looked at me hopefully.

I took the chance to retie the wide green ribbon that had come loose from around her waist. "Daddy has to work," I reminded her.

She stuck her lower lip out in disappointment and I laughed as I realized I was witnessing my own stubbornness in 26 month old form. "I'm sure he'll still be happy to see you though." I took her hand and led her across the grass before she could protest further. "If you're good, then daddy might bring you back to the park another day."

She seemed to brighten at this, and by the time we reached the entrance to the gymnasium she skipped happily on her toes next to me. I pushed open the door and an up-tempo rock song filled my ears as I guided us both inside. Natara looked around in wide eyed interest at the dozen or so men and women who worked out on various pieces of cardio equipment in front of us. She loved coming to the gymnasium, although I could never quite work out if it was the gym itself that was the attraction or the fact that she knew her father was there. I led her along the wall until the music faded a little as we passed through into the room next door. The tone here was more subdued and the handful of occupants paid us scant attention as they concentrated on their weight repetitions while we passed by. Natara and I made it almost right the way through the room before I felt the weight of my ex-partner's eyes following our progress. Marcus Lancaster, a Major in the Tarusian military, had once been the love of my life. Now he was an awkward acquaintance who I feared that, despite being the one to end our four year relationship, might still care for me more than he should. I turned my head and gave him a brief smile, to which he responded with a slow dip of his head. These days he wore his black spiky hair a little longer on top, but his square jaw was clean shaven as usual and his blue eyes could still draw attention from across the room. He had recently taken up body building and rapidly taken his physique from thick-set and toned, to outright muscular – something that had not escaped the notice of the many women who vied for his attention. Despite the numerous women that he had been linked to, the simple fact remained that each time Marcus broke up with his latest girlfriend – which he seemed to do on an alarmingly regular basis – I got the uneasy feeling that I was somehow the reason behind it. Right now I felt even more awkward, as his last relationship had ended over six months ago and as far as I knew he had not seen anyone else since. I breathed a sigh of relief as Natara and I exited the room and I was able to cast Marcus from both sight and mind once again.

The third section of the gymnasium was what we referred to as the sparring room, and at mid afternoon it was only partially in use. A padded ring off to my left was occupied by a group of five women who where taking turns to practice their kickboxing skills against one another. A second group of fifteen or so men and women formed a circle in the far corner around a section of padded floor mats. Their uniforms identified them as the military troops that Atlantis had supplied from Earth and I guessed there was a good chance I would find Ronon somewhere in their midst. I caught Natara's hand as we approached and then located a gap between the bystanders so we could see through them to where Ronon stood in the clear space in the middle. As usual, my heart did a small skip at the sight of him and I kept a firm hold on Natara so that we could watch him unobserved for a moment. He was dressed in khaki colored sweat pants and a loose fitting tank that bared the length of his arms from shoulder right down to the brown leather guards secured to each wrist. In the time I had known him, his hair had grown so that his now long dreadlocks were tied back from his face and hung down his back between his shoulder blades. He looked confident and fearsome as he faced an athletic looking opponent who I guessed to be in his late thirties. I edged a little closer so that I could listen as he gave instruction to the group on how to engage in combat with an armed opponent.

"Be decisive," he growled as he circled the shaggy haired man who he had singled out for demonstration. "Choose your move, and then carry it through." To emphasize his point, he suddenly lunged at the man who, to my surprise, somehow evaded the blow directed towards his ribcage. He wasn't so lucky on the second occasion though, and quickly found himself down on one knee as Ronon snatched the knife from his hand and repositioned it at his throat. "Better," he growled as he released him, "But only take your eyes off your opponent when he's severely maimed or dead." He waited for the man to get to his feet before he thrust the knife back towards him. "Again," he instructed. They exchanged a brief rally of blows before Ronon put the man on his back with a heavy thud. "Keep your eyes on me," he repeated as he knelt next to him and pressed the tip of the knife to the man's throat once again. "You lose focus and I'll put you on your arse every time."

