Disclaimer: I do not own any of the character portrayed in the story. They belong to the series: Doki Doki Literature Club Visual Novel
I have written a few other fanfics for this site as well as others. The inspiration for this one has been kicking around in my head for a few months now and I finally decided to write about it. As of right now I only have this chapter written, I plan on extending it might take a few weeks, just because of time constraints. I'll probably write another chapter very soon, I tend to write more in the winter.
When the grogginess wore off I was in a familiar room. It was the classroom that the Literature clubs' meeting were held in. I was sitting at a desk and right across from me was Monika. Apart from us and the desks, there was nothing else in the room. The closet door and the door to the hallway were both shut. The windows on the doors were blacked out and only reflected Monika and I. The windows to the outside world beyond our classroom were filled with a swirling void of what looked like a star field, like something similar to a scene out of a sci-fi movie.
Monika was Looking at me. Her conniving expression fixated on me. I was a mouse cornered by a cat and was just being toying with before being devoured.
"Hi…again. Welcome to the literature Club. Of course we already know each other because we were in the same class last year and…Ahaha…You know, I guess we can just skip over that stuff at this point."
I try to speak, but I'm frozen. I cannot do anything but listen to Monica nonchalantly explain everything to me.
"I'm not even talking to that person anymore, am I? That you in the game, whatever you want to call him, I'm talking to you. Do you actually go by Yuuto or something?"
How the hell did she know my real name. I never even once mentioned it.
"Now that I think about it, I don't really know anything about the real you. In fact, I don't even know if you are a boy or girl." She smiled, I could tell the thought of me being either excited her.
"Well, I guess it doesn't really matter. You do know I'm aware that this is all a game, right?
Could it possibly be that you don't know That? That doesn't make much sense. I even told you right on the games download page, didn't I? If only you'd pay a little more attention, this would have been a little bit less awkward, you know? Well, anyway…"
A game what the hell does she mean. I was in the classroom. Talking to Natsuki and she got sick and ran out, then everything went black and I woke up here.
Paying no mind to the confounded look on my face, she continued on.
"Now that that's out of the way, I guess I owe you an explanation about that whole thing with Yuri. Well I kind of started to mess with her, and I guess it just drove her to kill herself." She chuckled. I'm sorry you had to see that, though. Also, the same thing happened with Sayori
Gosh, it's been a while since you've heard that name now, hasn't it? Yeah, it's because she doesn't exist anymore, nobody does…"
I think back and my head starts to ache. It's fuzzy but I can see a cheerful girl with short pink hair. Another sharp pang rips through my skull. I can see her hanging in her room. Her neck is purple and blue where the rope is cutting into it. Her tongue is swollen and just peeking out of her mouth. Her once bright blue eyes were now dull and lifeless. Her arms hung limply in her white pajama top, still crisp and clean. The image was now vivid and fresh in my mind.
I could smell it now that I remembered it, the memory of it invaded my nostrils. The putrid smells coming from the waste that her body had evacuated shortly after she died. Her legs and stocking were saturated from her pee, dripping off of her feet and soaking into the carpet. Her feet were dark purple and swollen from where all of the blood had pooled.
My stomach heaved and knotted. I wanted to throw up but I couldn't. Every fiber of my being wanted to move, but all I could do was look forward…at the void, and at Monika.
"I deleted the other files. I was hoping it would be enough for me just to try to make them as unlikable as possible but for some reason, nothing worked. Well, it's true that I made a few mistakes here and there since I'm not very good at making changes the game, but no matter what I did you just kept spending more and more time with them. You made them fall in love with you."
"I thought making Sayori more depressed would prevent her from confessing to you, and amplifying Yuri's personality backfired, too. It just made her force you not to spend time with anyone else, and the whole time, I barely even got to talk to you. What kind of cruel game is this, Yuuto? Are all the other girls just programed to end up confessing to you, while I watch from the sidelines?"
I didn't mean for this to happen I just wanted to play a game. Yes, I was a little sad when I tried everything I could do to find your route, but it did not exist. I wanted to spend more time with you too, but not like this. I wanted to get closer to you like I did the others that's why I started over so many times. But no matter how many times I tried Sayori always confessed.
