I Have Been Changed For Good
Blaine watched as the coffin was lowered into the ground, mahogany with intricate gold detailing, just the way Kurt would've wanted it. As the minister said his final words, Blaine heard the tell-tale signs of the beginning of a Warbler song.
As Wes and David led a perfect rendition of Blackbird, Blaine let himself lean into Finn, as the taller boy wrapped an arm around him. Kurt's illness had brought the two boys closer, and during his final days the two singers worked to make Kurt as comfortable as he could possibly be, providing an endless stream of singing, movies and comfort as his heart slowly weakened and finally failed the young countertenor.
"Blaine buddy?"
Blaine barely registered Burt's voice. He was numb; the love of his life had just been buried forever.
"Blaine?" Carole this time. Blaine could feel Finn leading him to his car, although it was more like carrying. Wes and David were on his other side - he could hear David's sobs and Wes' soft comforting words on his left, and he knew that they were taking Kurt's death hard.
"Honey I know it's hard for you and your parents aren't here, so you're coming back to our house, no arguing."
The normally dapper young man was grateful for Carole's no-nonsense attitude. He didn't think he would be able to function on his own. He nodded slightly to let Carole know he had heard heras David and Finn helped him into the back seat of Finn's car.
A crow squawked overhead, sending Blaine into a whole new set of tears. Kurt loves- loved, real warblers, he remembered.
The drive back to the Hummel-Hudson's home was a blur for Blaine; an endless stream of comforting words and hugs that didn't get past his frozen exterior. He just wanted to sleep and never wake up. Because a life without Kurt wasn't a life at all, not anymore.
Kurt had changed him, so much. He was no longer the model student who let his parents bully him and who ran away from his fears. Blaine was now a young man who knew what it meant to love and be loved, and stood up to the demons of his past. Kurt Hummel was a miracle worker, and now he was gone.
Gone.
Blaine vaguely remembered Carole, Wes, David and even Finn attempting to draw him out of Kurt's room, feed him and even get him to shave, but Blaine was having none of it. Why should he carry on when Kurt wasn't able to? He was seventeen, things like this weren't meant to happen yet. Maybe in twenty, thirty, forty year time, but not now.
At long last it was the Warblers that managed to get Blaine to respond. The group entered Kurt's room silently; shocked to see Blaine curled up clutching one of Kurt's old pillows.
Wes, David and Thad stepped forward from the group, leading the song from one of Kurt's favourite musicals.
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
Jeff and Nick joined the three at Blaine's side; tears streamed unashamedly down every face in the room, and the three Hummel-Hudson's who were watching from the doorway.
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a sky bird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
Each Warbler joined in in perfect timing, no one a note higher or lower than the person next to them.
Because I knew you
I have been changed for good
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the thing I've done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
Slowly and quietly a voice joined the ranks of the Warblers, rough from lack of use over the past week and a half since Kurt's death.
And none of it seems to matter anymore
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood
The Warblers dropped out, leaving Blaine, Jeff, Nick, Wes, David and Finn to sing the final part of the song on their own.
Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better
And because I knew you...
Because I knew you...
Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good.
Blaine latched himself onto Wes' shoulder while David rubbed his back. He didn't know how he'd move on, live his life without Kurt, but right now he knew his friends would be there for him, whatever decision he might make, good or bad.