He stood up and chose another trainee from the group, this time a man who was of similar size and age. A brief moment later, the man's body connected to the floor mat with a bone shattering thump and Ronon once again retained control of the knife. "Time your attack," he growled as the man struggled to get to his feet. "You lunge too early." The man stood up and Ronon passed the knife back to him. To my surprise, the man immediately swung the knife back at him and managed to connect the blade with Ronon's chest. Ronon spun and kicked the man's legs out from beneath him so that the two of them ended up back on the floor, the man once again pined beneath Ronon's body. "Good," I heard him growl. "If you see an opportunity, then go for the surprise attack." He held his hand to the man's throat and wrenched the knife free from his hand with the other. "Make sure you carry it through though. A scratch won't kill a man, it will just make him more determined to stick his knife in your throat." He stood up and grasped the man's hand to help him to his feet. "Good work," he slapped him on the back and then suddenly caught sight of Natara and I. He passed the knife to the man closest and instructed him to take over as he picked up a towel from the sidelines and made his way towards us. Beside me, Natara bounced on the soles of her feet and I let go of her hand so she could propel herself towards him.

"Daddy," she called as she covered the short distance between them.

Ronon dropped his towel and scooped her up in mid flight as, in the space of a couple of seconds, I watched him convert from combat instructor to father. "Hey," he grinned as Natara straddled his waist and reached up to hold onto his neck with her arms. "How's my girl?" He glanced at me and our eyes met for a moment until Natara drew his attention again.

"Daddy want play?" She asked, and then giggled with delight as Ronon grasped her under the arms and hoisted her high into the air. I glanced around to make sure her cries were not disturbing the other occupants in the room and was startled to discover that a number of people had stopped what they were doing in order to observe the two of them together. Particular interest was coming from the women in the kick boxing ring, where activity had all but ceased entirely. Unaware of the attention he was generating, Ronon eased his grip on Natara and she plummeted a short way towards the floor before he closed his hands and stopped her fall. She cried out in delight and clapped her hands together as she begged him to do it again. He indulged her once more before settling her upon his hip and turning his attention to me.

"Hey," he lowered his voice and his green eyes searched my face in a way that instantly made me forget the other women in the room. "This is a surprise. Is everything okay?"

I realized with a pang how little we had seen of each other during the day lately that he would be surprised to see me. He seemed to be at Atlantis a lot more than usual, and my reluctance to leave Natara meant we often did not see each other until the evenings. "Uhh…" I stammered as I tried to hide my thoughts from him, "…everything's fine. I was in the park with Natara, and Troy came by with a message to pass on to you."

He raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

"John paged through from Atlantis," I told him. "Something about a delivery?"

Ronon nodded and then to my surprise he averted his eyes for a moment. "Anything else?"

"Only that whatever it is has been sent through from Earth." I frowned as I studied his face more closely. Something was not quite right here but I was at a loss as to put my finger on exactly what. "Do you know what he's talking about?"

He shrugged. "No idea. Probably a new case of ammo or something." He lifted his hand to brush Natara's hair back from her face. "I'll check it out this evening though, just incase."

I nodded slowly. "You'll be at Tarus for dinner?"

"Uh huh," he nodded. "And in time to put this one…" he squeezed Natara so that she giggled, "…to bed."

Despite my reservations, I followed his lead and let the matter of Atlantis and the delivery drop. "We should let you get back to it," I said as I reached out to take Natara from him. "It's time for somebody here to take their afternoon nap."

Never one to miss a trick, Natara kicked her feet as I lifted her from Ronon's hip to my own. "No," she protested loudly.

"Hey," Ronon reached out and stilled the foot that was closest to him. In a tone that encouraged no argument he continued. "That's enough. Be a good girl and take a rest for your mother."

Natara lowered her eyes in reluctant concession. Ronon was a firm believer in discipline – something that Natara had learned at an early age. She might throw in the odd attempt to defy me if she was having a bad day, but it was a rare occasion that saw her disobey her father. I watched her put the two middle fingers of her left hand into her mouth and suck them as she liked to do. It was an early indication that despite her protests she was beginning to tire. I patted her on the back and she rested her head upon my shoulder. To my surprise, Ronon reached out and grasped my arm gently. "It's good you came," he told me. "I miss you during the day."