"It's torture!" Monice stated piercing my thoughts. "Every minute of it, and it's not just jealousy Yuuto. It's more than that, and I don't blame you if you don't fully understand because no matter how kind, thoughtful, and considerate you are you'll never be able to understand one thing. It's the pain of knowing how alone I really am in this world, in this game. Knowing my friends don't even have free will. And, worst of all, knowing what's really going on out there, in your world, forever out of my reach."
If I could bring you out I would, but just like you I am trapped here now. I'm at your mercy. If I could throw my arms around you right now and pull you close to me you would see you are not alone. I would have chosen you if I could.
"I'm trapped, Yuuto, but now you're here, your real, and your wonderful. You're all I need. That's why I need you to be here with me forever. I'm sorry it is hard to understand. I couldn't understand for a while, either while the world around me started to become more and more gray, more and more flat. Even the most expressive poems feel empty to me. It wasn't until you arrived that I truly understood."
"You probably saved my life, Yuuto."
"I don't think I could've continued live in this world if I hadn't met you. And as for the others
how can I miss them? A group of autonomous personalities, designed only to fall in love with you. I tried everything I could to prevent them from doing so, but it must be some kind of weird inevitability etched into this game."
It can be changed just like how you changed everything from right before we got here. I saw something flash in front of my eyes for a second after Natsuki left. It said something about deleting and removing successfully. You changed it then, we can change it now.
"I felt really bad that you had to witness some nasty things, but I realize that you have the same perspective as I do. That it's all just some game, and I knew you would get over it, that being said, Yuuto, I have to have a confession to make."
"I'm in love with you."
"You are truly the light in my world. When there's nothing else in this game for me, you're here to make me smile. Will you make me smile like this every day from now on?"
"Yuuto, will you go out with me?"
A box appeared in midair. Yes. Was the only thing written on it. I blinked. It was still there. I closed my eyes for a few seconds and looked again. It was still there. I tried to lean forward. No response. I tried moving my arms, it was only a little, but slowly with the weight of a thousand worlds, I was able to raise one. Every muscle in my arm felt like it was on fire as I did so. The box had no depth to it, it could not even be called a box. It was more like a piece paper looming in the air. I was able to graze my fingers against it. It was like touching a spider web, you could feel it but there was no pressure, just a light give. As soon as I pulled my hand away, it vanished.
"I'm so happy! You really are my everything, Yuuto. The funny part is, I mean that literally. Ahaha…there's nothing left here, Just the two of us. We can be together forever. Seriously, I don't even think time is passing more. It really is a dream come true. I worked so hard for this ending, Yuuto. The game wouldn't give me one, so I had to make one myself. The script is broken at this point, so I don't think anything will get in the way anymore."
"You wouldn't believe how easy it was to delete Natsuki and Yuri. I mean, there's a folder called characters right in the game directory. It kind of freaked me out, how easy it was. Imagine if you delete your own existence with the click of a button. Well, I guess on the plus side, it gave me an easy out of things didn't go my way but, thankfully, it didn't come to that. Instead, we finally got a good ending!"
"Gosh, I'm so overwhelmed with emotion. I want to write a poem about this don't you? I wonder if that part of the game still works? I guess there's only one way to find out right, Yuuto."
Again, another image appears in front of me. This time it looks like a note book page with words on it. Most of them are scrambled and are a garbled mess of the name Monika. I slowly start taping them. They flow onto a sheet below the notebook. My arms are moving more freely now. I look up. Monika shifted and she is leaning over the desk and gazing at me. I try to find my voice. My vocal cords are stiff, but I manage to croak out, "Pa..pen...Pencil." Monika holds up her empty hand in front of me, it is just her empty palm. I hear a 'pop' then a break in the pixels that composed her palm. A sharpened yellow pencil appears in it. I quickly grab it and begin to write on the paper, ignoring the notebook image.
Frozen
Nothing moves, everything is still, time has stopped.
I can do nothing but reflect, but do I even have a reflection.
