It was quite in the hallway. All I could hear was the patter of my bare feet against the stone floor of the tower. I am a mage of the circle, but after tonight I will use the word was. I'll be an apostate once more.

It was night and everyone was in bed, due to the curfew. Of course there were always the exceptions. I could hear a tryst between one of the other mages and a templar down the hall from my location.

I smiled innocently at the sound. A perfect distraction on a night like this. I stepped into the library. The room was dark. It also happened to be my favorite room in the tower. It was the only room not to have bars on the windows.

My fingers lifted the latch and I slowly opened the window in the dark. Instantly I felt a gust of cold night air rush in a blow back my hair from my face. Nights in the Anderfels were always cold, but the days could quickly turn into scorchers. Practically a desert, the land never fully recovered after the first blight that lasted over one thousand years.

Peering down at the ground I took a deep breath. Almost as I was thinking it I heard a familiar voice say it.

"It's a long way down."

I turned my head sharply at the intruder. I breathed a sigh of relive at seeing my older sister. Emma wasn't one who I would have to worry about turning me in.

It wasn't hard to see how she could have hidden in the darkness. Her raven black hair and kole black eyes hid her well. She seems to look the most like father in that way.

She sighed her annoyed sigh saved only from me when I was in the middle of a stupid idea. "You should be in bed by the way. You don't want the templars to catch you out this late."

"Well and what's your excuse?" I whispered back.

"Came to see my sister off. I wouldn't want to miss her... How many times have you escaped again?"

"Well my record says nine, but that only reflects how many times I've been caught. In reality it's more like sixteen."

"Oh, that's right. And this one is different how?"

"This time I'm not coming back."

"Didn't you say that last time?"

"Well this time I mean it." And I did.

Emma sighed complacently again. I had to wonder if it was my persistence that annoyed her. "You know father can't keep covering for you like this. He may be the Night Commander, but even he has orders from higher up. You can't keep sneaking out again and again like there won't be any consciences. It's like you don't every think about what you're doing before you do it."

"That's why this time is the last time." I said with a bold since of undeserved confidence.

"Well, do say hello to mother for me, at the very least."

She uttered her last good bye with hint sadness. I know she didn't want me to go. I know she would miss me. She told me once I was her best friend, but the circle was no place for me. I didn't fit in. She on the other hand was our father's shining inspiration. The perfect mage. I had even heard him brag about her to the Senior Enchanter. She had a bright future ahead of her, but I… I had always been trouble.

I took in a deep breath and fell out of the window. It was extremely high. I could hear the wind whistle past my ears as gravity pulled me toward the earth. Then with practiced precision I evoked a spell of telekinesis. My stomach flip-flopped as I reversed gravity for myself and reversed my fall. Then I fell again so that my sudden stop at the bottom felt like only a drop of a couple feet.

Force magic. I loved doing that. And for my next trick, a spell of transformation. I murmured a spell I knew by heart and turned my self into a cat.

I loved being a cat. To learn a spell of transformation you had to know the soul of the living thing. Only then could you mimic its form. The circle frowned on such magic, old magic probably. Although many mages would try to transform into a beast that could fight such as a giant spider or a bear; however, my life didn't call for such violent transformations. Being a cat was just what I needed. It allowed me to disappear and hide when I needed to. I would find a nice out of the way hiding place whenever I didn't want to be found.

Heck, I'd even escaped the circle that way a time or two. I'd just walk up to a templar in my beautiful furry form and he'd say, "Who let this cat in here!" "Well, we can't have that, off with ya!"

And there you have it. Outside before anyone noticed I was missing.

I also loved the cat like perks I got. Increased hearing. Increased sense of smell. And the best night vision anyone could ask for. It allowed me to effortlessly navigate the forest I was currently traveling through.

I could see it now. The lights from campfires. There was a Dalish camp up ahead.

As I approached I slinked my way into a familiar tent. A Dalish woman was working with something. I jumped on to the table to get a better vantage point.

"Why hello, Da' len! You know one of your visits is always a pleasure."

She stroked my head while she spoke and contorted the orange M that burnished my forehead.

She was so lovely even with the age lines by her eyes. They seemed to tale the story of her life. Her face was framed with flaming red hair that accentuated her tattooed face and exotic green eyes that were almost unnatural.

I jumped from the table to the chair and relinquished my furry form.

"So you've come to pay your ol' mother a visit before your off on another one of your adventures have you. Does your sister know your here yet?"

"Emma saw me off if that's what you mean. I haven't yet seen Hannah."

Almost as if saying her name summoned her she burst into the tent.

"I thought I saw you. You must really like being a high red! I saw it and knew it was you. Your eyes always give you away. Also you would blend into the dark better if you lost the white chest and belly. Of course how could anyone to mistake that ginger color fur down your back."

"What can I say it matches my hair?"

She then rushed toward me giggling and embraced me in a crushing hug. I hugged back just as hard and said, "I've missed you lethallan."

"I've missed you too, shem."

Then we both laughed. I brought the conversation back to a somber note. "I'm leaving for good this time."

"Really? Have you decided to join the Elvhenan?"

"No, Hannah, I'm leaving the Anderfeld. I'm gone this time for good."

"You always say that."

Her eyes pleaded for me to stay as she offered encouragement. "You can stay here. No one would mind. Did you notice anything new about me?"