"Same," I admitted. The truth was, for some time now I had felt torn between my love for Natara and my outright need to be with her father. When I was home during the day I yearned for Ronon and the excitement and closeness that fighting alongside of him brought, yet on the rare occasion I left Natara to go off-world with him, I missed her constantly. It was a vicious cycle, and one that I could see no real way out of. Learning that Ronon planned to spend this evening on Atlantis with John did little to cheer me up. "We'll see you at dinner then?" I asked, and hated the needy tone I heard in my voice.

He must have picked up on it because he stroked my upper arm with the pad of his thumb. "You will," he confirmed. "And when I get home later…we'll talk."

I raised my eyebrows. "That sounds serious."

"Maybe," he smiled, and then to my surprise he dipped his head and kissed me soundly on the lips.

My heart fluttered inside my chest and, mindless of where we were or who might be watching, I opened my mouth to him. He slipped his tongue inside and suddenly I did not feel so bad about things any more, in fact, I felt down right turned on. With an effort, I pulled away and when I looked up at him I was pleased to see my own desire mirrored back to me in his hooded green eyes. I had a feeling that talking would not be the only thing we did this evening. "I'll see you later," I whispered and was surprised at the husky tone to my voice.

"Count on it," he drawled as he shifted his eyes from me to Natara. "See you later, princess," he dotted her nose with his finger. I turned and walked across the room and when I reached the door that would take us through into the next room I paused and looked back as I hoped to catch one last glance of him. To my surprise, he stood right where I had left him, his eyes still following my progress. I smiled at him, and my heart filled with anticipation as I reluctantly left the room.

It was only later, when Natara finally went down for her nap and I lay stretched out on our bed to do the same that I began to feel uneasy again. What was this delivery from Earth that John had wanted Ronon to know about? And why did I get the feeling that Ronon knew more about it than he was letting on? I decided that if we did get around to having our talk tonight, then I might use the opportunity to ask a few questions of my own.

Ronon POV

It did not take long for me to meet with Sheppard and inspect the delivery that he had called me about. Had he not insisted that I stay and share a beer with him afterwards, then I would have been back at Tarus within the hour. As things worked out, one beer quickly became two and then three, until I eventually lost count along with the track of time. When I finally took the portal back to Tarus it was much later than I intended and I felt a little the worse for wear. To my surprise, Sara was still awake when I entered our room. She was lying in bed on her stomach with a book open on her pillow and a single candle lit on the bedside stand beside her. Her shoulders were bare but for the thin blue straps of her silk nightgown and a few errant strands of auburn hair. She closed the book and turned around as I approached the bed, drawing her knees up to her chest under the covers as she sat up to greet me. She looked amazing, and I found I was truly sorry I had kept her waiting. "Sorry I'm late," I told her.

She cast her eyes over me. "You've been drinking," she said, and her lips curled into an amused smile. "…Quite a bit, by the looks of it."

"Sheppard's fault," I told her. "He was offering, and I couldn't let a friend drink alone." I shrugged out of my coat and placed it carefully on the floor beside the bed, all the while hoping that she would not ask the reason for our impromptu drinking session. "You're not angry?" I asked.

She shook her head. "I could be, I guess, but most of the evening is already gone and I'd rather not spend what's left of it exchanging angry words with you."

I breathed a sigh of relief as I freed myself from my top and shook my head to settle my dreadlocks in place down my back. "I'm a lucky man," I told her, and meant it.

"Mmmm," her eyes roamed slowly over my bare torso and she made a gesture with her head towards the vacant side of the bed. "How about you hurry up and get over here so I can remind you just how lucky."

I wasn't so far gone that I could not appreciate what she was suggesting. Bracing my knuckles against the mattress on either side of her legs I climbed onto the bed and leaned forward to press my mouth to hers. She was warm and sweet tasting and after a moment she unclasped her hands from around her knees and let me gradually recline her backwards until she was stretched out on the mattress beneath me. The sheets covered her from the hips downwards, but as I pressed myself against her I knew that she would feel the effect she had on me despite both the covers and the trousers that I still wore. I took my weight on my elbows proceeded to kiss her thoroughly. We had last made love only that morning, but my desire for her never seemed to diminish. I flicked her earlobe with my tongue. "I love you," I told her, and entwined my fingers in her hair.

