A/N: This is basically just things I've been thinking about lately, plus Tsubasa.
Warning: Celes spoilers ahead!
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Behind blue eyes and plastic smiles, Fai often thought about death.
He thought of the real Fai's death, and how it was all his fault.
He thought of Ashura's death, and how that would soon be his fault, too.
He thought of the deaths of his traveling companions, which he hoped simply come from old age (except maybe for Kurogane, who would be much happier dying in battle).
Most of all, though, he thought of his own death. He hoped for his death, but was too much of a coward to seek it out. He also hoped that his death would come by Kurogane's hands (as the ninja would later promise).
Fai thought about heaven and hell a lot, too. If there were so many worlds, then there must be at least as many heavens and hells, too. Fai thought that each person must have their own personal heaven and hell.
How can you get into heaven? Some people said it was by believing in God. Others said it was by doing good deeds.
What is heaven? Some people said it was a place free of guilt and sorrow. That couldn't be true, though, because happiness can't truly exist without sadness. And how could it be heaven without happiness?
It didn't matter, though. No matter how he looked at it, Fai knew he was going to hell.
There must be many hells. One person's hell could be slavery; another's, endless physical pain; someone else's could be having their heart broken over and over again; and yet another's could be having their parents turn against them and hate them. Fai knew what his hell would be: having to watch with no control as he killed his brother, his king, his friends, and anyone he had ever met, day after day after day.
Fai didn't want that. He was selfish for it and he knew it, but he didn't want that. So he kept living. And he kept his blue eyes and plastic smiles, never letting anyone know what he was thinking.
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A/N: Um… Yeah… I wrote all of this except the last two paragraphs after I finished the WASL yesterday… But I didn't have an ending planned out, so… Sorry about that terrible ending!
Please review?