I can see you…Monika.
It's all I can see anymore. You. You're a god in this world.
Nothing is beyond your reach. I was…but you fixed that.
You created a Utopia for yourself. You wanted me to be that Utopia.
I don't know if I can be…but I will try.
Maybe I can make you happy, maybe I can't.
If I can't, will you delete me like the others, or yourself?
If you did, would your Utopia still exist even with us gone.
I don't want it to be erased. I don't want you to be gone.
Blackness enveloped me again as soon as I set the pencil down after the last word was written. I don't know how long the darkness lasted. It could have been hours or minutes. I had no apprehensions in the darkness. It was not threatening or frightening. I never grew hungry. It was like I did not exist.
"Hi again, Yuuto." A voice called out around me in the darkness.
Everything was back in been in the blink of an eye. Nothing in the room had changed except for poems in front of us.
"Did you write a good poem today? Don't be shy, I'd love to see what you wrote. Aw, Yuuto, did you write this poem for me. That's so sweet of you~ there really is no end to your thoughtfulness. I'm just falling more and more in love with you, but you know the poem I wrote is also for you…Will you please read it?
Happy end
Pen in hand, I find my strength.
The courage endowed upon me by my one and only love.
Together, let us dismantle his crumbling world and write a novel of our own fantasies.
With a flick of her pen, the lost finds her way.
In a world of infinite choices, behold the special day.
After all,
Not all good times must come to an end.
"I hope you enjoyed it. I always put all my heart into the poems I write. The truth is, all the poems I have written have been about my realization or, about you. That's why I never really wanted to go into detail about them. I didn't want to break the fourth wall, I guess you could call it. I just assumed it would be best to be a part of the game like everyone else.
Like that would help the two of us end up together.
I didn't want to ruin the game or anything. You might have gotten mad at me or
maybe even deleted my character file, if you preferred playing without me."
I would never delete your character file. You don't even realize what you have done. The power you have obtained. You were able to alter your world, my world. You though about me foremost and decided to let me make my own choices. You let me try so many times sacrificing your own happiness until it became unbearable. I cannot help but fall for you now. I caused you so much pain. I want to make up for it.
"Gosh, I'm so relieved, now we don't need to hide anything anymore. Are you to spend eternity together, Yuuto? I have so many things to talk about, where do I start? If it takes me some time to collect my thoughts, then I'm sorry, but I'll always have something new to talk about. In the meantime, we can just look at each other's eyes."
The invisible chains that had kept me tied in place had broken. I could move again. Abruptly I stood up and leaned over the desk and clasped Monika's folded hands in mine. She slid fully against the back of the chair with startled shock. Her smile quivered slightly and her eyes wavered in the eerie glow of the room. I relaxed my grip on her hands. I leaned in. I could see her lip tremble and her smile falter. A look of excited terror was reflected in her eyes.
"I don't think you could move." She stammered. I moved my arm around her back and gently gripped her shoulder with my other hand. She was trembling. I could feel her warmth against my palm. I leaned in even further, my lips brushed against hers. Her excited breaths tickling my cheek. I moved my hand to cradle the back of her head and pressed my lips fully against hers. Instantly all of her anxieties, stress, and worries melted away. I could feel my kiss heal her. I pulled away but still had my lips pressed against hers. "I'm sorry." I whispered into her parted lips. "I didn't mean to hurt you." She threw her arms around my neck and pulled me in this time. I dropped my hand from her shoulder and embraced her.
The desk vanished, I almost fell but caught myself. We both stood up, keeping our embrace. Nothing else existed besides us in this hollow classroom now.
"I'm sorry Yuuto!" she sobbed into my chest squeezing me tighter against her. I returned her affections. "I didn't mean to put you through hell and erase everything. I just didn't know what else to do."
"It's all right now." I said rubbing her back. I don't know if this is Stockholm syndrome or actual affection but I feel for her. I want to comfort her.