She sighed and the tension left her frame as she lay back into the mattress. "Show me," she breathed.

I inched the sheets down so that they pooled below her knees, and as I discovered her nightgown finished at mid thigh, the ache in my hearted was joined by a twin ache in my groin. The cool fabric settled over her body and the rigid peaks of her nipples were clearly visible as they strained upwards from beneath. I dipped my head and closed my mouth around the one closest, sucking on it through the fabric and leaving a damp mark behind when I released it. My arousal was fast pushing the effects of the alcohol from my system and I ran my hand slowly up the side of her thigh and caught her nightgown to raise it up over her hips. To my pleasure I found her to be devoid of undergarments. The scent of lavender lingered upon her skin and I pressed my mouth to the flat of her stomach to slowly circle her navel with my tongue. She shivered as my whiskers brushed against her skin, and I sucked upon the smooth area above her pubic bone just hard enough to leave a mark. By the time I inched my way lower her thighs were already parted in anticipation. I moistened my lips and dipped my head to run my tongue up the length of her sex. Hot arousal met my tongue and the taste of her was almost my undoing. I closed my eyes and paused as I willed my body back under control. The moment passed and I sampled her again, this time closing my lips to suck upon her gently. I eased a finger into her core and felt her heated walls clenched around me. It was impossible not to imagine how they might feel around a different piece of my anatomy as I worked her gently between mouth and hand. A short moment later she came with as soft cry and I eased my strokes to bring her down from her release. When she lay limp and sated upon the bed, I withdrew and stood up to remove my trousers. She opened her eyes as I rejoined her under the covers.

"That was fantastic," she breathed as she pushed me onto my back and looked down at me suggestively. I watched her remove her nightgown and drop it somewhere over the side of the bed. My need for her was so strong that it seemed to have affected my ability to speak. Thankfully, she did not seem to expect a reply as she pressed her lips to my chest and flicked her tongue across my nipple. I had a good idea of where things were about to head, and as tempted as I was to let her have her way, the alcohol in my system warned that I would probably not be able to hold out for much longer. Instead, I reached down and caught her thigh just behind the knee. "Ride me," I demanded as I pulled her astride my hips.

She hovered above me for a moment and caught my eye, her long hair brushing gently against the pale curves of her breasts. I was entranced, and then undone as she grasped the base of my aching shaft and lowered herself down onto me. The slickness of her body allowed her to take me in without pause, and I grit my teeth as she rolled her hips against me and began a slow, deep rhythm. Her breasts swung freely as she moved and I reached up and squeezed their peaks between thumb and forefinger. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back as the tension inside her began to build again. Her movements gradually became faster and then suddenly less fluid as she neared climax. I threw my arm around her waist and flipped her over so that she lay pinned beneath me. With long, hard strokes I thrust into her again and again until we both tumbled over the edge and climaxed at the exact same moment. My release was such a burst of energy that immediately afterwards I buried my face in her hair and collapsed beside her. For a moment the only sound in the room was the panting of our breath as we both recovered. Eventually I rolled onto my back and she curled up next to me with her head on my chest.

"I think I'm going to let you drink with John more often," she said as she traced my collar bone with her fingertips.

I shook my head and tried to tell her that, had I been sober I would have extracted a third orgasm from her, but the words came out as a mumble and only made her laugh. We lay together in comfortable silence for a moment and, as my strength returned, so did the memory of the unhappiness I had seen on her face earlier that day. "Something's been going on with you lately," I ventured, "You feel like tellin' me about it?"

She sighed and snuggled closer to me. As I hoped, the intimacy we had just shared weakened her barriers a little. "I worry about Natara…" she admitted to me, "…about what would become of her if anything ever happened to you and I."

I glanced down, and saw that her eyes were open and she appeared to be staring at the tooth that hung on a leather strap around my neck. "I don't plan on letting that happen," I told her.

