Just felt like writing something a little bit on the silly side. Not even a huge fan of N/White, but still—this struck me as sort of a cute idea. :P
Also, Ghetsis is apparently in direct competition with Giovanni for the 'most neglectful daddy' award.
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon.
N, White decides, is strange, to put it bluntly.
It was almost routine now, the teenaged girl muses. Every now and then she would inevitably cross paths with the green-haired young man, they would have a battle, and the whole mess would culminate in a chat (or rather, he talked and she just listened patiently) about Pokémon rights, Pokémon liberation, how humans were, in N's mind, more evil than a PMSing Giratina on caffeine, mathematical formulas, and other such topics that made even Bianca's silliest moments seem downright tame in comparison.
So, yes, N is strange. Stranger than Bianca or Cheren. Well, not that Cheren was particularly odd—he just had the tendency to be an overly serious stick-in-the-ass at times (not that White was going to tell him that, oh no). And Bianca was just... Bianca.
N, in contrast, doesn't appear to have any social skills to speak of. And, much to White's misfortune, today's after-battle conversation topic leaves much to be desired:
"Hey, White," he asks after returning his Purrloin to its Pokéball, "do you know where babies come from?"
This is so random that the female trainer has the briefest suspicion that this is some kind of creepy attempt to hit on her. After an awkward pause, she coughs into her hand and gestures for him to repeat himself.
"Babies," he says again, eyes still bright with childish curiosity. "Because my..." he hesitates, "...my, er, father never told me, you see..."
Oh, hell. For the love of Zekrom's turbine tail—the idea of giving 'the talk' to a boy with daddy issues who looked to be perhaps two or three years older than her is so low on White's priority list that it's almost funny. Except it's not funny because it's so utterly unfunny, and if Cheren were here he'd be laughing his ass off, and White almost wishes that he was here, because then she'd have someone to punch.
So. Babies. White takes a deep breath, lets it out, and racks her brains furiously for some way to explain the workings of the world in a totally-not-mortifying way. Her mind turns to Pokémon. This seems like a good idea—after all, N is clearly more knowledgeable about Pokémon than he is about people. And so, the girl asks the question with a hint of desperation, well, surely he knows where Pokémon eggs come from, right?
Aaaaaand alas, her hopes are promptly shot down, because N innocently shrugs and replies, "Well, I did ask that old couple running the daycare center near Nacrene City, but they told me that it was a mystery where the eggs come from."
Damn it! The girl does a facepalm and immediately regrets it, because she's sure there's now a lovely hand-shaped bruise on her forehead. Honestly, though—she can understand the elderly couple giving that sort of an explanation to a very young child, but to someone who looked like they were in their late teens? Whatever, maybe they were just prudish.
Her green-haired not-quite-companion seems to notice her distress, for he waves his hands in what he clearly believes to be a pacifying manner. Not that it really helps the situation, but still, she gives him props for trying. In a valiant attempt to salvage the situation, the girl takes yet another deep breath and asks if he at least knows the criteria for finding a Pokémon egg at the daycare.
Bingo! At this, N's face seems to brighten, and as if quoting directly from one of Professor Juniper's encyclopedias, he chirps, "Of course! You have to have both a male and a female Pokémon, for starters. Or one of them could be a Ditto, I guess." He tilts his head to one side in thought. "I suppose it's the same way for humans? So then, those two Gym Leaders—Skyla and Elesa, I believe—they wouldn't be able to have a baby together because they're both female, right?"
Skyla and Elesa? Um, okay then. White immediately comes to the decision that this little tidbit of information is rather more than she cares to know about the inner workings of the Pokémon League.
N doesn't seem to notice her mercifully blank expression—he is cheerfully rattling off more breeding criteria, while simultaneously giving zero indication that he understands how the egg actually comes into being. To be honest, it's quite an amazing feat. Pathetic, sure, but amazing nonetheless. "Also, the two Pokémon must be in compatible groups. Although, really, sometimes they don't make much sense. Like Zangoose and Seviper—they're mortal enemies, so how does that even work? And what about Pokémon with huge size differences, like Skitty and Wailord?" He pauses for a moment, and then asks, with that same childish innocence, "Say, White, do you think we would be in compatible groups?"
White's eye twitches. Oh, conventional society be damned—if she ever meets N's father, she is definitely going to make him pay for this!
You'd better watch out, Ghetsis. Your poor parenting skills are going to bite you in the ass someday, White will make sure of it. xD