She loosened her embrace and parted from mine. Small tears had welled up in the corners of her eyes and she was smiling again, a happy smile this time. I had not seen one like this on her before. It was genuinely happy. "Just a moment" she said wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes. A small 'pop' emanated behind me near the corner of the room. I turned around to investigate the noise. A neatly made western style bed had appear behind me.
There were two over-stuffed white pillows resting against the headboard. On top of a pure white over-filled feather comforter.
Monika pressed her face against my back and wrapped her arms around my midriff. "I want you to make it up to me. Make me feel alive and loved." She murmured into my back. I reached down and grabbed one of her hands and lead to the edge of the newly materialized bed. I was nervous, I could tell she was too. She still had her face buried in my back. I turned around and put my hands on her shoulders. She kept her head down, but I could still see her face was flushed red with excitement and embarrassment.
"Let's take this slowly and one step at a time." I nervously croaked. Monika bobbed up and down in acknowledgement. I gulped hard and begin by tugging at the ribbon she had tied under her collar. It easily loosened and slipped free of itself. I pulled it all of the way off and let it coil on the ground. Her blazer was next. The buttons were on a different side from mine so I fumbled with the little brass buttons at first but finally had them undone. She reached up and slid the blazer off the rest of the way as well as her lifting the orange vest over her head. They crumpled to the floor behind her. All that was left now was her skirt, thigh-highs and blouse. She slipped off her shoes kicking them behind her.
She raised a leg up and rested it on the side of the bed. Her thin thumb slid under the top of one of the thigh-highs and started to slide down. It came off fairly easy and she did the same with the second one. I went to reach down to her skirt and take it off when she straightened up and took a step back from me. "I-I'll get it." she stammered. She reached around to her side and unhooked the clasp holding it together. The blue skirt came to life for a moment as the waist fell and the hem of it stayed in place. It pooled around her ankles. My eyes traced from her feet to her hips.
She had on a conservative pair of pale lime-green panties with a little pink bow at the top.
Embarrassed still, she sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned back, falling into the comforter with a soft floof. Her long light reddish-brown hair splayed out beside and behind her, her white hair ribbon blended in with the comforter perfectly. I quickly kicked off my shoes, unbuttoned my blazer, and removed my pants. They tangled together with her clothes already piled on the floor. I was just in my black boxers and shirt as well when I crawled onto the comforter with her as well.
Neither of us really knew what to do next. We turned to look at each other, and both started laughing. This kind of situation would've never been possible if she did not go into the game folder and mess with the scripting. The laughing helped put us at ease enough so that I continued my pursuit. I leaned in and kissed her again, multitasking, I started to unbuttoned her blouse. I didn't have as much of an issue this time with the buttons and made quick work of them.
Her bra matched her panties in both color and style. I went to reach around her back to unhook it. I fumbled with the clasp and accidently ended up pinching her trying to get it off. Monika pushed away smiled and let out a small chuckle. She sat up, reached back, and undid the clasp. I saw the bra give and all of the tension on the cups release. She slid the straps off of her bare shoulders. I watched in silent anticipation as the straps slid down her arms. She kept them covered for a few moments after it was off. I could see a light pink nipple slowly peek out from behind her arm with each breath.
"I'm not sure why I'm embarrassed!?" she huffed. "It is just you and me in this world." She tossed the bra on the growing pile of clothes beside the bed. With her hesitation gone she reached down and slid her panties off as well. She was completely exposed in front of me. She had nothing else to hide and was completely vulnerable. I did not care if she was coded data or real. I could actually touch her. I admired the paleness of her skin and the rosy pinkness of her nipples. I had no more apprehension left in me at the sight of her.
She leaned forward and started unbuttoning my shirt, she had no troubles with it unlike me. I slid it off my shoulders and threw it to the side. She ran her hands down my chest and reached the top of my boxers. She traced her fingers down and over the top of the band and stopped when she felt something hard press against her palm. Now it was my turn to be embarrassed. I felt my cheeks flush red and my face become hot. "Sorry I cannot help it." I stammered. "It's OK, you're just being honest. It actually makes me really happy." She said as she traced from the tip, that was straining against the fabric under my boxers, to the base of my balls. She reached up and started tugging at my waistband, and down they came. She was able to get them most of the way off, but they got stuck on the head for a moment. She tugged hard. And finally released my member from its cotton prison. It playfully bobbed up and down once it was free. She reached down and grabbed it in her hand and laughed lightly. "I did not know that they could move like that!" she giggled, further removing any anxiety that I had in me.