She went on as if I had not spoken. "The lives we lead…" she stoked the tooth gently with her finger tips. "We put ourselves in danger every time we go off-world."

I raised my eyebrows. "We do the same just by getting out of bed in the morning," I pointed out.

She shook her head. "Not the both of us, we don't."

I suddenly caught on to what she was trying to say. "Is that the reason you've been staying behind so much lately? 'Coz you're worried if we go off-world together something might happen to the both of us?"

She nodded. "Pretty much. It feels like I have to choose between being with you, and doing what's best for Natara. I hate that I'm not really a part of things here any more…and I miss going off-world to fight with you and the others."

I stroked her shoulder and exhaled as I stared up at the roof above. "I can understand you feeling like that," I told her.

"I love Natara so much that it tears me apart to leave her," she went on. "Even though I know she will be perfectly safe here with Isobel to look after her." She rolled over and rested her chin was on my chest so she could look up at me. "But I miss you so much when I'm not with you."

I looked down at her, and found myself telling her something that until now I had kept from her. "After Natara was born and I returned to duty, it wasn't easy to leave you both," I admitted. "I had to force myself to do it," I told her.

"Really?" she looked at me in surprise. "I had no idea."

"I kept it from you because I knew you had a hard time adjusting to staying at home. I didn't want to make things more difficult by admitting that I hated going off-world without you."

She frowned. "And how do you feel about it now?"

"Exactly the same. Not a mission goes by that I don't wish you were there with me – dangerous situations or not."

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

"Back at the start, I didn't want to put that kind of pressure on you," I told her. "And later, when you recovered… I thought it was your choice to stay behind with Natara."

She gave me a sad smile. "I wish we hadn't left this so long to talk about," she said and then a shadow passed over her face. "Do you think it makes me a terrible mother? That I would leave my daughter and knowingly go off to put my life in danger?"

I smiled and brushed a lock of hair back from her face. "You could never be a terrible mother," I assured her. "And I'm sure you're not the first woman to find herself in your position. You just need to find your balance… what works for you." I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "And what works for me."

She smiled, and then gently pressed her mouth to mine. "I love you," she whispered as she drew back to look at me. "From now on, no more secrets."

I rolled her onto her back and kissed her soundly. "No more secrets," I echoed as I released her mouth and took a deep breath to inhale the scent of her hair. Her pale skin glowed warm in the candle light and her body was soft and pliant against my own. I realized I wanted her again.

"Ronon?" Her voice drew me from my thoughts. "There's something I need to ask you." She bent her knee and rested the sole of her foot against the bed so that I pulled back a little to look at her. "If you choose not to answer, then I promise to accept your decision, but… I'd really like to know what you did on Atlantis tonight. What was the delivery that Colonel Sheppard contacted you about?"

Oh, hell. I should have known she wouldn't let something like that slide. The irony in what she was asking was so great that I almost wished I could share it with her. Instead I shook my head and gave her a rueful smile. "I really can't tell you that right now," I told her. "But whatever it is you might be thinking, I can promise you, you have it wrong."

She looked at me with a combination of hurt and curiosity. "Why can't you tell me?" She pressed, unprepared to let the matter go so easily. "What's so important that you need to keep it secret?"

I smiled and shook my head. Before she could protest further, I reached out and placed my finger over her lips. "You promised to respect my decision," I reminded her. "When the time is right, I'll tell you. Not before."

She lowered her eyes. "Alright," she conceded grudgingly. "But in my experience it's dangerous to keep secrets. What if it's something that puts the security of the city at risk?" Her face grew serious at the thought. "Does Erik know about it?"

"Uh huh," I nodded, "And trust me, it's not something that's likely to endanger the city." I nuzzled her neck with my lips. "That's all the questions you get to ask for tonight," I whispered as I slid my hand down the length of her body and located the moist spot between her legs. In a slow, circular motion, I applied just the right amount of pressure so that she gradually began to relax and forget whatever it was she had been about to say next. By the time I entered her again she no longer cared to speak and when we finished our lovemaking in the small hours of the morning, neither did I.