Better This Way
by Erin Griffin
Fandom: Once Upon a Time
Pairing: Swan Queen (Emma/Regina, Remma)
Summary: When Emma breaks off the unusual arrangement with her ex wife, the two women have the one discussion they should have had when they were still married.
NOTE: Done for day two of Swan Queen AU Week. Day Two, Divorced Lesbian Mommies
"We can't do this anymore. It's confusing Henry," Emma said, picking her bra from the floor and walking over to her light blue shirt.
"No dear, it's confusing you. You don't want to stop this, you just won't like not knowing what's going on." Regina said, her voice hoarse after their latest round of… Emma didn't want to wonder on what it was.
"Yeah well, whichever reason, this, whatever it is between us, it has to end."
"I'd believe it if you didn't say that last night, or the night before, or last weekend or-"
"You divorced me, Regina-"
"And you still keep climbing into my bed."
"Because I thought one of these times-" Emma stopped when she realized what she was about to tell her ex wife. "I'm not coming back to bed next time. I need to move on from you if… if you're never going to take me back."
"What do you want Emma? For us to- to-"
"It doesn't fucking matter what I want, does it?" Emma adjusted her buckle and her fingers flickered until, almost in a slight of hand movement, her badge was placed firmly at the hip.
Regina watched Emma's movements, her chest feeling something she hadn't felt since right before she stated she wanted to seperate from wife over a year ago. "We communicate now better than we always had, even you have to see that."
"Didn't communicate?" Emma scoffed. She had heard it enough in the end of their relationship as well as the continued reasoning for why their sexual relationship never seemed to end, even as their marriage had. "You know, I never really understood that. I told you everything."
"You never told me how you felt at any given moment. I hardly heard you tell me that you loved me or that you were angry with me or any of that."
"No, I may not have said 'I love you', but I told you every single day. Maybe I should have said it more, I don't know…" Emma took in a deep breath and roughly pulled her jacket on.
"I think things are better this way. Don't you?" Regina asked. She looked down at her lap after the two women stared at each other in silence.
"No." Emma said. She took two steps backwards towards the door, and then reached behind her for the door. "I love you Regina. I'm sorry I didn't say it more. I'm sorry for the confusion and hurt my silence may have caused. I'll… I'll be by Friday evening for weekend visitation." Emma turned then, and left the manor.
Regina bit her lip, her eyes scanning the room for a sign that Emma might come back, but just like the first night without her, there weren't any. "I love you too," Regina said to no one as her tears began to well in her eyes.