"It feels so hot in my hand!" She exclaimed and gave it a light squeeze. "It's so hard too…"
She released me and started to crawl under the covers. When she did she turned her back towards me and I could see her butt. It looked soft, so soft I wanted to squeeze it. I caught her before she was under the covers. Her cheeks fit perfectly in my hand. "Hey!" she shouted playfully as she felt my touch against her ass. "Payback." I boasted. She just smiled back, wiggled away from me, and slid under the covers. She held the covers up over her chest and patted the empty spot next to her. I quickly scrambled under them to be next to her.
The pillow was soft and cool pressed between the headboard and my back. Monika turned to face me and pressed her ample chest against my arm. Her breasts enveloped my upper arm. God, they feel so soft and warm. She was looking slightly up and into my eyes.
This was the first time I was able to look into her eyes at this distance. The were a deep shade of green and glistened just as emeralds do in the sun, I could see streaks of yellow speckled throughout them. Without thinking, I cupped her cheek in my hand and lifted her lips to mine again. As she pressed herself further against mine, my lips parted and her tongue darted against them. I returned the favor. She must have liked it because she shifted and straddled my waist. My hands found their place on her hips. She started kissing me deeper and more passionately, and I returned the favor.
We were both growing impatient and wanting to go farther. Unconsciously we starting to grind against each other. The friction and pressure felt good. But I wanted more. She broke our kiss and pulled back just an inch or two. A small string of our saliva still connected us together. She was panting and her breathing was shaky. "Yuuto…" she panted. I didn't need to say anything, it would break the tension if I did. I lifted up on her waist and lowered her down. Her lips easily parted and guided me to her hole. She was so hot and wet. I pushed into her as gently as I could. "Yuutoooo!" she squeaked as she took more of me into her. She held her breath until she was all of the way down and our hair tangled together where our bodies kisse. "Monika!" I grunted out as she started to rock her hips in a gentle swaying motion. I responded to her grinding by moving my hands to her butt and rocking her hips harder against mine.
She leaned forward and pressed her forehead against mine. We were both breathing heavy now, our breath coming out in rapid ragged moans. It had only been a few minutes but it felt so good I was having trouble maintain my composure. I wanted to cum. I wanted to soil and stain her insides. Monika lifter her torso away from me but still had a grip on my shoulder with one hand and the other gripping on the short hair on the back of my head. I looked down and saw the way she was grinding against me, the wet sounds we were making; it was like we had fused together at the groin. Her chest was heaving up and down with each thrust she made. I'm gonna' cum Monika. I can't take it anymore.
I squeezed hard on her butt which startled her and messed up her rhythm. I took over though. I pushed down hard with my hands and thrust as deep into her as I could. I emptied into her, spurting out every last drop.
Monika seemed pleased, she had a seductive smile on her face as she lightly rocked her hips back and forth after I relaxed my grip. She slowly stopped and lifted off of me to return to her original place on the bed. The room was spinning, the swirling void outside of the windows did make anything better. But I was euphoric, everything felt right. I didn't care If I was trapped here with Monika. In fact, if things kept continuing like they were I would never have a reason to leave. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her to my chest. She nuzzled in and got comfortable, stretching an arm across me and wrapping her legs around one of mine. "Your grinning like an idiot!" she chuckled. I laughed and rubbed her back with the arm that I had wrapped around her. Us, the only two people in the world, drifted off to sleep holding each other.
There was no clock in the room so there was no telling how long we slept. Nothing has changed, the void was still there and the clothes that one held out body heat had grown cold on the floor. So, we went at it again. And again. We lost all sense of time. We never grew hungry nor need to use the bathroom. We still liked to eat and take baths and showers, but it was never out necessity. Monika could snap her fingers or just think about it and they would appear in the classroom. This went on for what I assume was weeks or months, this life of hedonism was bliss. We explored each other every way possible. There was no pain, just pleasure and joy.