She shook her raven locks and flashed me her bright green eyes. She had eyes like mother. I wondered if she thought the same as she looked back into my bright green eyes.

What was new however, were the gentle lines that graced her face like swooping willow branches. "I see that you're sporting some new ink."

In a moment the sparkle from her eye was gone and she began correcting me, "These aren't just any tattoo's this is Vallasiln, blood writing. I'm one of the people and grandmother has decided to take me on as her First."

"I'm happy for you. I'm glad you found a place where you belong. I know you probably don't care, but Emma is doing just as well."

"You're right. I don't care."

I was a sore spot with them both. I could never figure out. It always seemed like Emma hated Hannah (probably because of the freedom she had with mother) and Hannah couldn't care less about what Emma. I was the only common link left between them.

My sister turned back to her original intent on entering the tent or at least that's the way it appeared. Mentioning Emma may have stirred up the old resentment, but in any case she was now done with me. Mother came and placed a hand on my shoulder and then whispered to me, "I care."

"Well she is Emma. She loves books. I think she's read every one the circle has to offer at least once if not twice. She has always been able to help me with a complicated spell. No matter how many times I ask the same question over and over. She just smiles and answers me again without getting upset. She's a great teacher. They finally put her with an apprentice. She's doing great and has a great future ahead of her."

"I'm glad." Mother's eyes drifted away in a dream like state. "I guess sometimes all a mother can do is be glad that her children are happy."

Some time passed between us in silence before she spoke again. "And what of you Da'len? You do know you are welcome here."

"Sure... I should just ignore all of the evil eye I get from just being present and the fact that even my own even calls me Shem."

"I understand. Tell me child, are you truly gone from the circle this time? Intent on carving out your own path?"

I nodded and reached into my bag. I had a secret with me tonight. I pulled out a small bottle the size of my hand. It was square and angular and increased in size at the top almost like a jewel and just as precious. "This is my phylactery."

"What do you intend to do with it Da' len?"

"I thought about breaking it. But I can't do it. I knew it was mine the moment I laid eyes on it. It sings to me. It has my blood in it. It's a part of me."

My mother took the small glass bottle from me and looked it over.

"I was thinking about giving it to you. The templars won't be able to find me without it. But I wouldn't be upset if you ever wanted to look."

Her eyes started to water for a moment. I saw her push back her tears. When next she turned to me it was more somber and more serious. I had never had seen my mother this way to me before.

Usually my visits would last days or weeks sometimes I went back to the circle on my own to tell my older sister how the family was. Some times I'd hit a local tavern and drink until the templars came for me. Times seemed more innocent, but those are the consequences of ageing.

Maybe that was what was different this time. It was me. Maybe I was serious about this escape attempt. I was not going back to the circle, not anymore.

Mother walked acoss the room and began unfolding a pack of supplies. When she came back she handed me two daggers. Beautiful in design, obviously elfish.

"You'll need to leave tonight then. Let the darkness cover you. You'll be able to sell these for a high price. Use the money and go... I guess anywhere. Just promise me you won't forget your heritage. You features may mark you a human, but in your veins flows the blood of the dales."

I smiled as I ran my fingers over the incarvings that were so elegantly crafted. I then slide them into my small bag. My mother kissed me on the forehead whispering, "I love you Katherine. Dareth shiral. May the dread wolf never find you."

I tried to reassure her. I could tell she was on the verge of tears by the way her voice cracked when she spoke last. "Neither the dread wolf or templars will find me this time."

She smiled sweetly and left the tent. I know why she left first. She never wanted to see me go. It was her way. And now at our last good-bye she would never have to see me leave again.

I decided to head out of the back. It wasn't until I was on the out skirts of the encampment that the adrenaline hit me. When it did I couldn't contain my excitement anymore and took off running with my extra energy. This was it. I was free.

As I ran my thoughts touched on the life I lead before now. I never seemed to fit in anywhere. While my older sister was content with her life in the circle my younger sister and I were not. My younger sister learned at a young age that she had a gift. It was grandmother that noticed her exceptional talent for Halla whispering and allowed her to stay with the clan.

I, on the other hand I wanted my freedom, but didn't want to stay with the elves. I must be too much of both my parents. My Dalish nature makes me uneasy in the circle and my human side unwilling to stay with the Dalish. Sometimes I wondered at the relationship between my parents. I guess it started out same as any, a human meets and exotic young elf and is smitten. Then all his daughters all turn out to be mages and he is fearful. Unable to cope with magic, he starts running straight to the chantry. Snatches up his daughters and puts them in the circle.

Mother never forgave him for that and they never spoke again. Well almost never. There was that one time. When we were younger we all snuck out of the circle to visit our mother. We were children. Emma was 10 when she was taken to the circle, I was 7 and Hannah was 5. It was the time when Emma and I were brought back, but Hannah was permitted to stay. I had never seen such hatred in our parents when it came to one another. Maybe it was his last act of love for her, maybe it was pity, or regret, but for some reason he let our mother keep one of us. From then on when the templars came looking for me among the elves, he made it a point not to be there.

Even our names must be a throwback to happier times for our mother. All three of us had traditional human noble sounding names. She must have thought at one times we would have been permitted to live normal lives even if we were all half blooded.