Songs for Kel Chapter 1: Just a Dream, a protector of the small quartet fanfic

Songs for Kel
DG32173

Sarah: this is my third fic that will be filled with song-chapters. The first was for Naruto, the second for the Twilight Saga, and now this one completely for Kel from the Protector of the Small quartet by Tamora Pierce. The songs-chapters in this fic will all center around Kel and whoever I decide to pair her with or just Kel. I might make other fanfics like this for other characters in the Protector quartet. The M-rating for the fanfic is just to be safe for future chapters. Anyway, here's my usual pre-story stuff in a fic like this.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the wondrous world of Tortall or any of the characters that reside within the tales about it. Nor do I own the songs I use in this fic. I only own what I do with the above and this fanfic; don't steal.

RATING: T

CHAPTER SUMMARY: AU Today was to be my wedding day, not the day I mourn the loss of my soul mate… Kel's POV (takes place in our world during the Vietnam War)

GENRE: romance/angst

PAIRINGS: Kel/Neal

SONG: Just a Dream

ARTIST: Carrie Underwood

JUST A DREAM

It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen
All dressed in white
Going to the church that night
She had his box of letters in the passenger seat
Sixpence in a shoe, something borrowed, something blue

I swallow the sobs and tears that want to pour forth. Today was supposed to be my wedding day to Neal, my soul mate. I just turned eighteen two weeks ago while he is twenty-three … or he would be twenty-three if he were still alive.

I'm dressed in the beautiful white wedding gown I had picked out with my mother just prior to my birthday. There's a sixpence in my shoe, his box of letters are in the passenger seat, my necklace emerald heart necklace I borrowed from one of my older sisters, and my earrings are sapphire drops. I have all the requirements for a perfect wedding to lead into a perfect marriage except one: my groom.

And when the church doors opened up wide
She put her veil down
Trying to hide the tears
Oh she just couldn't believe it
She heard trumpets from the military band
And the flowers fell out of her hand

As the doors leading onto the aisle to the altar where I should be getting married swing open, I put my veil down, trying to hide my tears behind it. I can't believe that he's gone so quickly. And I can't even give him a proper funeral. The land mine that he had stepped on in Vietnam had blown him into too many pieces to gather even for a cremation. When I reach the altar, I hear the trumpets from the military band and I lose what little control I have over my emotions. The red rose bouquet I had been clenching fall from my hands as I raise them to sob into them.

Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream

Why did you leave me, Neal? Why did you have to go? I was counting on forever to spend with you … now I'll never know what it would have been like. My breath catches in my throat as I try to keep the sobs that wrack my body silent.

It's like watching everything from a distance with, standing in the background as everyone says that he's not coming home now. This can't be happening to me, it's just a dream. But even as I think that, I know the cold, hard truth is that he is really gone.

The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray
Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt
Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever heard
Then they handed her a folded up flag
And she held on to all she had left of him
Oh, and what could have been
And then the guns rang one last shot
And it felt like a bullet in her heart

The preacher asks everyone to bow their heads and pray for the fallen man. My head is already bowed from immense sorrow and excruciating pain where my heart had been. I hear the preacher's prayer, "Lord please lift his soul and heal this hurt."

What is the man thinking? Nothing can heal this pain. My heart had been torn out and shredded the very moment I heard the news of his death. The congregation stands up and sings the saddest song I have ever heard. Then a corporal hands me a folded up flag and I cling to the bit of cloth that is all I have left of my Neal and what could have been had he lived.

Then guns ring out in one last shot. I don't know when we had all moved outside for the military's part in the funeral. The sound is like a bullet to the fragments of my heart.

As everyone starts to leave, the clouds that had been threatening rain all day let loose. As the congregation, preacher, and military people pass me, they apologize for my loss and several offer some of what little memorabilia they have of left of Neal. I give soft "thank you"s as I accept the little gifts and nods to the others.

Oh,
Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
Oh, now I'll never know
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream

Third person point of view

As the days turn into weeks then months, Kel keeps hoping and praying that she'll wake up from this nightmare. She grows more and more isolated as time passes by. No one can stand to see the beautiful girl become so lifeless without her best friend, her love, her Neal. What they don't know is that every night she dreams of the man who had been her world, of the wall that separates the living and dead.

Oh, this is just a dream
Just a dream
Yeah, Yeah

Finally, on the first anniversary of Neal's death, Kel takes her own life by overdosing on sleeping pills. She is found sprawled across her floor, a soft smile decorating her lips at last. If those who found her didn't know better, they would have thought she was just asleep. But she was cold and stiff to the touch without a pulse or a breath in her body. She was clutching the flag she had received upon his make-shift funeral …