Summary: As the "Erotic Embassador" England is bound to have really wierd fetishes, right? Well, screw that. America's fantasy kicks anything England could have come up with in the ass.

Warning: Yaoi, language, and a really really wierd kink. Actually, wierd isn't a good enough word.

"America, I can't!"

"Come on, England! You promised!"

"America, you know I love you but... b-but this is just so odd!"

"You have wierd-ass fetishes too! You said if I let you top we would do anything I wanted to do as long as it was your dick going in my-"

"I know what I said, damn it! It's just..." England looked down at his lover's pleading blue eyes and felt his stomach drop. He loved the man with all his heart and would do anything to make him happy but...

"America, can you at least take off the face paint? It's bad enough you're wearing this absurd costume."

"But then it'll ruin the effect!"

"America-"

"Look, I agreed to do a roleplay acting as if I was a colony again last week! You know how awkward it was yelling "Brother!" every time you rammed into me? This is the least you could do!"

"Hey! We agreed to never speak of that again! Besides I never asked you to say that-"

"Oh please, you practically purred every time I said it." England blushed in shame and looked to the side.

"America... t-this is... I feel like I'm about to fuck a rabbit!"

"That's the point!"

When America called England earlier that day saying he was coming over to his house, the nation tried to act as if he was annoyed at blonde when in reality, he was probably as excited as his counterpart. They hadn't seen eachother in months and the sexual frustration was really getting to him. He missed feeling the other's tanned skin against his, his rough, calloused hands touching every part of his body, his cute, pouty lips and those gorgeous eyes he'd been enamoured with for longer than he can remember. When the younger male asked him to wear his hunting clothes, he was a little bit skeptical but quickly went through with America's request when promised that he would let England top.

When America came into to his house with a bag of white face paint, white bunny ears, a plastic rabbit nose with whiskers, and a full body white bunny suit, England was getting scared.

When he told England in his most serious voice after changing into the too-disturbing-for-fucking attire, "I want you to do me like there's no tomorrow", did England nearly shit his pants. And not in the good way.

At first England tried to go through with the request, he did make America go through many of his fantasies before (one of which involved a wand, some chili powder, and a live octopus), but when America started squeaking instead of moaning did England lose his edge.

"Please England, for me?" America looked at England with those goddamn puppy eyes and England simply sighed in defeat.

"I'm not even sure I can get aroused, America..."

"You got plenty aroused when I wore these ears before!"

"But that's because you were wearing only the ears, you prick!" The full body costume (it even covered his hair, hands, and feet!) wasn't even cotton, it felt like fur. And the face paint just completed the look. The only thing that kept on reminding England he wasn't fucking an oversized rabbit were America's blue eyes. And also the fact that rabbits can't talk, although America tries to argue otherwise. And the damned brat claims fairies aren't real.

"Please don't tell me this is why you insisted on getting dozens of rabbits when you were younger." Although England said it jokingly the thought of that being the real reason America was so obsessed with bringing the furry little creatures home disturbed him slightly.

"Fine, you can close your eyes if the outfit bothers you that much." England sighed in resignation. There was no changing the boy's mind when he put it to something. England rolled off America and closed his eyes. He felt America stradle his hips and unbotton his old hunting uniform. God knows how he's able to with the damned outift covering his hands. He felt soft lips showering his chest and relaxed a little bit. Maybe this wasn't so bad-

"Hey Iggy, do you still have that toy gun that I brought here when we did that police roleplay?"

Nevermind.

England browsed around the small pet shop. His dragon refuses to eat anything besides high quality dog food for some reason and he's stuck having to buy the expensive crap or else he'd hear no end to the overgrown lizard's whining. Damn git.

He tried to avoid the rabbit section, last week's roleplay with America still disturbingly fresh in his mind. He wasn't even allowed to remove the costume the entire time, he felt like he was deflowering a bunny! He didn't even come, damned thing was so disturbing. At least when they did the colony roleplay he made sure America came (and no, when America was a child he did not lust after him. No matter what America says. He just liked the power he had over America during that roleplay. Really. If anything he started to long for America in a more than platonic or family way when he was at least an inch taller han him. Not that he'll ever admit that). After that horrifying experience he ripped off America's costume and the toy gun they used (that thing went places where no toy gun should ever go) and any other thing that was involved in the roleplay (including the bunny ears) and burned it in his backyard.

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Yess-aah!" England's eyes widened a little bit and backed up as one of the employees held a white rabbit to his face.

"Are you alright? Are you allergic to them?"

"N-no, I'm fine. Just surprised me is all." The rabbit started to wiggle in the woman's hand and tried to inch over to England.

"Oh, that's good! Since you come around here very often, , you seem like a very caring pet owner. I was hoping you could take this little guy in."

'Oh Merlin.' England thought silently in his head. Of course the gods were cruel enough to do this to him after his traumatizing experience. Jackarses.

"Uh... I guess..." England took a hold of the small ball of fur and watched it cuddle into his hand. He was sure he would have cooed if he had not just fucked America in a disturbingly realistic bunny suit recently.

"Does he have a name already?" England scratched the bunny's head and it looked up at him. Of course the thing would have blue eyes. The gods are probably pissing themselves laughing at his expense right now. Wankers.

"Oh yes, his name is Alfred!"

England fainted.

A/N: To those of you who subscribed to my other story "Everything About You" I am so sorry for not updating! I swear by the end of the week that story will be updated.

This idea came to me at 3 am and for some reason it's the only thing I have been able to write in one sitting in a while. I don't know why this idea came to me, and I apologize for any traumatizing.

I hope you enjoyed my little apology story for not updating in a while :)