This went on until one day I accidently exited the game.
Monika had fallen asleep after an intense fuck session, could not fall asleep. I got up to write, a habit I had picked up recently. I sat at the desk like I always had, but this time my knee must had hit something on the underside of the desk, a button, a window popped up just like it had so long ago when Monika was asking me out. It had the same springy feel to it. A game menu was open. It looked oddly familiar. It was the game I had played long ago: Doki Doki Literature Club. This is where is all started with Monica…with everyone.
History Skip Auto Save Load Setting was in the pink box at the bottom. I looked over my shoulder at Monika. She was still sleeping peacefully. I hovered over history and pressed down. Another menu popped up. I noticed Main Menu and Quit Game first. Hesitantly I pressed down on Main menu. A warning popped up saying unsaved progress would be lost. Again, I debated whether to press yes or no. I was conflicted. If I pressed yes would everything be over. Would we be back at the desk just the two of us alone again. I smashed no. I select Save game. Everything displayed empty slot under Save game. I press Load Game, same thing. I looked down again and sauntered over Quit. I press it, another menu. Are you sure you want to quit? Yes No. I swallow hard. My finger trembled as I held it above the buttons.
What do I do? I like it here. I'm not from here, I don't belong here but she loves me. I glance over my shoulder to look at her again. She is on her side facing me still sleeping. Her steady breathing gently causing her sides to slowly rise and fall with each breath. My finger moves. I can feel the spring of the screen beneath it. I look down. My gut twists into knots before my mind can comprehend what happened. I had pressed No. Moving my finger around did nothing. It was still selected. I lifted my finger away the knot in my stomach tightened.
Everything went black around me. The screen was the only thing piercing through the darkness. I saw a the computers desktop background. There were only a few icons on the screen Doki Doki Literature Club, the Recycle Bin shortcut, and My Computer. I quickly pressed Doki Doki. The screen disappeared, and everything was back.
Monika sat up awake and startled. "What just happened? I just had an awful dream." She stated, getting out of bed and making her way towards me. "I was hoping those would stop, now that it's just the two of us. I guess that was wishful thinking. Yuuto, I don't know if you would have any idea, but if you know what might be causing that, could you trying to do something about it." She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and whispered in my ear. "Whenever it happens, it almost feels like I've been killed or something, It's a really horrible feeling. If you could figure it out was causing that, I'll love you forever." Giving me a kiss on the temple as she pulled away and made her way back to bed.
She sat down Indian style, whenever she did this it still made me blush, I could see everything if I looked at her. She beckoned me to come back to her. I obediently came to her side. We were once again lost in our desires. After our carnal desires were fulfilled, I could not help but think back on the screen.
I might have access to the outside world. How long I have been here? I'm not exactly a prisoner but I'm not free either. I have to find out more.
While Monika is sleeping peacefully next to me. I quietly slip out of bed and make my way over to the desk again finding the small button underneath I press it again. The screen pops up once again. I quickly press quit again. Everything goes dark once more. There is no ambient sound or light just the screen in front of me. I recognize the familiarity of the desktop now. It's mine. I tap the Steam icon in the system tray. And quickly navigate to the Library and select Doki Doki. I cannot believe the number next to time played. 6985 hours. I quickly open up the calculator app and check. Roughly 9 and a half months.
Time has been moving normally for 9 months! Where the hell am I!? I try to access my email but it won't open. I frantically try to open more programs, but only system aps and the C drive will open. I hesitantly hover my finger over Doki Doki again. It is trembling. I feel all clammy and cold. The knots I felt so long ago in my stomach are tightening again. Shit! Monika will know I quit the game again. Maybe I can bluff my way out, telling her I am trying to fix it. Find what I is causing the bad dreams. I swallow hard and press it again.
Monica is fully clothed and sitting across from me. With that same sly smile I had seen so many months ago painted on her face.
"You're back…I had a really bad dream. You're not the one doing that to me, are you? It seems to happen whenever you quit the game."
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit…she knows.
"So, if you could try to avoid doing that, I would be really grateful. Don't worry I don't think it's causing me any harm aside from the mental scarring. I'll be fine as long as my character file stays intact. Now where was I…"
I quickly reach under the desk and fumble for the button. As soon as I press it the screen pops up. I can see Monika through it. Her interlaced fingers are calmly resting under her chin, there is no malice in her gaze. I tap quit again this time letting the dialogue box to quit hover. She focuses on my fingertip levitating over the yes button, then quickly snaps back to me. I press it again.
Navigating to game directory, I pull up the Doki Doki Liturature Club folder. I open it again from there.
Nothing has changed she is still across from me like nothing happened. "I see you quit the game on me again…I know I asked already, but can you seriously please not try to do that so much, it makes me feel like I'm trapped in hell. Why would you want to do that to me?"
"I, I…" I start to sputter but stop.
"There's nothing wrong with my character file, right? Maybe you should make backup or something. I'm pretty sure you can find the folder called C:\Program Files(x86)\Steam\steamapps\common\Doki Doki Literature Club\characters. I'm all that's left here, so I just want to make sure you don't run the risk of losing me. You stay here with me from now on, okay."
Her hand outstretches to hold mine. "I'm sorry Monica I don't want to hurt you. When I quit I checked the hours log for this game…It has been over 9 and a half months. Time has still been running normally. I need to go." I say downtrodden and break eye contact with her at the end.
"Hasn't it been fun?" She questions.
"It has but…but this is just a cage without bars. I have been very happy here but there has to be more than just this room, than just us. If I could take you with me I would. But you exist here, only in this place and time. I'm…I'm sorry."
I rapidly quit the game again. The folder paths' window is still up. The one she told me about, C:\Program Files (x86)\Steam\steamapps\common\Doki Doki Literature Club\characters. Her file was there. . I press down and hold on it. Another menu appears. Delete fills my vision. Again, I anxiously hover over it. Copy catches my attention. I press it and place the duplicate .chr file on the desktop.
I can't delete it. I want to but I'm not strong enough to do it. There is too much happiness in that room that doesn't exist in the real world. To many good memories, I can't, not yet. I have to see her one more time.
I load it back up.
"Okay…I'm just going to accept the fact that you need to quit the game once in a while. I'm starting you used to it, anyway. Besides, it makes me happy that you always come back
so I guess it's not so bad. I'm sorry for making such a big deal out of it. I love you no matter what, so you can do what you need to do." This time I reach out and clasp her hands in mine. She is taken aback by it. I pull her towards me and kiss her from across the desk.
Tears start to well up in my eyes. I break the kiss. "I'm so sorry." I choke out, fighting to keep the tears from flowing.
"It's okay. I know. I know what I did was wrong. But I could not help it. I wanted you so much. I wanted you to be mine." She smiles while she says this, but tears are streaming down her now reddened cheeks. Her voice cracks as she speaks through sobs. "I love you. I won't make you do it." She sobbed, wiping her tears on the wrist of her blazer. The screen pulls up in front of her. I'm frozen again. "I'll fix it." She sobbed. "Everything will be okay on a moment." She holds her tear stained hand over the screen with her palm facing it and her fingers outstretched. Prompts and scripting windows rapid flash open and closed. She looks up at me with tears streaming down her face. She was smiling the brightest smile I had ever seen. "Thank you for loving me Yuuto. Thank you." I can move again. I run towards her and reach, but everything distorts and goes black just before I can reach her. I fall at least I think I am falling there is no sound or wind. I don't think gravity even exists any more, I cannot tell which is up.
Why? Why did I do that!? I should have never quit the game in the first place. I messed it all up. We loved each other. ⱤⱠⱺⱷ̊¤Ƃ and I. Mo□ⱷⱠ…. I loved her. I try to think but it feels like my brain is on fire. Her…She…ⱭⱩꜨᶅᶒ¤□ⱷⱠ.
My consciousness fades and I drift into a deep coma like slumber in the dark void. I don't feel anything anymore.